


Where I Stand

by LadyHatake



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Academy days, Adventure, Angst, Bonding, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Post Graduation, Reader Insert, Scout!Reader, Secrets, Slow Burn, trainee!reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15010100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHatake/pseuds/LadyHatake
Summary: It was previously unheard of for anyone to join the trainee ranks a mere thirteen months before graduation. As shocking, unfair and impractical as it sounds, it's happened. Three years into their training, the 104th Cadet Corps has a new face— a girl who was taken in under 'special circumstances' and has barely shown herself among the other trainees. Until now, that is. More than that, she's making a name for herself and taking the cadet ranks by storm. Who is she?Oh, right...it's you.





	1. The Center of Attention

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just recently came up with the idea for this SnK reader insert, and I think it'll be interesting to write. This short intro chapter is just a test-run to see how well received the idea is, and I'll likely have the next one up soon. 
> 
> This first chapter will be in the third person's point of view, but the following chapters will be (reader's) second person! :) Just so you know.

"_______?" Their Titan Physiology instructor calls out to the room, surprising anyone bothering to listen. The graying, bespectacled man himself looked a bit taken aback, adjusting his glasses upon his nose and eyeing his clipboard. "Is there a Miss _______?"

"Present." A voice softly called from the back left corner of the room, where nearly every student turned to gawk. 

In one of the previously unoccupied seats sat a girl, gazing at the physiology teacher with an almost bored look on her face. Strange...no one had ever noticed that any of those seats were taken. They were the seats the instructor had forced the other cadets out of in order to move them to the open ones in front of the class. 

That had been at the very beginning of their training, and no one had sat there since. Had anyone even seen this girl before? What was she doing here? 

"Ah...Miss _______." The instructor nodded at you stoically, almost reproachfully. "Good to have you. Please follow along." 

The girl only nodded once and looked down at a small, military-issued notebook she had set in front of her. Throughout the class, the girl would jot things down periodically, seeming to barely pay attention to the actual lecture. 

"Who's the new girl?" A blue-eyed brunet asked sometime during the end of class, once their instructor had dismissed them for the day. Two of his friends hung back with him a little as they watched the girl in the back of the class; not packing her notebook away, not even moving but simply staring out one of the windows. 

"No idea." A blonde boy with large blue eyes of his own responded and quickly ushered the brunet out of the room at the quiet nudging of their instructor. The two were followed closely by a raven-haired girl wearing a red scarf. 

"Move along you three, nothing more to see here. It's the end of class, I thought you'd be tripping over yourselves to get out as usual." The adult chuckled good-naturedly and waited until the trio of kids cleared out of the room. 

"Wait a second." The blonde whispered once they had stepped just out of earshot. "Ah— actually, never mind. You two just go to the mess and save me a spot. I'll be there in a moment."

"What's the matter?" The brunet, known as Eren Jaeger asked his best friend, eyeing him curiously. 

"Just..have to ask Instructor Cals about something." Armin quickly makes up an excuse, and moves as though to return to the classroom as the two of his friends shrug and make their way towards the mess hall. 

Meanwhile, Armin, who has just caught the last few words spoken by a soft, feminine voice, halts in his steps and listens intently. 

"-unusual to enter into the cadet corps this late. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"Just...don't be at all surprised if the course load is a little hard to catch up on, alright? I'm sorry, Miss _______, but I just can't promise I can afford any extra time to go over all of the material with you when I have so many other students to worry about."

"I understand completely, Instructor Cals." The girl replied, with what Armin guessed was a smile. The voice wasn't cheerful, exactly...more carefree. "Please, don't worry yourself. I certainly won't. I and those who referred me to this trainee class have the utmost faith that I'll be able to handle anything thrown at me."

"Well, your confidence is certainly frightening." The instructor sighed. "For your sake, I hope you're right. Dismissed." 

As though caught in a trance, Armin didn't have the good sense to move until it was too late. Bumping into the girl exiting the room in his haste to leave, he ended up falling to the floor in an awkward sprawl. 

"Oh, sorry." The girl smiled down at him and offered a hand, which the blushing blonde graciously accepted. He stood and brushed himself off, internally asking what he'd gotten himself into. 

"No, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have been in such a rush." The boy smiled, a bit hesitant, and cleared his throat, taking in the sight of her and wondering if he'd ever seen her face before. "Uh...I-I'm-"

"I'd love to talk, but I'm actually in a bit of a hurry. Maybe I'll see you later." The girl smiled once more, in somewhat of an apologetic manner and waved as she began walking down the hall. Once she was safely out of earshot, Armin slapped a hand over his face and groaned lightly, realizing he's just made a complete fool out of himself. 

"Arlert?" 

"Gyaa! Instructor Cals!" Armin straightened up and looked his superior in the face with as much dignity as he could conjure. "I-I wanted to ask you-" 

"Look Arlert, here's the pencil you left at your desk." The instructor held out a hand, the graphite utensil pinched between his fingertips. "Try to keep your supplies close, kid." 

With nothing left to do, Armin nodded, still quite embarrassed, and hurried down the hall in the direction everyone else had gone in. Truthfully, he'd only wanted to know a little more about that girl, and why she was entering the corps so late. It made no sense. Even if she studied as hard as she could, as hard as Armin himself, it was astronomically unlikely that she would gather enough experience and knowledge in just thirteen months to successfully graduate. 

"Try and keep that curious streak of yours in check as well, Arlert. Will you?" Cals chuckled and shook his head as he returned to his classroom. "Curiosity killed the cat, you know." 

Ears pink, the blonde marched as quick as he could to rejoin his friends, unsure if he should actually tell anyone what he'd heard. It had been nothing of value, after all. To share any of the conversation he'd just heard would just be spreading gossip. 

Unfortunately, or perhaps quite fortunately, the mysterious girl from their Titan Physiology class did not make an appearance at the canteen during dinner. Nor did she enter the girls' barracks that night, or show up at breakfast the next morning. She didn't join them for their light morning exercise, or for their 3DM training at noon. So, while no one had any actual information on the girl, or anything to go on at all besides her name, any gossip had pretty much died down by the next day. 

It was a few days later, when everyone had mostly forgotten her sudden appearance, that she made another one. 

"Look! There she is!" A voice hissed as she walked by a table in the mess hall. A short, tactless trainee known as Connie Springer pointed her out. 

"Huh. I was beginning to think everyone had just imagined her." 

"Shh, you guys! She could probably hear you!" 

A teen with two-toned hair and a long, proud face sat glumly in his seat, rubbing a sore shoulder he'd gotten in weight training a few days prior. It was due to this that he'd been out of class the day she'd shown up, and hadn't gotten to see her. Next to him sat a cute, freckled brunet. 

As it turned out, the new cadet had heard them on her way to the food counter, but their voices soon got lost in the lull of the now quickly-filling canteen. Within the murmur of the mess hall, she could hear several others; nondescript cadets, some loudly and some quietly stating their surprise and discontent over the newcomer. 

"I bet she's related to one of the higher-ups. Favoritism at its finest."

"Nah, I heard she got in so late under the direct order of the King." 

"That's crazy!" 

"You idiot. If that were so, the King would've just appointed her to whatever title he wanted." 

Struggling not to roll her eyes, the center of attention quickly made her way to an empty corner of the room near the doors.

When she'd gone up to get her dinner, their voices had been obscured first by the distance between them, and that had been fine. Then, they were drowned out by the other rumors floating about, which...she guessed was fine too. But that trio of boys sitting a few tables away– she thought she recognized them from the one class she'd attended so far. Great. So that meant that she'd be around them a lot. 

Now, she could once more hear their conversation. 

"-entering the corps with only thirteen months to go before graduation? That's unheard of." The boy with the freckles was murmuring, but with her excellent hearing, he may as well have been talking normally. 

The new trainee was surprised to hear not only shock in his voice, but concern as well. At the gentle tone, and the straightness of his back (he must've now been aware of her position a few tables behind him) she almost smiled. Instead, she simply kept eating, looking forward to settling down for the night once she finished her meal. Although they too were talking about her, she counted her lucky stars that the space between them hadn't yet filled with people. At least their conversation was mildly interesting, and not composed of a bunch of silly rumors. 

"Yeah, no kidding. That's practically no time at all compared to the three years we've all been here. I mean, it's not really fair either." 

"Please, nothing about this is fair. Of course it isn't. It's pretty much saying that any one of us could've come in three quarters through and still finished the program. If that girl graduates, it'll be a loud and clear shout out to everyone that we all went through the past three years for nothing." The boy huffed, looking spiteful and completely put out. "What makes her so special?" 

"Jean, maybe you shouldn't-"

"Well, I know a couple of people who probably could've graduated after only a year." Connie gave a sideways glance to another girl who sat on her own in the middle of the canteen, her presence seeming to form an icy shield between her and the other cadets. 

"Annie." The boy known as Jean acknowledged, nodding. "Maybe. Definitely Mikasa." 

"Then again, I know a few people who could go double the time and still not make the cut." Connie snickered, and Jean snorted, adding that Connie himself would be among those few, causing an insulted 'Hey!' to be shouted across the hall. 

Having had enough of the gossip, and enough of the general loudness of the canteen, the special trainee made quick work of her dinner and filed out of the hall. Just as she was leaving, she seen the blonde boy she'd met a few days earlier, as well as who she assumed to be his two friends. Nodding politely, she attempted a brief smile and made plans to make for the showers before night fell. 

After a stressful few days (or months, more like) she felt like she finally had downtime to relax. Now, if only she had it in her to be a little more social. Though she should've been excited, or at least relieved, she found herself suddenly discouraged to remember that she had an entire building full of girls to face before the night ended. In just under an hour, she would have to make sleeping arrangements and explain to a bunch of girls that already knew each other why she was suddenly intruding upon their cabin. 

She could only hope she didn't immediately hate all of them upon entering. She needed a good night's sleep before the morning– where she would begin her first day of official training to become a graduate of the 104th Cadet Corps.


	2. Not Quite a Beginner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost every cadet who's caught wind of your appearance believes that you'll wash out before you even get your boots dirty. This was the first notion you proved false.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for such a long wait! I really didn't know if my tiny intro chapter would get a lot of attention, but (all things considered) I couldn't be happier with the views, kudos and sparse comments. :D Also, I'm slowly starting to learn the HTML tags, so bear with me. You'll have to forgive any grammatical errors.

"Cadets Hoover and Springer!" 

"Sir!" The boys stood to attention, fisting their hands over their backs and hearts respectively. Shadis had stalked over to where every cadet in the 104th corps had lined up. 

"Show this little girl how things are done in this class!" 

Every word he spoke was either shouted or sneered, but you hardly even blinked when the man got right up in your face. Instead, you stood as calmly and stoically as you could manage as your new instructor came to stand a scarce six inches from your face, spraying droplets of spittle with every other word. 

"Review the basic fighting stance, and demonstrate how to properly and effectively disarm an enemy!" 

Already feeling yourself tiring, you moved without motivation toward the area where you were instructed as the instructor barked orders at the rest of the corps. Soon, you found yourself facing two other cadets, one really short with a close-shaven head and the other really rather tall and nervous-looking. 

Jeez, wasn't this their third year in? You'd have thought any nervous disposition would've been shaken out of them early on in their training. 

How difficult was this going to be? 

"Uh...so this is how...it..works." The tall one (Hoover or Springer, you didn't know which yet) said in a deep but very soft voice. Your eyes were on him, though his weren't on you, but off somewhere to the ground at your left. "Obviously not everyone can make Military Police standard, but Shadis still makes us train like we can. So one of the first things we learned when we were new was how to take a basic fighting stance." 

Nodding, you waited. You'd collected that much already, but didn't want to say it out loud. You may have not been the best at verbal communication, but knew that you didn't want to embarrass the poor, tall thing or put him on the spot any more than he already was. 

"It goes like this, alright?" The shorter one seemed fed up with the pace of conversation, and held his fists up in a stance you almost raised an eyebrow at. "I'm Connie, by the way. Connie Springer." He paused, then smiled, just a little. The short boy's gaze was mildly interested, but sort of pitying as well. "So, you're really a new cadet? Have you trained somewhere else, or-" 

"Don't bother talking to the kid, Connie." Someone drawled off to your right, and you turned curiously to see who had spoken so arrogantly. 

It was a girl. She stood a bit taller than you, with freckles and brunet hair pulled into a short ponytail. She was smirking at you. 

"Look at him, trying to make friends." She scoffed, seemingly to anyone close by. One hand fisted over her hip and the other holding a wooden replica of a rifle, she eyed you up and down not once but twice. Then she looked at the boy called 'Connie' with a condescending leer. "She's gonna be outta here in no time, genius! Why even bother?" 

"Hey, you don't know that!" Connie yelled back just as heatedly, making you and the other cadet (Hoover) flinch at the volume. "Anyway, nothing's wrong with making a little conversation, Ymir! Butt out while I teach her how to fight, alright?!" 

"Ha! You're not serious are you, Springer?" The girl, Ymir, asked harshly, throwing you a menacing grin as she walked up to you. Next to her, a tiny blonde girl raised a cautious hand, but hesitated after glancing your way. 

If everyone around you hadn't known any better, they'd say you weren't afraid or...even concerned at all.

And there were a lot of people watching. Odd, they thought, or stupid, for a cadet to be so undeterred, especially for one entering the academy so late in the class. But that look on your face...

"Well if you really want to learn to fight, you're with the wrong sparring partners, honey." Ymir smirked, stalking up to you until she stood less than a foot away. "Still, try not to fall on your ass too often in front of Shadis. That's about the best you can hope for." 

"Thanks for the advice." Your voice was neither loud nor soft, your words simply spoken to be heard. You eyed the girl briefly as well, before turning your head to face the cadet called Connie Springer once more. "But these are the sparring partners I've been given." 

You were also sure that the head instructor, Shadis, had eyes in the back of his head, and that he'd been listening, if not watching everything that was going on in the training grounds. He was stood on a slightly elevated platform and stood in such a way that reminded you strongly of some other superior officers you could mention. Yeah, there was probably very little that got past him. 

Taking the fighting stance Connie had showed you, you allowed a small smile to grace your lips. 

"Is this okay?" You asked, and slightly regretted your easy-going tone as Connie's eyes lit up interest. Meanwhile, Ymir made a small sound of disgust as she walked away. 

"It looks fine," Connie nodded, and the taller of the two, Hoover, shrugged a bit, opening his mouth. Whatever he had to say, Connie beat him to it. "But it's really the next steps that count." 

"Can you demonstrate the proper disarming of an enemy?" 

"Yeah! Ah..." Connie looked up at Cadet Hoover, nearly twice his height and you smiled a bit. "Bertholdt?" 

"I'll disarm you." The sweaty brunet nodded stiffly. "Probably easier that way." 

A brief moment later, after a small struggle on Connie's part, Bertholdt held the wooden practice knife and Connie was on the ground, swearing and covered in dirt. 

"Hm." You hummed quietly, after watching their display. _'Well'_ you thought, _'not bad, but none too effective either. I suppose...whatever works...'_ and for some reason or another, you got the strangest feeling that the tall and nervous-looking Bertholdt was holding back. 

Maybe they were friends. Only to be expected, after all, spending nearly three years together, living with each other...

"Miss?" Bertholdt was asking, and you realized that he'd had to ask two or three times before you'd heard him. He waved a hand lightly, trying to get your attention, and you blinked, looking at him with a small smile that he hesitantly returned. "Are you okay?" 

"Oh...yeah, fine." You nodded and then shook your head, trying to scatter the distracting thoughts. Now then...

"Hurry it up, maggots!" Shadis screamed from his platform, startling the two boys. "I said show her the basic form, not chat her ears off! The responsibility of her success in this class is half hers and half yours as a unit!" The authority figure sneered. "How ever many cowards that have weaseled their way out of my command, _none_ of them have left unscathed, you hear me?!! Step it up!!" 

Both boys looked at each other, maybe trying to decide who had to take the displeasure of pummeling you first. 

"Face me." 

It was you who'd startled them, then, as you took your own fighting stance. Both arms up, but in a rather loose position, palms open and one held a few inches in front of the other. Shoulders down, but tensed, and not quite parallel with the rest of your body. 

Someone laughed to your right, a harsh bark of a sound, probably at your stance, but male this time. So, not Ymir. Connie's face really was kind of funny, and so was Bertholdt's. 

Cadet Bertholdt was stiff as a board, and held an expression of both worry and what looked to be pity (again with that particular look! Everyone there must have been under the impression that you were completely new to military training.) The smaller of the two (of the three of you, if you were being honest) had a reassuring grin on his face, which was obviously uneasy and fake but a nice gesture nonetheless. 

"Um, how about a little more like this?" He showed you again what passed as a 'basic stance' in the class, but you shook your head. 

"It's fine." You held no expression while you said this, but at seeing his worried face still, you tried for your own reassuring expression. "I think it's only fair to say that I'm not a total beginner when it comes to hand-to-hand combat– though you'll have to forgive me if my form is a little off. Let's just try not to hurt each other the first time, alright?" 

"Okay....yeah." He nodded, and you nodded back, though you could see he didn't really take you seriously. In the next moment, he had the wooden knife in his hand as he moved in, worn blade aimed toward your midsection. 

The moment after that, he lay shocked, face down in the dirt. You loomed directly over him, the wooden knife falling to the ground near your knee, which had been placed over his spine. The other leg bore most of your weight in a half-crouch as you held one of his arms at an odd angle behind his back. 

"Holy...shit." Connie grunted, and you immediately let him up, taking your knee off his back. Several people were openly gaping, and a couple of them were laughing now. 

"I'd say!" A boy with two-toned hair and an arrogant face laughed, openly pointing at the fallen boy. "What the hell was that, Connie?! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you should be learning from her!" 

Connie, who was now too embarrassed to take your offered hand as he stood up. Glancing back at the two-toned boy, you were reminded that he was the one who'd been talking about you the previous night. Loudly, too...and with Connie, now that you thought about it. 

_'-nothing about this is fair.'_ The long-faced cadet had said in the mess hall, unknowing or maybe knowing full well that you could hear every word being said. _'If that girl graduates, it'll be a loud and clear shout out to everyone that we all went through the past three years for nothing. What makes her so special?' ___

"Well...damn!" The flustered boy crossed his arms, still red in the face as he looked everywhere except in your direction. "How the hell was I supposed to prepare for that shit?!" He glared at the giant next to him, who tensed up immediately. "Bertholdt! Get up there!"

"W-what? Hold on–" 

"No! Never mind!" Connie shook his entire body, and faced you once more, now with a new light in his eyes. Now, it seems, he knew you hadn't been kidding when you'd said you weren't new to this. "Again!" 

__

_'Needs to reclaim his honor now, hm?'_ You hummed internally, wanting to smile but giving nothing away in your expression. Still, you tried to keep your expression light. _'Too bad he never will. Not against me...'_

"You sure?" You asked, and startled as he rushed you without warning, knife held in one fist, but the other flying towards your face. 

"Dude!" Someone cried. 

"Cheap shot!" Another person yelled, but you had already taken Connie's outstretched arm in hand, stepping into his movement. Within the space of one second, you had grabbed his hand with the knife, his elbow, and had turned you both in a semi-circle, using the momentum to force him to the ground once more. 

This time, you knelt next to him instead of on top of him when the knife hit the dirt below. Catcalls, more laughter, and more sounds of surprise could be heard this time around when you stepped back from the boy sprawled on the ground. 

"Sorry." You murmured, after you'd offered your hand a second time, and he'd refused...again. 

"Serves you right, trying to blindside her like that!" A blue-eyed boy with a passionate face and brunet hair yelled in your direction. Several others had come to gather around, while some were still mock-fighting in what was probably an attempt to keep Shadis off their backs. 

"Sorry..." Connie muttered in reply, bent over and holding his shoulder, though it couldn't have been out of pain (you hadn't maneuvered him to hurt him). It seemed more like confusion. Then, to the brunet boy who'd spoken, Connie shouted, "You come and try to land a hit! It's like fighting Annie!" 

"Aw, come on, you're just losing your touch!" The boy with the two-toned undercut and long face grinned amusedly. You were sure you'd heard his name in conversation earlier, but couldn't remember...not that it mattered all that much. Briefly you wondered who 'Annie' was, thinking you may have heard her name from other cadets as well.

The arrogant-voiced boy then directed his gaze to the brunet giant to your left. "Bertholdt! You're her other sparring partner, go get her!" 

"H-huuuh??" The boy sputtered, holding his hands up and looking at you like you were going to tear him to pieces without warning. 

"She's half your height!" The blue-eyed boy who'd spoken earlier yelled, coming in closer, followed directly by a raven-haired girl and a blonde boy– wait, you knew that blonde kid as well. You remembered him in particular from your brief meeting outside the Titan Physiology classroom. 

Oh, he was gazing at you. He had blue eyes too, big ones, and brighter than the brunet boy's, more pale. Deciding you didn't really want conversation or distraction at that moment, you looked away to your other sparring partner, wondering if Shadis was watching. You hoped he was. Connie seemed to have disappeared into the crowd. 

"Most of you are half my height and most of you have beaten me in hand-to-hand combat." Bertholdt didn't look frightened, exactly; more flustered than anything. Could he have been any better than Connie? 

"Try that move you did on me!" A harsh but mostly friendly voice spoke directly into your ear, and you jumped a bit. There's where Connie had went, just behind you. At least he hadn't tried to jump you from the back. He placed an arm around your shoulders with some effort and gave a feral grin to your other partner. "Or flip him over! If you're anything like I think you are, you could probably pull it off easy!" 

"Connie!" Bertholdt seemed appalled, while some people snickered. 

"What? You're her partner too." 

"He's right, Bertl." Someone teased– a big blonde teen, built like an ox. He grinned at the tall brunet. "Take up the knife." 

"...." Bertholdt made a face, knowing he was cornered, and bent to pick up the wooden knife Connie had kicked over; the shorter boy still hung off your right shoulder. 

"Get him, _______!" Connie urged excitedly, seèming to have forgotten his earlier embarrassment. "Flip him into the dirt! I've always wanted to see that! It's only happened a couple times, and I've never been there to see it." 

"Well, he'd be expecting that, right? No fun in that." You hummed, appraising the tall boy in front of you. 

At your words, Bertholdt made a small sound of trepidation and took an awkward position with the knife in hand. Probably used to sparring with people a bit taller than you. Besides the nerves and sweat, he seemed like a decent guy, if a bit soft-spoken. He couldn't have been all that weak, having made it this far into training. You didn't believe he was actually frightened; he was a cadet in the trainee corps, for gods' sake, and this was his third year in. Nevertheless, you offered a tiny smile. 

"Relax." You chuckled briefly, approaching him easily with measured steps. Then, you took your stance. "You're so tall, I probably couldn't even pull off those same moves if I tried. Especially, now that you've seen how it's done." A pause, then you muttered, "So tall...I don't think I've ever met anyone so tall. You could probably just step over me if I tried to flip you." 

A couple people snickered at this as well. Your eyes narrowed. Those few times had to have been done very quickly for it to have worked on such a tall opponent. Or had to have been done by someone equally as tall. 

_'Still...should I try it?'_

"Take up the knife!" The big blonde yelled, startling several people. "I wanna see what happens!" 

"Reiner!" 

You smiled then, a real but fleeting grin as you moved in quick succession toward the brunet giant. 

_'Let's try it.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was around 2,800 words (a word count almost UNHEARD OF for my story chapters, believe me. My usual minimum is like 3,500 at least) but anyway, I felt like it was going really slow, so I decided to cut it off here. There hasn't been much of a chance for our girl's personality to shine through just yet. If you'd like to suggest a certain scene (not making any promises!) go right ahead and slip it into the comment section, because while I have the overall plot for this story, I am open to suggestions for the filler chapters. As long as they are within reason. 
> 
> We are in for a very slow burn, readers. A slow, SLOW BURN, and I plan on making this very multi-chapter. Let's see how it goes, shall we? :) I'm relatively new to reader inserts and completely new to writing for the SnK fandom, but give me a chance, kay? 
> 
> Hope everyone's had a great summer, and best of luck for those of you going back to school! I sure as hell need some luck, guys. :,D
> 
> Updated: August 19th 2018


	3. Remarkable and Unprecedented

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet more of your peers, and learn that while this whole training camp business might be overrated, socializing is just as hard as its ever been. Or...maybe it isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing warms an authors heart more than the enthusiasm of a reader! Thanks a bunch to those who left kudos and comments! Mwah! 
> 
> I know our character may seem a little dry, but we'll try to loosen her up, okay? I'm currently struggling with our girl's personality and her backstory, so that may be why she seems a bit two-dimensional. Give it a little time. Also, the previous chapters and even the story's TITLE may be undergoing a bit of reconstruction, so look out! >:O

"So did it hurt?" Jean chuckled. "It must've. The new kid handed your asses to you five times before you'd had enough. Plus she's a girl!" 

Connie scowled while Jean laughed. Bertholdt sat morosely in his seat, pride having been taken down a peg or two during training. "Well, it took _you_ five times, anyway. Bertholdt here gave up after losing once." 

"She's fast." The tall brunet shrugged, and Jean snickered. 

"I bet you guys could've taken her if you'd really been trying." Jean shook his head, smiling as Marco sat down next to him, and Reiner across the table on Bertholdt's side. "You still need to learn to not go so easy on the girls." 

"I resent that." Mina said from across the isle, where she sat across from Annie. 

"Hey, didn't I hear you the other day saying that she hasn't even come back to the bunks since her first day?" Reiner asked curiously, eyebrows frowning. "How can that be? It's mandatory for cadets to sleep in the cabins isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Annie spoke, startling the other cadets. 

"Now that you mention it, where is she?" Jean demanded suddenly, looking around the canteen, where most cadets had already gone back to their cabins. "I've been here since dinner began, and I haven't seen her." 

"I didn't see her outside." Marco chimed in, looking around as well, looking curious but also slightly concerned. "You don't think...Shadis...you think he went too hard on her?" 

"Marco, he treated her like the rest of us." Jean scowled. "It shouldn't be any different for her just because she got a late start. If anything, he should be going harder on her to make up for all that time lost." The teen made an angry noise. "Thirteen months left to go...what the hell's all that about anyway? Has anyone asked her?" 

"I did earlier, but she didn't really answer." Connie grimaced, looking into his soup. 

"So did I! And so did Hannah and some of the other girls." Mina added. 

"What did she say during training? Something about already knowing hand-to-hand combat?" Jean asked in Connie's general direction. He'd been there, somewhat watching, but not really close enough to hear every word. 

"You mean before she pummeled him?" Reiner snickered. "I think she said she wasn't new to it, but her form might've been off. Isn't that right, Bertl?" 

"That's what she said." Bertholdt nodded, not quite looking up from his tray. "That was just before she took the knife from Connie." 

"Yeah, and right after she said we should go easy on each other." Connie muttered, still sore over the subject, however much he brushed it off. 

"At least she talks to you." Mina murmured, just as Annie got up and left. "I'm curious too, you know?" 

"She hasn't said anything?" Armin asked, drawing attention to where he and his two best friends were leaving the building. Mina shook her head. 

"She came on that first night a few days ago, said she was tired, and went to sleep." Mina relayed to the curiosity of her peers. She looked down into her bowl, which was mostly empty now. "When we woke up, she wasn't there. Since then, she hasn't been back." 

"I think I'd like to have a talk with her myself." Jean crossed his arms, suddenly pissed off. "Find out what all this crap is really about." 

"Jean, please don't go picking fights." Marco sighed as Armin and the others left the canteen. "Especially with girls, and especially when they're only a few days into the academy." 

"She'd tear you a new one Jean-boy." Reiner grinned when Jean bristled, standing up alongside Bertholdt. They too were planning on heading back to the barracks. "Actually, go ahead and pick a fight, I might like to see that." 

"She's the next Annie, I tell you." Connie smiled, a glazed look in his eyes. "A natural."

"Or the next Mikasa." Jean said hotly in reply, standing up as well. "Not that one is any better than the other," he added, eyeing the blonde girl across the isle. 

"Or the next Mikasa." The close-shaven boy allowed, and began chatting with Marco, who'd yet to finish his food as well. 

From the outside, you could hear Connie and Marco (and later, some boy named Franz) continue to converse. Smiling and giving a contented hum, you simply leaned back to enjoy the darkness and the noise coming from the inside of the canteen. From the shadows, you could see the boys you know knew as 'Jean' and 'Reiner' walk with Bertholdt back to their barracks for the night. 

Jean had technically been right, he _had_ been one of the first to arrive when dinner started, but you'd already been in the canteen. Rather, in the kitchens behind the canteen, where you'd offered to take over a fellow cadet's shift cooking the food. Just a bit ago, you'd helped yourself to a small bowl of soup and half a small loaf of bread. The other half was tucked in your left breast pocket, in a napkin. 

You supposed you should be headed out soon. Back to your bunk, which you actually loathed sleeping on (or that's what you told yourself). You might have to, tonight, or at least use your blanket, feeling how cold it was. Sighing, you got up and began walking towards the girl's cabin, taking the long way, around the back so that nobody could tell where you'd been, even if they saw. You didn't feel like losing any part of your privacy just yet. Not even something as small as the places you retreated to when you wanted to be alone. 

_"Hi! I'm Mina Carolina!" A brunet girl with pigtails had greeted you brightly as you walked in, that first night. Lifting your head, you saw that several of the girls– no,_ all _of them were looking in your direction. "I have the bedding for your bunk. Shadis gave it to me earlier."_

_The bedding was placed in your arms, and you tried to muster a smile to the girl as she directed you toward the only empty bed, a bottom bunk in the corner of the room. A girl occupied the top bunk, though the only part of her you could see was her leg which hung down over the edge, and a bit of light brown hair._

_"Thank you."_

_"You know, we're all kind of wondering how you even got here." Another girl, this time with reddish hair said from across the room. She was dressed in a nightgown and already sitting on her bed. "I'm Sasha, by the way! Not to be rude or anything, we're just really curious how it's possible that-"_

_"I'm tired." You threw the bedding onto the bed, which, you found, was creaky and slightly stained in one corner. Sitting down, then laying down, you faced the wall and tried to block out any noise._

_"O...kay." Mina responded from behind you, among the silence that had fallen over the cabin. "Goodnight."_

_Wishing they'd turn out the lights soon, you closed your eyes against a headache that had started just as you'd walked in the door. It was a long while after that, long after the other girls had fallen asleep, that sleep finally came to you. Exhausted, your troubled mind had fallen into darkness just a few hours before the break of dawn, jacket still zipped and boots still laced on your feet._

What a nightmare that had been, you thought. Not because of the girls...you were sure they were lovely. Or, that most of them were. It was _you._ You were the nightmare. 

You opened your mouth just before you reached the door, intending to give some sort of greeting to the girls on the inside. However, none were paying any attention to the door, as they all sat in one corner of the room, talking animatedly. You closed your mouth, a bit relieved.

Well, that made the decision for you, didn't it?

"Did you need to ask something?" A blonde girl asked quietly as you walked towards your bed. Oh, so not everyone was immersed in the conversation across the room. 

"No." You replied, and went to your bed, this time methodically unlacing your boots and placing them beside the bed, along with your small pouch of personal care products. The girl's bunk appeared only to be one down from yours. "But thanks for asking."

As you took out a few things from your pockets (like the bread, you didn't want that to make a mess) and placed your boots at the foot of the bed, you contemplated trying to make conversation with one of the other girls. That was part of the reason you were here, wasn't it? 

"Hey." Someone chimed in from across the room and you looked up. The rest of the girls sat in the other corner, some glancing your way, but the conversation had mostly kept going. 

It was Mina Carolina. The girl you'd just overheard talking to the boys at the canteen. She'd expressed an interest in you earlier, as well as the first time you met her. She said she'd been curious. 

"...Hi." You straightened and tried for a smile, attempting to lighten your expression. One hand raised to pinch a stray lock of hair between your thumb and forefinger in a subconscious habit, rubbing the ends together lightly. "You'll have to forgive my rudeness the last time we met. I'm _______ _______." 

She shook your hand, looking gently pleased, even a bit excited. Most of the girls had fallen into a hush across the room, listening intently. 

"I'm Mina, if you didn't remember." She gave a bright smile. "I thought you were great on the training grounds today!" 

"Thanks." 

"You were kick-ass!" One of the other girls said, punching a fist in the air. "I totally need to learn those moves! Most of the boys think they have the drop on us girls, but you were amazing!"

"Well, it counts toward our grade doesn't it?" You asked in response, and, to your surprise, several of the girls gave little sounds of uncertainty, making so-so motions with their hands. 

"Not really. It's important that we learn the basics, but beyond that, any advancement doesn't count toward our final grade." Mina shrugged, then came to stand next to your bed. "Can I sit?" 

"Sure." 

"I don't mean to pry, but..." The girl who had spoken enthusiastically just moments ago came to stand by the bed as well, and the two of you already sitting down quickly made room for her. "That is...we've all kinda been wondering..." 

"Hannah, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it." Mina chided quietly, giving the girl a look from where she sat in the middle of you two. 

"I've had a bit of military training prior to this." You answered anyway, seeming to take the group of girls by surprise, who blinked up at you; you were also surprised to see that some of the others had sat on the floor near your bed. No, you really _didn't_ want to talk about it, but it was evident that they all wanted to know. "Which is why I was allowed to enter the academy so late. I need the technical training to gain an official title within the military, so that's why I'm here." 

"That's....weird." You blinked at the other girl sitting on your bed. As though she just realized what she said, she blushed and waved her hands, trying to dissipate any tension. "I mean in a good way! Sorta! I've never heard anything like that before! Also, I'm Hannah!" 

"It's nice to meet you." 

"So you're actually ahead of us, huh? Or at least on par with our training?" Mina said thoughtfully, then looked to you with another smile. "That really was awesome earlier. Just so you know, there's this boy named Jean who might try to fight you tomorrow, (there was a collective groan at this, as well as a few laughs) but don't worry, I won't let him touch you. I doubt any of the other boys will want him trying to rough you up either." 

Hearing this brought a genuine smile to your face, and you gave a small chuckle. "I'm not worried. If he wants to fight, I'm fine with it. It's been a while since I've actually fought someone who could challenge me." 

"Ooh, we might need to pit you against Annie or Mikasa then." The girl from earlier, Ymir, said as she looked down at you from her top bunk– so that's who'd been lying up there that first day. You recognized those names, but couldn't put faces to them. "Or maybe our girl Christa might wanna take a swing at you." 

"Ymir! Be nice!" Someone said lightly from within the group of girls crowded around your bed. You located the source of the voice as belonging to a small blonde girl with big blue eyes. 

"You're right." Ymir yawned, eyeing you before she retreated back onto her bed with a heavy flop, making dust rain down on you from above. "Any one of us could probably tear her apart easy. Winning against that idiot Connie or that huge sofa-mat Bertholdt doesn't mean anything." 

"Quit trying to make her feel bad! It's only her first week!" 'Christa' whisper-yelled at the top bunk, looking at you apologetically. Meanwhile, you gazed up at the top bunk, shaking some dust off your face. 

"Not everyone just wants to see you fight." Mina rolled her dark eyes. "Though some people might make it seem that way." 

"It's alright." You shrugged, keeping your tone light. "I'm kinda used to it." 

Things settled down a bit after that, and the sheets Mina had given you that first night were finally placed on your bed. When you finally settled down, you had trouble getting comfortable. Placing your arms under your head and staring up at the top bunk, you knew you were in for another long night. 

The next morning lived up to your expectations– and became a pain in the ass very quickly. 

"What do you mean you don't know the lay of the land?!" Your eye twitched. How many different ways could you say it? 

"I'm relatively new to the corps, sir. I haven't been out on the ODM course once since my arrival, and I'd like to ask permission to practice during my off-hours, sir." 

"Off-hours, huh?" The Commandant sneered, crowding in close to you. You took a deep breath and held it, feeling the redness of your eyes, the bags underneath. You felt like you'd already taken as much as you could take, and the sun hadn't even risen into the sky other than a sliver of orange on the horizon. "I don't know what classes your taking, Missy, but had _I_ come into this academy three years late, I'd be hard pressed to find even a second to breathe lightly, let along enjoy off-hours!!" There was rage in his eyes. "What do you think I'm running here?" 

"An...academy, sir?" You asked blandly, blinking tiredly in the morning light, and abruptly felt yourself being tugged up by the front of your jacket. 

"Why, you smart-mouthed–" 

"Commandant Shadis." A pleasant voice spoke from behind you, and you let yourself hang there, suspended in mid-air by your jacket front. A gray-haired man stood smiling, just inside the doorway to Shadis' quarters, holding a stack of papers. He must've been who Shadis had been talking to before you'd knocked. 

"Miss _______ is doing remarkably well for her first week on site. She's spent the majority of the last few days auditing classes in the main building and taking exams meant for first year cadets." The older man gave a kind smile behind your back, though you could sort of see it in the reflection of Shadis' hateful irises, if you squinted. "She's advancing at an unprecedented rate." 

"Is that right?" Shadis' dark eyes shifted to your half-lidded ones. "Remarkable. Unprecedented..." He seemed to decide something. "Then, I expect you to be fully functional on the Omnidirectional Maneuver gear by this time next week or I'm dropping you from this academy." 

Then, he dropped you to the ground, where you fell in an exhausted, dusty heap; one leg outstretched and the other bent at the knee. Your hands scraped the ground in what had been a non-attempt to steady yourself before your head hit the ground, and you could feel the new cuts stinging. As the sun rose over the horizon and hit your sensitive irises, you began to think it would've been best to just let yourself hit your head. 

"Now, Keith..." Cals gave a nervous grin, giving you an apologetic and worried eye as the Head Instructor stalked past him into the small house. "I don't think that's quite fair. Usually, it takes students a minimal of three weeks to one month to even be able to function on the ODM properly." 

"It took Ackerman and Kirschtein one week of forest training to master the ODM." Shadis eyed you sideways before he spit on the ground next to you. "If this little girl wants to graduate in one year's time, she needs to complete the task I've given her." 

You picked yourself up off the ground, then. Dusted yourself off, and caught sight of something vaguely golden ducking behind the corner of the Commandant's quarters. You straightened into a salute then as Shadis turned to face you completely. 

"Don't disappoint your instructor!!" The intimidating man roared, and you gave the heartiest "Yes, Sir!" that you could manage. 

Once he and Cals had gone into the house once more and you had flopped back onto the dirt in a dejected pile, you wondered if whoever was behind the house was going to come out. Maybe they were hoping you hadn't seen them. That was probably it. Sighing, you got up and began making your way towards the canteen, deciding you didn't want to confront anyone on their nosiness just yet. 

By the time lunch rolled around, you were dead on your feet. Well, not stamina-wise, the tiredness was more of the mental sort. Again, you didn't feel as hungry as you thought you should have, taking small, slow spoonfuls of the stew you'd been given. The same stew, every night with little variation. The other cadets must've been sick of it after all this time. 

So immersed within your thoughts were you that you didn't notice a boy standing up and walking in your direction from another table, tray in hand. Several eyes followed his progress to your table, where he hovered just across from you. 

"Can I sit?" Someone asked, and you looked up from your plate. It was Jean. 

"Knock yourself out." You replied, eating another spoonful of the stew and then coughing as it went down wrong. Covering your mouth quickly, you took a drink of water and reminded yourself to be more careful in the future. You didn't want to ruin someone's lunch by coughing all over them. 

"Cool." He sat down across from you, smiling in such a manner that might've rubbed you the wrong way if you hadn't found it slightly endearing. Irritating, maybe, if taken in large doses, but endearing nonetheless. "So, can I ask you something?" 

"Decided to be a gentleman about it and talk to me face-to-face?" You chuckled briefly, not really looking at him, but at the reflection of him in your spoon. "I heard you wanted to beat me up." 

"I would never just beat anyone up...well, unless they're Jaeger." Jean smiled, a slow, practiced grin as he held out a hand. "In any case, we haven't formally met. Jean Kirchtein. I currently rank fifth in our 104th trainee class." 

"My name is _______ _______." You nodded, taking his hand briefly, then pushing away your tray. You'd been about to pinch a piece of your hair between you fingers out of habit before you stopped yourself. "I don't think I have a rank yet." 

"Well, if word is to be believed, you're soon to be one of the best. Top ten, even." His eyes sharpened. Jean looked older when serious, more like a man than a boy. "Tell me, how can that be?" 

"I have somewhat of a military background." You answered simply, a bored look on your face as you eyed some of the other tables, and observed (slightly relieved) that most of the fascination over your arrival had died down. "If you've talked to some of the girls from my barrack, you'll have already heard that." Probably. They seemed like a nice group of girls, but you wouldn't put it past them to gossip over the conversation the night before. "I've never actually been to a military training camp before this last week." 

"So they just let you in?" Jean asked, every part of him giving away a barely contained anger. "That doesn't make any sense. Do you have connections with the higher-ups, or what?" 

"You could say that." 

"Jean, don't interrogate the girl. Shadis was a complete jackass to her today." Connie said, sitting down next to you, then straightening up and quickly waving his hands in a placating sort of way. You eyed him curiously. "Well that's what I would think anyway! Not that I seen it happen or anything!" 

"I know." You stated simply and smiled. "The Arlert boy was the one who seen it happen. It wasn't that big of a deal. Could've turned out worse, really." 

There was a collective silence as everyone at the quickly-filling table looked over to another table in the corner of the room, three cadets sat alone. 

"Uh..." Connie was scratching the back of his buzz-cut, trying his best not to look sheepish, but failing fantastically. "I don't think he meant to tell everyone, I just overheard...on accident...." 

"That happens a lot." You smiled, shrugging. You'd been listening to everyone's dinner conversations for the majority of the last week. "It's okay. It happened, it's over." Then, you looked directly at Connie, making the boy go stiff once more. "Anyway, I'm sorry about yesterday. I don't have the social skills I used to, and I might've gone a little hard on you." 

"It's alright." Connie blushed at the apology, lower lip sticking out a bit as he looked away. Across the table, Jean smirked at Connie, while Marco smiled at the exchange from the seat next to him. 

"You were trying to help me, so thanks." You smiled brightly. "Hey, do you want any of my food? I'm about done with it." 

"Really? But you barely ate anything!" Connie exclaimed, bashfulness forgotten as he looked at the almost-full bowl of soup, and the entire loaf of bread that still sat on your plate. 

"I had some of the stew...and I ate breakfast." 

"Well that settles that, does it?" Jean asked sarcastically, then eyed your tray, picking up your bowl. "Well, if your not going to eat this–" 

"Hey, hands off! She offered it to me!" Connie grabbed at the bowl and you leant back as he reached across the table. 

"Guys!" Marco interjected. "I think she should keep it! _______, you can't just not eat! You'll get weak and sick!" 

All three boys looked at you, as well as two others further down the table, Reiner and Bertholdt. You shook your head and noted somewhere in the back of your mind that Marco was a sweetheart. An odd pair, those two; Marco seemed as kind as Jean was crass. 

"I've never eaten much. Besides, I'll eat dinner later." You smiled, and pushed the loaf of bread toward Connie. "Go ahead, eat it." 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah." 

"Sweet! Thanks!" He grabbed the bread and threw an arm around your shoulders, despite Marco's protesting murmurs. "My new best friend!" 

"So, is what I hear true?" Jean asked, having dumped your bowl of soup into his. "Shadis told you to master using the ODM in one week or you wash out?" 

"Yeah, it's true." You nodded, taking the final sips of your water. "Your name's Kirschtein, right?" 

"Yeah. So?" Jean asked, eyebrow raised. 

"The Commandant said you mastered the Omnidirectional Maneuver gear in a week." You smiled pleasantly, brightening a bit when you saw him preen at the comment. 

"That's right." Jean boasted, obnoxious voice drawing the attention of a few other cadets from different tables. "Sorry, but I wouldn't get your hopes up, honey. Privileged hotshot or not, we all start off at the bottom, and not everyone can be the best." 

"I'm sure that's very true. I'm glad you think that way." You chuckled, much to the confusion and budding amusement of the other boys at the table (who weren't used to anyone taking Jean's attitude so well). You stood up, tray in hand as you prepared to head out of the hall. After placing your tray on the dirty rack, you paused by the table on your way out. 

"We'll have to see how well I do this week, won't we? It's been a while since I've used the ODM for anything other than...well, anyway, I knew it was part of training, but I didn't expect to have to excel at it in such a short period of time." 

"That's right you didn't." Jean nodded, smirk in place and eyes closed. "I'd wish you luck, but– hey, wait a sec!" His amber eyes snapped open to narrow at your retreating back. "What? You've used ODM before? The only place your _allowed_ to use the ODM in practice is within a military camp. Hey, I'm talking to you!" 

"It was nice meeting you!" 

"That kid." Jean muttered, watching you walk away. Even if he hadn't been so straightforward with his opinions, it was written all over his face how unfair he thought the situation was. "Well...there's a chance she won't make it into the top ten either way." 

"Yeah, a _slim_ chance." Sasha snorted as she sat down next to Connie. More cadets were filing in from daytime classes and activities now. "I didn't catch much of that conversation, but she didn't look particularly phased by the whole ODM situation." 

"Does everyone know about what happened this morning? Jeez Connie, how big is your mouth?" Jean grumbled, put off. Then, he had a pleasant thought and grinned as he too prepared to leave the mess hall. "She'll never secure a spot ahead of _me_... but on the bright side, she might just overtake Jaeger. Not like he ever deserved sixth place anyway." The boy with the two-toned hair sighed wistfully. "I wouldn't be completely unhappy with that." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now guys....I know. I _know_ we haven't met our precious Eren yet, and I apologize. In all honesty, the fact that Eren wasn't in this chapter didn't register with me until the very end, and I realized 'hey, we haven't met Eren yet!' but also, this chapter got a lot of things out of the way. As Eren isn't our character's _sole_ reason for living (yet), I didn't want to rush things and have them meet just for the sake of meeting and have the whole thing be forced, unmemorable and flat. 
> 
> To me, it seems more likely that people like Jean, Connie, Ymir and some of the others would be the ones all up in our business first, so it makes sense to me that they would likewise meet first. I mean, can you imagine canon Eren, Mikasa and Armin badgering the new girl for personal information, and for no apparent reason? :D I can't. 
> 
> Remember, this is a slow burn, multi-chapter story, so we do have time! I don't want anything to feel too rushed or ingenuine (though there will inevitably be some time-skips ahead, because obviously I can't write every day of every month until graduation and beyond). I think this chapter turned out to be...4,300+ words? Around there? I'll try to make it longer next time. As always, you'll have to forgive and point out any grammatical errors or other mistakes on my part. I try my best but I often overlook the little things. 
> 
> I hope everyone's being safe! Be kind to yourself! :D Expect chapter four within the week.


	4. Facets of Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your interactions with fellow cadets go just as expected...or, maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy October!!! :D 
> 
> So sorry for the long wait, dear anyone-who-follows-this-story, I haven't forgotten this work, or my other work in the slightest!! It just took me a while to work out the end of this one, and I'm STILL so unsure about it. Thank you, _Thank you_ to the lovely readers who commented on the previous chapters, your comments honestly make me want to write so much more. :) 
> 
> [General Public Announcement from Lady Hatake]  
> I _am_ working on my other story. It's just that writer's blocked fucked me over just a little concerning 'Just Wait and See' so if, by chance, you follow that story, the wait should be over soon. xx

"Damn it." 

You growled, attempting and failing once more to land your right ODM hook in the exact area you wanted it. Instead, it landed about a foot and a half away from your intended target. Granted, you'd only been at it for an hour or so after taking a solid forty-five minutes to perfect your balance and swinging technique. 

It had been a while. Almost three years since the last time you'd had the liberty of swinging through the trees like this. All things considered, you were doing pretty well after only a couple of hours, and more surprising than that was how.... _happy_ it made you feel. 

It had been nearly three years since you had felt the freedom of...flying. That's what it felt like, while you were up there in the air. One with the wind and rain. It made the restraints of your body become nonexistent, made a space open up in your abdomen and become weightless. It made everything around you seem so small, even your troubles. In your entire life, you'd never felt anything like it.

Your face, hands, and any other area not covered with fabric, were chilled from the morning air. It was still early in the spring, not to mention that a slight breeze had begun blowing from the west– the dew and other moisture that clung to the branches and leaves now splattered against your skin. It had also rained lightly in the darker hours of the morning, making everything wet and muddy on the forest floor. The rain was beginning to pick up again, making you even more damp than you already were. 

Making your way to the tallest tree branches, you observed the tiny water droplets glittering on your skin like refined jewels in the sunlight. Everything around you was very much in vivid definition in the early morning rays, which washed everything in an orangish glow. 

Looking down through the branches, you caught sight of movement in the slowly brightening distance, and halted your practice. You didn't know why, but something was telling you not to be seen just yet– you felt it quietly, subtly. Maybe those approaching on the path were intruders? No one but the cadet corps and military personnel were authorized to be on the training grounds, and as far as you knew, only you had permission to be out in this area alone. 

Then you saw who was walking on the path. 

"Oh." You murmured, relaxing a bit. You wondered briefly if you should drop down and say hello. "Bertholdt and Reiner..." 

You shifted your fingers just the slightest bit on the triggers of your ODM controls, feeling the tension in the strong cables keeping you suspended. However, you made no move to approach the two cadets. They appeared to be making their way back toward the base. 

You considered yourself to be on friendly terms with both boys, but from the looks on their faces, you thought it best not to disturb them. They seemed to be locked in an ongoing but serious conversation, shoulders and expressions tense. You briefly considered announcing yourself just to let them know they were no longer alone– but from this distance, it was impossible to make out what was being said even if you wanted to eavesdrop. You couldn't even hear their footsteps from this far up. 

So, you waited until they were long out of sight and earshot before resuming your practice. You wondered for a moment what they were doing way out here, over a kilometer away from camp, at...just after five in the morning? There was no training schedules for the cadets on this trail, and besides, everyone at camp would just now be waking up. 

You didn't concern yourself with it, figuring the two just needed some alone time– together, it seemed. You supposed everyone needed some alone time every once in a while...you yourself required it often. Dismissing the encounter, you kept practicing for another half-hour before making your way back toward camp for your early morning training. You skipped breakfast. As it was, you had run a little later than you thought, but made it just in time to avoid a chewing-out from Shadis. 

The warm-ups and morning drills seemed to take almost no time at all after putting away your gear. Your mind was elsewhere. Luckily, your movements required little thought. 

"Pick up those knees, Braus!" Shadis yelled from the top of the bleachers, surrounded by panting, sweaty cadets running up and down the stairs and seats at varying speeds. "Arlert, if you want to leave this academy worth _anything_ , you need to _move faster_!!! Longer strides! Two at a time!! Damn daphodil." 

You ignored the burning in your legs and lungs and kept running. Launching yourself up the wooden bleachers and then down, over and over again, not once letting up. Not fluctuating in your speed, never slowing. You ignored whatever Shadis might've been saying to you, instead focusing on keeping your footing on the slightly slippery planks. 

It was raining outside, and you'd taken shelter in one of the indoor training rooms, one built almost like a theatre. The room consisted of almost nothing but wooden bleachers, and a few high windows which allowed a great view of lightning streaking across the dark skies. Just like the skies, your attitude, or at least your internal one, had turned gray and dull. 

The day had shown such promise earlier...

Suddenly, very suddenly, you felt your left foot slipping from some kind of impact– and caught yourself just before you would've bit down hard on a dirty, wooden plank.

"Ah! Ouch!" Someone was groaning, from somewhere below (where you would've ended up, had you not caught yourself). "Oww....sorry...damn it..." 

"Watch it, Wagner!" Shadis yelled from somewhere unseen. Several cadets had stopped momentarily, seemingly in concern, before continuing with worried, guilty looks. As for you, you were ready to brush yourself off and continue your reps, until you caught sight of him. 

The one who'd (presumably) slipped and fallen was a blonde cadet, with short, spiky hair and prominent sideburns. He had slate green eyes, and what might've been a kind face if it hadn't been screwed up in pain. The blonde cadet apologized again in that same pained voice and then swore as Shadis screamed at him to walk it off. You had been no more than a few steps up the bleachers to continue the exercise when you found yourself turning around and making your way back down. 

"Ow." The boy sat up from his fallen position and then lied back on the bleachers, flinching in surprise (and probably pain) when you offered a hand. Staring at it for a moment, he glanced toward Shadis, who was conveniently turned away from the two of you, and quickly grabbed your hand, pulling himself up.

"...You okay?" You asked quietly after a moment of watching him grab at his leg. 

"Let's hope so." The boy groaned, both hands over an apparent sore area just below the knee. "If this is broken, I'm done for." 

"I don't think it's broken." You murmured, but silently agreeing with the boy. If the bone were fractured, that would probably equal more than a month of bed rest (you didn't actually know the correct protocol for such an event, but you assumed it wouldn't be kind to the cadet). "Let's see."

"Wait, wait! What- ah!" The blonde bit his lip hard as you gently pressed down on either side of the shinbone (or tibia) in his leg. "Ow!" 

"I know it hurts," You smiled gently, using your thumbs to feel the bone he'd been talking about, through the military-issued cargo bottoms. "But generally, you'd be screaming and pushing me away if anything were broken. I don't think you have anything to worry about...it's probably just bruised." 

"Wagner." Shadis growled from somewhere nearby and the boy jumped. You quickly let go of his leg and placed your hands at your sides as casually as you could as you stood up. "What appears to be the problem here?!" 

"N-nothing Commandant...sir!" The cadet, Wagner, grunted as he pulled himself to his feet. You thought it best not to assist him, and instead stepped to the side and continued your exercise. 

You could hear the instructor barking something at Cadet Wagner, and then at someone else– soon after your dull orbs caught sight of the blonde boy, along with another cadet exiting the building. You almost thought the trip to the infirmary would've been worse than just staying in the training building. The walk to the medic cabin would be ten minutes at least, more in the rain, and even longer given that Cadet Wagner would inevitably drag the pace due to his leg. 

You stared out the high, rectangular windows as you completed your exercise; up, down and back up the bleachers, sometimes stepping on each wooden bench and sometimes skipping one and using your leg muscles more. After a while, exercise of any kind became dull and repetitive; though you still sweat and breathed a little shorter, your previously burning lungs and legs had settled into an equilibrium that hardly affected you at all. 

The rain was still here, and your dull mood was still adrift in your chest, but the meeting with the Wagner boy, however short, had seemed to...lift your spirits a bit. Just like the short talk with the boys in the canteen the day before had made you lighter and given you something to think about at night. God knew you couldn't sleep, no matter how much you wanted to. You always managed to fall asleep just a couple hours before the wake-up call, and sometimes (like the previous night) you didn't sleep at all due to needing the early-morning practice. 

You hadn't meant to turn back and help the blonde kid. Just like you hadn't meant to even speak to Jean, Connie or any of the others the previous day. Really, it'd be best to just focus on passing all your classes and tests. Focus on making it to graduation, and then...

"Sir! I ask permission to assist Cadet Wagner on his way to the infirmary." You requested, stood straight with your fist-to-chest salute, unflinching as Shadis turned to sneer at you. 

"What about your reps, cadet? This exercise isn't easy, and you don't look ready to fall over dead yet." 

You said nothing, and just waited for a real answer; that is, until you asked, "Should I instead take another fifty reps, sir?" 

"If you're not back in ten, it's your ass, you stoic idiot." The Commandant threatened, saying no more as he turned on his heel to scream at some other unfortunate cadet. Arlert, who had also fallen into another cadet on the way down, both of whom were now sprawled across the wooden floor in a heap. 

You wasted no time heading out into the rain, and spotting the two cadets who had left the training building no less than five minutes before. They were little more than a smudge of dark gray in the distance, and you hurried to catch up to them. 

"Sorry." Wagner was saying, heaving breaths as he leaned heavily against the other cadet, who was brunet, and quite a bit shorter than the blonde boy. "I'm trying, it just–" 

"Damn, you must've hit your leg pretty hard." An even, somewhat soft voice responded as they both bent down, not yet aware of your presence. 

"A little bed rest and you should be fine." You commented over the sound of rain, making your presence known to the other two, who turned to look your way. You jogged the rest of the way towards them, and took Wagner's arm, placing it around your shoulders without much preamble. "But we should get moving. The Commandant said I only have ten minutes to get back." 

"Yeah? Or what?" The brunet on the other side of Wagner asked, and you shrugged. 

"I'd rather not think about it." 

"Yeah, ditto." The cadet agreed. "Let's just get this clumsy giant to the infirmary, or we'll be the next ones getting injured, in all this mud." 

"H-Hey!" Wagner defended himself weakly, and the other cadet chuckled softy. 

"Sorry, Thomas, but it's kinda true." 

Together, the three of you made it to the infirmary in just over five minutes. By the time you'd reached the medic tent, all three of you were soaked to the bone, muddy and freezing from the combination of the cold rain and the chilly wind. Seeing as Cadet Wagner, or 'Thomas' was now being overseen by a medic, you turned to leave– but just as you did so, the blonde called out, "Wait!" 

Surprised, you turned around and eyed both Wagner and the brunet boy, who, you noticed, has quite the pair of deep blue eyes. Then, you recognized him; he was one of the cadets you'd encountered several times on your first walk through the camp and the classes. You'd seen him after that first day as well, but hadn't paid him much attention...if you recalled correctly, he was usually attached at the hip to Cadet Arlert, and a girl with black hair and slanted eyes. 

Irritable, excitable, and loud-mouthed. Not exactly as irritable and egotistical as Jean, and not as excitable as Connie, but...

What did it matter, anyway? Really, he was–

"Are...are you okay? _______?" 

You were jarred out of your thoughts by Cadet Wagner, who appeared to be trying to gain your attention. From the gentle increase in volume from the cadet, you guessed that he might've been talking to you well before you'd been prepared to listen. Shaking your head slightly, and taking in his flushed features, you turned all the way around to face him once more. 

Both boys were giving you a funny look, but when you turned, Wagner sat a little straighter and his shoulders tensed. 

"I was just saying...thank you. You know, for...helping me, earlier." His cheeks got a bit redder, noticeably; this time, you didn't think it was from the cold. "And for helping us get to the infirmary. Thanks." 

"No problem." You reached over to grab a clean towel from the inside of an open cupboard and walked forward the few steps it took to reach his bedside. Then you handed him the towel, much to his surprise. "You should change out of your wet clothes." 

"B-but...what about you guys? You're cold too." He seemed to realize that you and the other cadet would soon need to return to the training building, and sighed. "Anyway, what would I change into?" 

You thought about it, and held a brief notion of maybe taking off your training jacket and giving him the standard gray tunic underneath, but some small part of you that understood social relations reminded you of the general problem you three would face. Most people were uncomfortable with nudity...yourself included, honestly, but for slightly different reasons other than just the shyness factor. 

"Then dry off. Might as well, while your sitting here. You won't be returning to class today." You turned on your heel once more, and, once more, you were stopped. This time, by a hand on your wrist. 

You looked back curiously and Wagner immediately let go, looking horrified with himself. 

"I'm sorry!" He blurted, holding his hands out in a placating gesture, though he hadn't done anything wrong. "I-I'm Wagner. Thomas Wagner. We haven't properly met...that's all." 

You felt a handshake would be too formal or awkward. In retrospect, what you did next was probably the more unusual option, but you found yourself placing a hand on his arm. Just above his elbow, lightly. An acknowledgement. 

"_______." You replied, and offered him a discreet smile. "_______ _______. I'm glad we've met." 

You probably had less than a minute now to get back to the training hall, or be thoroughly chewed and spit out by Shadis, so you didn't wait for anymore interaction before you turned and left. As quick as you could without bolting, at least until you got out the door, back into the pouring rain. 

You didn't really give a second thought to the brunet back in the infirmary, except maybe to wonder if he was as curious as his blonde friend, Arlert. You reached the training area in the nick of time, only to haul out yet another cadet who'd got herself injured– a concussion. You and another cadet hauled the unconscious girl into the infirmary on a cloth stretcher, before Shadis insisted that the whole class take it outside to take ten laps around the entire camp. After that, it was dinner time. 

The ten laps were over with quickly– for you, at least, as well as Bertholdt (who'd finished just ahead of you), a girl named Annie, and Reiner Braun– whom you knew of, but hadn't really spoken to yet. Nonetheless, he and a few others were quickly becoming familiar faces. Ymir had finished just minutes after yourself, and so had Jean.

"Hey!" Someone called out to you as you left the dining hall. You'd taken your small loaf of bread and had taken a bite while you headed out of the dining hall. "_______! Where are you going? You're not gonna have dinner?" 

Glancing back over your shoulder, you seen a warm, freckled face waving at you from a table near the back. Hesitating, you wondered if you could just keep walking and just ignore him. That thought quickly fled, however, as his dark eyes brightened at the brief glance you gave him, and he once more called out, asking you to join him at an open end of one of the quickly-filling tables. Beside him, Jean scowled at the display, obviously pissed off about something or another. As usual.

Well...what the hell?

"Didn't plan on eating again, huh?" Jean asked as you sat down across from him. "What's the matter with you? You have some kind of a problem?" 

"Jean." Marco sighed, shooting you an apologetic look. You'd planed on letting anyone have first grabs on your stew, but...maybe he had a point. 

Taking another bite of your bread, you reached with a slightly weak hand to the spoon next to your bowl and took a spoonful of stew. Glancing down briefly at your red knuckles, littered with nicks and bruises, and your shaky fingers, you pulled your other hand under the table. 

"Not at all." You answered, lying through your teeth. Undeterred, you asked casually, "What's your problem Jean?" 

"Hngh. Same old." Jean replied dismissively, eying you with those rich, amber orbs from the corner of his eye. His eyelashes were dark, and almost resting upon his knuckles as he leaned his head on one fist. "Keeping an eye on the ranks, is all. Easy as climbing a damn staircase, apparently." 

"Don't mind him." Marco waved a hand lightly in front of his chest with an uneasy look. "Someone else got into the top ten today, and Jean doesn't agree with it." 

"Did your place get taken?" You asked, surprise widening your eyes a fraction, and Jean threw you a haughty look. 

"Of course not. I've still got fifth place locked in." A small smile, more of a grimace than anything, graced Jean's lips. "Eighth month so far, and it hasn't gone anywhere. Marco here holds seventh, after Jaeger." 

The two-toned boy then let out a sound of disgust and Marco shook his head, smiling. 

"I don't care what place I take, as long as it's in the top ten." Marco shrugged, then chuckled sheepishly at your questioning look. "I'm aiming for military police, so..." 

"Really?" You asked, placing your spoon next to your forgotten food as someone else sat just to your left. You were receiving all types of surprises today. "That's surprising. You don't seem like the type." 

"H-huh?" Marco asked, and you didn't understand the expression on his face, then. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes tensed a little, a frown glancing suddenly across his mouth. Jean also glanced at you sharply from the corner of his eye once more, still in that same angsty position. "Really? What do you mean by that?" 

"Ah...nothing." You shook your head, numb suddenly, with a sinking feeling in your stomach. You barley knew this sweet boy across from you, yet you could tell that he _was_ sweet. Sincere. Kind...and the thought of him, among the actual military police, when they weren't putting up a front...

In that moment, didn't feel like eating anymore, even though you'd barely had two bites since you sat down. Just then, you could see from your peripherals, the person who'd sat down to your left turn towards you, but you were already in the process of standing up. 

"Hi. We didn't really–"

"I'm gonna head out." You stood to your full height, stepping over the bench of the table, and tucking the remaining half of your bread into your breast pocket, inside a cloth napkin. "Anyone want this?" You didn't wait for an answer, nor did you really want one; simply pushed the bowl towards the center of the table a bit, and went to place your tray on the dirty rack. Eyeing the entrance to the mess hall, you noted that you'd only been in the building a total of maybe seven minutes. It had felt a lot longer than that. 

Unzipping your coat in preparation to begin training, you headed out into the rain.

Which hadn't eased or slowed in the least but nearly assaulted the ground with heavy raindrops, which also whipped in the wind at your face and hands. Both of which were beginning to turn pale red from the cold and effort of practicing.

It wasn't as though the ODM was hard to control...maybe you just had a lot on your mind. Plus, the trees in these parts were smooth, soft and now slick with rainwater, sometimes making the grappling device slip. You knew at the end of your session, you'd need to dry and treat your gear with oil to keep it from rusting. More effort than coming out here was worth, maybe, but truthfully, you'd rather be out here than anywhere else. 

You felt a little bad thinking that, since there were so many people back at the base who were obviously really nice, and just looking for conversation– but after your brief chat with Marco and Jean, you didn't feel like socializing much. It became apparent the more you trained, however, that escaping the social scene was a mute point. 

Tilting your head in a direction you'd yet to explore due to the dense leaves and tree limbs, you paused in your tracks. You'd just been taking a rest from the ODM, trying to brush off the faint sensations of vertigo, when you thought you heard something. Like a murmur. Looking in that direction, however, you saw nothing. 

Rolling your shoulders, you kept walking, stretching your legs and arms, pulling a tense bicep across your chest with the other arm. If there was anyone else on the path, it mattered little. If it was anyone wanting to hurt you, they would regret it...and if it were petty criminals trying to sneak into camp, it still wasn't any of your concern. Stepping off the wet, sinking path and into some tall grass, you began walking away from the main path. Just to see if you could envoke any kind of response from the trees nearby.

Truth being told, you already had an idea of who it was.

Taking your time, you made your way across large, jutting roots, across a fallen tree and in between some large boulders next to a stream. You walked in that direction for a while, before making a curve back to the general vicinity of the training path. Aiming your grappling hook at a tree a dozen yards away and pulling the trigger on your right blade handle, you observed the miniature combustion from within the ODM. The unwinding of the cable took less than a moment, and with another simple pressure of your index knuckle, you were barreling towards the tree, steam erupting from its exhaust vent near the small of your back.

What odd devices these were, you thought, aiming in quick succession for several other trees, and landing your mark each time; pulling and swinging yourself along smoothly. This was going even better than a few years back, when you'd first tried the omnidirectional maneuver gear...then again, you'd never expected to be training to fight _Titan's_ with it. Another odd thought, seeing as the gear was created for that exact reason.

Training for another few minutes, working on your aim and balance in order to achieve the smoothness of motion you wanted, you almost forgot about the other person (or people) in the forest. Discreet as they might have been, the nagging feeling that you had eyes on you at all times would not go away; you were sure there was at least one person watching you. It was several minutes of pouring rain, quickly firing cables and practicing the Titan-staying motions with your empty blade handles, that you heard it.

_Snap._

Feeling satisfaction despite yourself at the tell-tale noise, you looked around in the near-darkness. Your vision was hindered by the falling dusk as well as the rain, and you quickly shook your head mid-flight, splattering rainwater in all directions to join with the other drops. 

Not watching where you were going for a brief moment, you let out a pained noise when your arm came in contact with something sharp and hard. Pulling yourself higher with the ODM, you came to rest halfway up a thick pine, and looked down toward the forest floor, holding your arm. Unless there were stock animals on the loose, you were sure nothing in the forest was large enough to make that _'snap'_ besides another human. Then again, who was crazy enough to be out in this weather on their down time, except you? 

Still clutching your arm, you peered into the gray spaces in between the trees, and finally spotted them. 

There, on the outskirts of the wide, muddy main path, stood two dark figures in the rain. They must have stepped out from behind the trees just a second before, because no one had been there a few moments prior. One of them was waving at you, a little sheepishly by the looks of it. Squinting, you tilted your head a bit to the side, and raised a hand to shield your eyes from the rain. Not able to see clearly through all the moisture, you maneuvered yourself over to the people in question, dropping to the mud below. You again held up your hand in order to see the two cadets better. 

"Hello." You greeted, surprised at the sight of Armin Arlert, and his brunet friend; the one who had helped take Cadet Wagner to the infirmary earlier. If they were here on orders, surely they would have approached you sooner, but you asked anyway, "Does Shadis want me back early?" 

"Huh? Oh, uh...no." Armin shook his head underneath his big black raincoat, expression neutral before a friendly look overcame his child-like face. "I just...wanted to see how you were doing out here on your own. I thought maybe you'd want some help with your gear." 

"She seems fine to me, Armin." The other cadet muttered, half turned away from you, and already a few paces away. "It doesn't look like she needs help with anything. Let's get back." 

"Hold on. You're the one who wanted to come with me, just wait a sec." Armin gave a curious glance over at the retreating brunet's back, and you did the same. The words alone weren't much indication of any emotion, but the way he'd said them sounded...almost heated. Like he was angry with you. 

"No, he's right. I'm doing okay." You nodded absently, lowering your hand as Armin turned to face you. At the site of your face, he blinked his big blue eyes and opened his mouth in what looked like surprise. "If that's what you were out here for–" 

"You're bleeding!" Armin exclaimed, holding a hand up, as though unsure where to point or gesture. 

"Hm?" You asked, looking at the boy curiously. Then you looked down at yourself, and at your hand, where there were distinct traces of red among all the water. "Oh...yeah." 

"You need medical attention!" Armin's face screwed up a little in agitation, and you rubbed the back of your hand against your forehead. Suddenly, you felt a hand grab your wrist, and the boy was a little closer now, staring at your hairline. "Did you hit your head?" 

"No. I don't think so." You answered blankly, looking down at the blood running off your palm, then feeling a throbbing pain in your left bicep. Reminded by the pain, you reached down to your arm, and felt a rugged tear in the thick material of your flak jacket. Holding up your hand, your eyes met with the sight of bright, red blood coating your fingertips. The blood must've ran off your hand earlier when you'd made to shield your eyes from the rain. 

"Your arm is bleeding." Armin reached forward, but you covered the tear in the cloth with your hand before he could touch. 

"It's nothing, really. Thanks for your concern, though." You offered a small smile. Internally, you were wondering if you had any clean clothes that day, or if you'd need to wash and dry laundry before you could cut a makeshift bandage. 

At that thought, the infirmary was actually looking more appealing. 

"_______, that's not nothing, it's obviously bleeding heavily! If that needs stitches, you could bleed out by not–" 

"You heard her, Armin, she doesn't need our help." The brunet had turned around at some point, and stalked back over to the two of you. Faced with his deep, azure eyes, you recalled something from a few weeks prior. 

_"Serves you right, trying to blindside her like that!" A blue-eyed boy with a passionate face and brunet hair yelled in your direction._

That had been right after you'd forced Connie to the ground a second time on the first day of your combat training. Back then, it appeared that the brunet had been coming to your defense as a new trainee. You two had never truly spoken– except earlier in the day, when you'd both helped Cadet Wagner, but even then, he hadn't been acting the way he was now. In the infirmary...what had you thought of him? Soft-spoken...though, not all the time. Easy-going. 

_Irritable, excitable, and loud-mouthed._ Two sides of the same coin. 

Now... 

"Just let her get back to her training. She's her own responsibility." The boy grabbed Armin around the hood of his raincoat without much hesitation, and began tugging him back down the path, toward the camp. Meanwhile, the blonde was protesting, and even calling for you to come with them as he was dragged away. Entirely clueless as to what had just happened, you simply stood there, soaked and holding your injured arm. 

"Eren! She needs help! She needs medical attention! What's gotten into you?!" Armin struggled to regain footing at his own pace. "Stop!" 

"Armin. Leave it be." The boy, 'Eren', huffed, throwing Armin's raincoat in your direction, as the blonde had slipped out of it in order to escape his grasp and now stood next to you. The blonde teen straightened, both of you facing the angry brunet up the path. As the raincoat sailed your way, you reached out and caught it– then, after a pause, draped it over the blonde's head. The blonde, who immediately began fidgeting. 

"_______, you need to get to the medic tent before you pass out!" He insisted, throwing the coat off his head and attempting to place it around your shoulders. 

Armin looked like the one about to pass out, just then. Smiling at the sight of his open yet pale face, you grabbed the wet, slippery material and placed it back over his shivering form, much to the boy's chagrin. You then tugged at his wet sleeve, towing him in Eren's direction. 

"Your concern is endearing." You chuckled without any real humor, riddling through your head all the things you'd witnessed that day that kept you guessing at the true nature of humanity. Among other things. Some made sense more than others. Curiosity. Selfishness. Gentleness. "I just don't see a purpose for it." 

"Really? Why is that so hard to accept?" Eren asked from just up ahead, voice heated. He turned to look at you, and you could see immense annoyance in his deep blue orbs; more than that, there was an unmistakable undertone of anger. " _Some people are decent._ " 

Staring in his direction as the three of you continued onward, you let that last comment sink in. You realized you were still bearing the raincoat down gently on Armin's head, and released it, allowing him to stand to his full height. Up close, he was a bit shorter than you. 

"Well....I suppose." You agreed after a moment, thinking back to freckled Marco and his sweet voice, then to kind-faced Mina and her bright smile. Not to mention, the fretful, mildly invasive blonde walking next to you. "Yeah. You're right." 

"You know, you're probably not half as honest as you would have everyone believe." Eren grumbled, without any promoting. Over the rain, you could barely hear him– though, even if you could, you doubted he would be making any more sense. Where was all this coming from? "I thought differently earlier, but seeing the way you treat my friends–" 

"Eren..." Armin sighed. 

"It's okay– he can say what he wants." You said, not phased in the least by the heat in Eren's voice. "I don't mind...but I really don't understand what you're talking about." 

"Marco?" Eren asked, and you were taken aback. "Armin? They're just being nice; you could treat them a little better than the mud on the bottom of your boot. Even Annie has better bedside manner. Here Armin is, trying to sit next to you, trying to talk to you, _worrying_ over you, and–" 

"Alright, wait a–" 

"–and for what? So you could brush him off, like his concern doesn't mean anything?" 

"I don't treat anyone that badly." You interjected somewhat insistently, also realizing that it had been Armin who'd sat next to you in the canteen earlier. "I still don't really get what you're saying. I didn't think I was being rude to anyone, I just...I guess I'm just...being...myself?" 

It came out more as a question than a statement. You struggled to find the right words, all at once evolving backwards to a time when you didn't know how to express your thoughts or feelings at all. Your grip on your wounded arm tightened fractionally. 

"It's okay." Armin frowned, looking apologetic. "He gets like this some-" 

"Well, the real you must seriously suck, if that's the case." 

"Eren!" Armin exclaimed, seeming more agitated now than ever. "She's barely spoken a few sentences to you. I knew I shouldn't have let you come." He turned to you suddenly, eyes pleading with you to understand. "He doesn't mean it, really, he–" 

"It's alright." You shook your head, still lightly grasping at your bleeding arm; you doubted it was doing any good. You were probably just making the bleeding worse. "I understand." 

You really didn't. 

At this point, it was beyond obvious that the blonde was used to playing peacemaker around his brunet friend. What was also obvious was that Eren had probably just been looking for an excuse to get heated with _someone_ , probably not you in particular. Whatever you had said to offend him, unintended or not, there was no way any rudeness from you could warrant this much anger from him. There had to be something else that was bothering him. 

Thinking through all of this and still going in circles, you chuckled, and slid off your jacket, allowing the heavy rain to wash over your wound. Now revealed, the wound looked worse than it probably was; about two and a half inches long and deep towards the end, but clean. No jagged edges. 

"He's right, you know." You murmured to Armin, trying to hold your arm still as the three of you made your way back towards the base. 

"What?" Eren demanded, as Armin eyed you somewhat reproachfully. Was he angry with you now as well, for no apparent reason? 

"Some people are decent." You agreed. That wasn't the only thing he'd been right about. You threw your soaked jacket over your good arm and relaxed your injured one to rest at your side, swinging lightly as it continued to bleed. "I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I'll apologize to Marco later." 

Eren said nothing, and just continued walking after having glanced back at you once. You wondered briefly if he was going to apologize, then dismissed the thought. It didn't really matter. 

"Thanks again for coming out in this rain for me." You thanked Armin, a smile faint on your face. "I don't think we've actually met or traded names." 

"Heh...I already know yours." Armin murmured, lips living in a brief smile, hunching his shoulders a bit in bashfulness. 

"She would know our names if she bothered to stick around once in a while." Eren muttered from up the path, drawing both you and Armin's attention. 

"I'm sorry I've never stuck around to talk to you before." You apologized immediately. "I walked out on you again today at dinner, didn't I? I wasn't feeling too good." You stuck your right hand out to him, who was walking on your right, and he blinked, looking down at your hand. "But I know both of your names as well. It's nice to meet you, finally." 

"Uh...yeah. Same here." Armin reached out and grabbed your hand, blushing a little, despite his drenched, exhausted state. You wondered how long he'd been following you before he'd revealed himself– and decided you didn't care either way. 

"Hey, where are you going?!" Armin asked, alarmed, as you abruptly changed direction and began cutting your way through the trees, off the path. "_______! What are you doing?" 

"I'll make my way to the infirmary." You called back lowly, moving a lot faster now that you weren't trying to keep their pace. You could hear the blonde struggling through the bushes behind you, and Eren muttering something in low tones. "Just keep heading for camp— we'll talk later." 

"No! The infirmary's this way! It's just up the path! _______! You need to have your arm treated!" 

"I'm glad to have finally met you too, Jaeger." 

"_______! Come back!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, tell me about the ending to this chapter. Is the meeting with Eren all it was cracked up to be? I've had a sort-of-heated meeting scene in my head since this story began for our girl and Eren, but I don't think I executed it all that nicely. I'm actually considering editing the shit out of this last part, or rewriting most of it, but the thing is...it actually couldn't have gone any better, honestly. So, it would be nice to hear some input. Really. (EDIT: 10/11/18, I Did edit tf out of the last part, it turned out better, at least in my eyes. It just look a little time and care; even so, it still isn't perfect.) Also, feel free to point out any mistakes, oddities, plot holes or grammatical errors. 
> 
> Anyway, since I have the next chapter pretty much written out, the wait shouldn't be so long! This chapter has me rethinking my life choices. I actually wrote chapter five BEFORE chapter four, so I'm trying to pull all my ducks in a row here. 
> 
> Uploaded: Thurday, October 11th, 2018, 12:20 AM (Otherwise known as a few hours after Naruto's birthday!!! :D Raise the roof.)
> 
> Until next time! Be safe! Be happy! :)


	5. One Handshake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first joint assignment off-base has begun...almost exactly as expected. You also experience the first waves of the warmth that comes with making bonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this chapter. I actually wrote the majority of it before chapter four, so when a couple things didn't match up, I had to edit this one just a little to make it flow with the last. (Also this takes place about a week after the last chapter.) I'm thinking of making the next chapter a little creepy in the spirit of Halloween, what do you guys think? :D
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and tell me how you're liking my story so far in a comment! If you're feeling kind. Happy October!! :)

It was around ten-thirty in the evening. 

You, as well as six other military trainees were headed out towards an abandoned building in one of the empty fields just inside Wall Rose. 

It was you, Reiner Braun, Mina Carolina, Connie Springer, Thomas Wagner, Armin Arlert, and Eren Jaeger. There would have been an eighth, a boy named Samuel Linke-Jackson, if he hadn't have twisted his ankle just before the carriage had left. He had been your partner, as well, and you could tell your fellow cadets didn't know who to feel worse for; you, for having to take on your assignment by yourself, or Samuel, who would've by now gotten a thorough chewing-out for such a simple mistake-turned-injury. 

A strange group of cadets, but an effective one nonetheless. Each of you had been assigned a partner and would be given an area to patrol. 

"Freaky, isn't it?" Reiner's voice broke through the silence that had fallen over the six cadets sat in the back of the military-issued carriage. The rest of you either hummed in agreement or groaned in exhaustion as you caught sight of how quickly the building was approaching. As for yourself, you eyed the boy sleeping on your shoulder and discreetly jostled your arm to wake him up. 

Freaky was one word for it, you agreed, gazing at the property with curious eyes. You only shook your head when Armin apologized to you for falling asleep on your arm, and allowed a smile to grace your lips in the dark as the boy ducked his blonde head in embarrassment. Armin Arlert really was rather cute, especially given his size and personality, from what you'd seen of it. 

"So we're here?" Mina asked from her spot across from you, rubbing her eyes as she too woke up from a short nap. One of the other cadets affirmed this, as your carriage came to a stop in front of the massive building. A moment later, and you stood outside the carriage stretching and gazing curiously at the building on the hill ahead. 

A tall building: two stories, probably with a generous attic and basement. Large trees surrounded the property, towering even higher than the building itself. Windows lined the house, which in itself appeared to be standard beige with criss-crossing darker boards making up its design. A wrap-around porch, and a water well nearby. 

"What a waste." You murmured absently, rubbing a knot out of your neck, switching your gun from one shoulder to the other. You'd been holding it uncomfortably on the shoulder opposite the one Armin had been leaning against. 

"Hm?" Armin asked from just beside you, though you didn't turn to look at him. "What's a waste?" 

"...Nothing." You blinked, holstering your gun over your shoulder and adjusting it so you wouldn't need to keep handling it. "Just a stray thought. School houses like this are rare, aren't they? Maybe if they'd put more effort into the care of children, then things might not have been so bad when–" 

You halted, realizing that a few cadets more than just Armin were listening. Eren, Mina, as well as Thomas were gazing at you. 

"Well, never mind." You smiled briefly, just the corner of your lips. They didn't need to hear your senseless babble anyway. 

"According to our assignment, this is an old military base." Reiner walked up, holding a sheet of paper, which he then folded and placed in his breast pocket. "But it does look like a school, doesn't it?" 

"Right you are, _______." Shadis' usually unforgiving voice grated from just behind you, and every other cadet jumped. 

Looking to the side a bit, you eyed the academy instructor momentarily, before turning back toward the building and stepping aside when he walked forward. The other five followed close behind, just as you did (but not before grabbing the second supply crate from the carriage). You followed at a comfortable distance behind. 

"This military base was originally built as a massive boarding house meant to educate the children of low-income families from within Wall Rose. There is only one other building like it, on the other side of the wall, close to this location. That one was meant for select children coming from within Wall Maria. The project failed soon after their construction, however, and the buildings were turned into bases for nearby military police instead. Now, even that repurpose has been abandoned, and of course, the twin building is now unreachable."

"How did you get all that from just looking at it?" Thomas asked, looking back at you and you shrugged noncommittally. 

"Any soldier worth their salt should be able to take one look at any given structure and tell you it's purpose." Shadis spat from the front of the group as the seven of you made your way up the worn stone path. "Come along now! Unless you want to be walking in the dark without lanterns!" 

The group hurried up to the entrance of the building, where you prepared to receive your orders. The wall loomed mere kilometers ahead, massive and menacing like a gray entity, casting blackness over the already dark fields. Shadis eyed the lot of you, as though making sure you were each equally intimidated before barking his orders. 

"Your job for the next few days is to take inventory of the equipment inside the building and guard it from any possible thieves. There have been mass reports of robberies in this area, so keep on your toes!" After a collective shout of affirmation, the instructor went on. "Divide how you will, though it's my strong recommendation that you divide into the pair assignments you've been given." Shadis glared. "Any screw-ups and I'll be out for blood, so I don't want there to be any confusion on who takes the blame. Record everything! You are responsible for your partner on paper, got it?" 

"Sir, yes sir!" 

"Then get out of my sight!" The six of you marched up to the front porch of the building, and had just begun climbing the front steps when Shadis shouted, "We'll be back in three days time. Those crates Braun and _______ carried up will supply you until then. Those returning to retrieve you will most likely arrive in the early evening of the third day, and will have lit green lanterns at the head of the carriage. Green! So you idiots will know not to go blowing off your emergency flares at the sight of them!" 

"Sir!" With one last salute, you and your fellow cadets were left in the darkness as Shadis stalked off into the night. Darkness had just fallen minutes before, but it seemed to be getting darker by the moment. 

"Divide as we will, huh?" Eren was the first to murmur, striking a match as he lit his lantern, and the others followed suit. You grabbed your crate, heading up the steps and leaning the wooden box against the door as you tried the knob. It was locked. 

"Allow me." You stepped aside and widened your eyes at Connie as he prepared to kick down the door. 

"Hey, hold on a second!" Mina's cautious voice came from behind you, and you watched as she pulled him back by the arm. "We can't go destroying private property! Especially the MP's private property!" 

"I'll see if there's a window open." Armin suggested, walking around the side of the house, while Thomas muttered, "I can't believe the Commandant forgot the key." 

"Old sadist probably wanted us to struggle to get inside." Reiner replied lowly, then faced you with a reassuring smile, but a look of slight unease as well. "Hey, don't worry about being on your own for the next few days. Just because Samuel's down for the count, doesn't mean we have to split up into exact pairs like they have it on the assignment sheets." 

"Thanks. I'm sure everything'll be fine." You responded, and walked into the building as Armin unlocked the main doors from the inside. "Either way, I doubt we'll be running into any bandits during our stay." 

"You make it sound like an inn." Thomas chuckled, and everyone filed in. The door closed gently behind the group as Mina began lighting the lamps on either side of the double-doors. 

"Alright, so who's gonna take what?" Reiner asked the group, placing his rations crate next to yours on a small table near the wall. The building had opened up into a large empty room, which branched off to both sides into hallways. Directly ahead, from the minimal lighting, appeared to be more hallways, and a staircase. Directly in front of the staircase was a large table, covered in an off-white sheet. 

"Wherever Connie and I have to take inventory, please don't make us take the basement or attic." Mina chuckled nervously, inching closer to you; maybe the only person she would feel understood her predicament. "I hate those things." 

"Way to live up to the stereotype, Mina." Connie teased and Mina scowled. "Little girls being afraid of basements. Your supposed to be a soldier!" 

"You _want_ us to take the basement, you jerk?!"

"It's not a stereotype, more like common sense. Especially right now." Thomas said, gulping as he crowded in next to you and Mina, who stood by the lanterns on either side of the double-doors. "I mean, who even knows if we're not alone right now? And if we aren't, how great of a chance is there that any bandits would be hiding in the basement?" 

"Alright, alright guys, just hold on a sec." Reiner waved his hand, scattering the fear-induced concerns and writing something down with a pencil. Eren and Armin hovered nearby, peeking at what he was writing, next to the supply crates. "Let's figure out what to do with _______ first! One of our comrades doesn't have a partner to survey with." 

"She could come with me and Eren." Thomas said, just as you amended, "I'll take the basement." 

Everyone looked at you in surprise, and you shrugged, tugging at a lose strand of hair lightly under the sudden attention. That same old habit of yours that you thought you had long abandoned. It had been coming out more in the last couple months than usual. 

"I'm not afraid of the dark, or basements." You stated simply, and walked forward to grab a candle out of one of the crates. Then you grabbed an extra one, avoiding Eren and Armin's eyes, as they stood directly in front of you. "Attics either, if you want me to do that, and I'm alright with working alone too. I don't know about the rest of you, but I want to get this inventory done as soon as possible." 

"I'll come with you!" Mina spoke suddenly, surprising Thomas, who was just beside her. She seemed to be willing to get over her fear of the dark if it meant being with a fellow female. The both of you had also gotten along quite well in the past couple of weeks. "I'll help you inventory the basement, _______!" 

"Actually you and I can take the second floor." Connie grabbed her jacket sleeve and pulled her in the direction of the stairs, lantern in hand. Then, he paused and looked back in your direction sheepishly, letting go of Mina. "You can come with us if you want. We can do the basement later." 

"Really, I'm fine." You smiled and, lighting the candle, began making your way toward the left hallway. "Anyway, I'm gonna try and find a way down there." 

A number of grumbles followed after you, but you just kept making your way down the hall. In truth, it mattered little to you wether or not anyone wanted to follow, but something in the back of your mind murmured that it _would_ be nice to have some company. You suspected that maybe Armin would follow after you with Reiner in tow (Reiner, who was almost unusually charismatic) or maybe even Thomas, though you weren't sure if Eren wanted to be around you or not. 

You were sure you wouldn't mind if the blue-eyed brunet did decide to tag along. It was less of a problem that you had with him than it was him having a problem with you. If you had anything emotionally invested in any of these relationships, you were sure it might have stung a bit when he'd repeatedly snubbed you in the past week. You didn't even know what you'd done wrong. 

In the beginning, you two had gotten along fine...hadn't you? As well as strangers could get along. This was your general train of thought as you walked the dark halls of the old school, bits and pieces of the building sparking and connecting in your brain like a memory that wanted to be left alone. 

You _really_ hoped there wouldn't be anyone in the basement. You didn't want to have to apprehend them and go through all the trouble of hailing the MP unit a couple kilometers away, then filing a report. 

You spent a couple of minutes wandering the halls, peeking into empty classroom-slash-meeting rooms, and a small weaponry. When you had made a half circle of the unusual building, and came out at the left end of the man staircase, you found the door leading to the basement. The lanterns by the main doors still glowed, but everyone else seemed to have retreated someplace out of your sight. 

The door was simple in design with a dusty iron handle and it creaked when you pulled it open. A narrow staircase was revealed, with a solid brick wall on the left and a rickety railing on the right side, which was the only thing separating you from a great expanse of blackness. 

With nothing more to do than complete the task you said you would, you descended into the dank, dark basement. 

"Hey! _______!" Someone called, and you heard footsteps behind you. Halting in your steps, you turned and caught sight of two swinging lanterns in the darkness. When they'd come close enough, you found the lanterns to be held by Reiner and Armin. 

"Oh, hey." You nodded to them, continuing down into the basement. Your movements quickly slowed as you felt _and_ heard the wooden staircase shift under your weight. "What's up?" 

"Just coming to check on you. We've been looking almost since you left, but we lost you." Reiner smiled. "Slippery one, aren't you? Armin here didn't want you going off by yourself, and...neither did I, really. Who knows, with these old buildings? You shouldn't be heading off into the basement by yourself." 

"That's nice, guys. But I'm fine here." You smiled, losing your hood for the first time since you entered the building, and allowing your candle to cast a glow over your face so they could see you better. "Actually, I think you're the one who shouldn't be coming down here, Reiner. These steps feel like they could break under your weight." 

"Well," Reiner smiled slyly, throwing his cloak off and letting it settle to the floor. "That's one way to let a guy know he needs to lose weight. Thanks, _______." 

You and Armin both chuckled at this, and you again turned to the darkness of the basement. From your position, you could see racks of what appeared to be old harnesses, old building material and splintery crates. 

"Don't worry about me, guys, just do your job." You continued down the steps, careful not to step too heavily. "I'm sure there's far more to be done upstairs than down here." 

"I still think we should stay." Armin followed after you, and looked down at the steps as well. Mildew and mold had likely set in, and the stairs, while mostly steady, were undeniably soft. "Reiner, I think you should stay up there too. These stairs are old and damp." 

"I'll...take your word for it." Reiner nodded, and turned, preparing to leave the two of you to it. "I guess I'll go find somewhere else to survey. You two just yell if you need help, and someone'll come running." 

"Okay." Armin nodded, and you both watched as Reiner's lamp disappeared around the corner. A few moments later, you could hear his steps ascend the stairs above. 

Meanwhile, you'd lit your own oil lamp, setting it down while you used your glass-encased candle to further explore the room. "Thanks for coming down here with me...even if it is pretty unnecessary." 

"Sometimes people make mistakes when taking inventory alone," the blonde shrugged his small shoulders, walking around the other side of a wooden rack. You could hear him jingling something around a second later. "It's not anyone's fault, but it could happen."

"...True." You nodded, though he couldn't see you and you felt silly. Is that why he'd followed you down? To make sure you didn't make a mistake? But even if you did, how would that reflect badly on _him_?

"You know, I never said anything..." You gave a slow smile, not wanting to startle the blonde. "But you're a lot less great at sneaking around than you think you are, Goldilocks."

You chuckled as you heard something crash on the other side of the rack, and walked around to peer at the blonde. He'd dropped an old can of harness oil into an old rusted bucket, which had fallen over. Armin looked up at you, hunched over and stiff, as though caught doing something he shouldn't have been. You thought he was going to start stuttering and demanding to know what you meant by that, when he stood up straight.

You were half right.

"G-Goldilocks?" He asked quietly, gazing at you with those big blue eyes you found so adorable. "What's that?" 

"Just a name for people like you." You chuckled, then reached up to move a lock of his ever-growing bangs out of his face. He startled at the gesture, and followed the movement with his eyes and a faint blush that warmed the fairness of his face. "People with golden hair." 

"I've never heard that before." 

"Hmm..." You considered this, then nodded, reaching down to pick up the oil can he'd dropped. "I suppose you wouldn't have." 

"I've been meaning to apologize." Armin replied quietly, seemingly unfazed by your vague reply. "For eavesdropping that day Shadis gave you the ultimatum about the ODM...and for following you through the woods the night you and Eren argued." 

"Wait, you followed me?" You asked, pulling a confused face and laughing when Armin's face paled at an astonishing rate, eyes suddenly haunted. "I'm kidding! I knew it was you. That's why I walked slow." 

"W-what's that supposed to mean?" Armin demanded, fists pulled to his chest in an indignant gesture, and you laughed more. "I'm not _that_ slow!" 

"I think that's the first time I've heard you laugh since you got here." A voice spoke from the top of the steps, and the both of you turned to gaze at the descending teen. 

"To be fair, we've only been here for about forty-five minutes." You smiled lightly, smile slowly dropping as you remembered that the person descending the steps was angry with you. 

"I meant since you entered the academy." Eren murmured, joining you and Armin in the low light of your combined lanterns and candle. 

"...Yeah, I knew what you meant." You replied softly, unsure of what to do or how to act in the face of Eren Jaeger, who seemed somewhat of a loose canon in all aspects. "Hey, I'm sorry." 

Both boys looked at you in the dimness. Your own gaze was directed toward the dirty can still clutched in your hand, for lack of anything better to look at. Eren's eyes unnerved you. 

"For what?" 

"For whatever I said to upset you last week." You hummed in vague amusement. You still weren't sure what you'd actually _said_ that could be deemed offensive, but thought it best to apologize anyway. "I still don't actually know what I did wrong, but I didn't mean to make you angry. Just goes to show how good I am at participating in conversation." 

"...It wasn't you." Eren eventually said, hunching his shoulders a bit. When you glanced over at him, he appeared to be a little sheepish, scratching at his hairline, one hand held behind his head. He was also looking at his feet, expression somewhat downcast. "I was looking for a fight...with anyone. It was my fault, I shouldn't have blown up like that." 

"Oh." You breathe, now openly gazing at him, for some reason no longer deterred by this enigma of a boy. "What a relief." 

"Heh..." Eren made the sound awkwardly, shoulders hunched in a way that suggested he was still in a bit of discomfort. Then he looked at you with his deep blue eyes and for the first time since you two had met, you held that stare with your own. 

"I'm not really in a position to make any enemies right now anyway...and I'm not like _Jean_ or anything, so I don't care about making the top ten." The boy paused, then continued with a sure tone. "I don't wanna fight with you, and Armin seems really interested in you-" 

"Eren!" You and Eren chuckled at the blonde boy's indignant protest. You turned to smile warmly at Armin, who shrank a little under your gaze but smiled back. 

"I don't see why. I'm actually not all that..." You trailed off, seeing Eren hold out a tanned hand, which you eyed curiously. The brunet boy hesitated a moment, as though contemplating something. Then his off-blue gaze returned to yours and he spoke. 

"So, uh....friends?" 

You blinked, looking at his outstretched hand. Obviously, he wanted you to take it, if you agreed you wanted to be friends, but...no one had ever asked you to be their friend. You weren't sure you'd ever really _had_ a friend before, let alone...two? Armin was looking at you with an expectant and slightly hopeful gaze as well. 

"Just so you know, I've never had a friend before." You hummed a light sound of sheepishness, a small smile on your face which fell a little when you seen both boys looked surprised. "So I might not be the best person for that kind of thing." 

"...That's silly. Friendship is easy." Armin smiled, and you felt something in your chest warm when you saw how relaxed and pleasant his expression had turned. A sparkle had entered his eyes that you hadn't had the privilege of seeing before. 

You looked back at Eren, who wasn't smiling, but looking rather serious– hand outstretched, back straight, eyes gazing at you as though with this one handshake, you would seal a promise. That hand unnerved you, somewhere deep inside. You'd never quite felt anything like it.

Armin was also looking at you expectantly, but pleased at the same time. It was like he knew something you didn't. Would the surprises ever end around these two? 

Sighing, you lifted your eyes to his and smiled, reaching out your own hand. 

Just before you and Eren's hand could meet, just as your fingertips were beginning to brush, a scream broke the empty silence. It startled all three of you, and every head whipped towards the top of the stairs. 

"Mina." You spoke quietly, hand now drawn back to your chest in surprise. At once, the three of you went running to the bottom of the stairs, and began climbing. Just then, there was the sound of something breaking, like glass. Despite your concentration being set on the disturbance above, you noted that the floorboards felt even softer going up. 

"What's up?!" Eren demanded, as the three of you exited basement– but the scream must have come from upstairs, from the second floor. Together, the three of you made your way up the dusty, wooden staircase, following the faint glow of lanterns in a room off in the right corridor. 

As you neared the gently lit room, you could hear agitated voices, and then one dopey, somewhat obnoxious laugh, which instantly eased some of your apprehension. Your footsteps slowed, letting Eren and Armin continue ahead of you. 

Connie obviously thought something was funny. 

"Agh! You juvenile creep!" Mina was fuming, when you entered the room behind the boys. "Imbicile! This is your fault!"

"Imbecile? You sound like Shadis." 

"I'm not taking the blame for this!" 

"Relax, it was just a vase." Reiner was sighing, rubbing the fingers of one large hand against his forehead. "For all the brass knows, maybe it was already broken when we got here." 

Thomas sighed from his spot sitting on a bunk bed, obviously stressed out. The seated cadet, hair and sideburns like the lightest sand, looked over at the three of you and relaxed a bit. "Eren, there you are. You ran off." 

"Sorry." Eren apologized, walking into the center of what appeared to be a bedroom, complete with two sets of bunk beds on either side. On the floor near the back of the room, between the beds, was a single bedside table. The floor all around was littered with broken shards of green ceramic; a vase, apparently. "What happened?" 

"Mina broke a vase." Connie snickered with a white bed sheet around his small frame like a hooded cloak, and Mina shot him a glare. "I was gonna scare her but then a squirrel fell out from the top bed and landed on her shoulder. That's when she bumped into the table." 

Reiner smiled despite himself, and so did Eren, Armin and Thomas, the ladder of the boys chuckling a little. Mina was red in the face now and shivering in what seemed to be disgust, pulling at one of her frazzled ponytails. 

"It landed on my _hair_! Squirrels are practically rats! And that one was ugly!" The brunette growled, then threw a cleaning rag at Connie's head. She then sat down on the bunk opposite Thomas, frowning and pulling her hair ties out. Quickly, Mina looked up and around, as though to make sure that there were no more squirrels hiding nearby. 

"It's alright. Anyone would've gotten startled." You smiled at the girl, wanting to calm her agitation, and she sighed. 

"You wouldn't have." Mina answered, then smiled back at you. Her hands moved through her dark hair in an attempt to tame it. 

"Yeah, she's right." Connie chuckled, shooting a sly grin to where you stood slightly behind Eren and Armin. "If that squirrel had fallen on _you,_ we'd probably be eating squirrel stew right now." 

"Ew!" Mina and Thomas said at the same time, as Connie snickered and the others made faces of amusement and disgust. Reiner chuckled a little, and Armin looked around the floor as though expecting more woodland animals to come scampering about. 

You just shrugged, a small smile on your face as you walked over to the mess and began picking up the biggest pieces. You let out a brief sound of amusement as you hunched over, and said in an overly-light voice, "It would take more time than that. We can still set traps." 

A few moments went by of total silence as you picked up the shards, and you glanced back– then did a double-take at the looks on your fellow cadets. Most of their eyes were locked in on you with expressions ranging from confusion to mild disturbance. Even Mina looked at you from the corner of her eye, lips slightly pursed and dark eyes wide. Then, you understood. 

At once, a light scowl came over your face and you deadpanned, eyes dark and flat, "Can't...anyone tell when I'm joking?" 

Silence.

"Uh... _Oh!_ " Reiner exclaimed, surprised, and then he smiled and started laughing. Laughing more, then uproariously, he held a hand to his stomach and the others joined in, expressions breaking into relaxed grins and more laughter. 

It had been forever since you had evoked that kind of response from anyone. Actually, you might not have ever made anyone laugh so much, let alone several people. The sound of their laughter and the sight of their faces was so pleasant, even you smiled and chuckled a little. 

"Oh, _______." Mina giggled after a minute after they'd all began to calm down a bit. The girl smiled at you affectionately, eyes closing in a show of joy as she faced you. "You're so funny." 

"I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard." Reiner wheezed, still holding his stomach with a carefree grin on his normally serious face. He sat himself down on the bunk bed next to Thomas. "What a riot this is turning out to be." 

"Here, _______. I'll do that." Thomas stood, pink in the face as he smiled at you and held out a large notepad for you to place the largest shards on. There was no broom or dustpan lying around that you could tell. 

"It's okay, I got it." You continued picking up the ceramic pieces as Thomas continued to protest. Then Mina also stood and came over, bending down next to you. 

"You don't have to, _______. I'll help Thomas clean it up." She smiled at you, hair now in a thick, shiny braid down her back. Then she sent a reproachful look to the boy with the shaven head nearby. "Though _somebody else_ should actually be doing this. I wish I'd gone with you to the basement, _______. Connie can work by himself from now on." 

"What? Come on, it wasn't that bad!" The boy protested, then stood up. "Look, I'm sorry alright? I'll go find a broom and garbage bin." 

"I'll come with you." Reiner offered, and they exited the room in quick succession. "Make sure you don't find anything else to damage." 

They grumbled all the way out and down the hallway, where the light from their lanterns slowly faded and disappeared. You backed away from the mess, letting Mina and Thomas finish picking up the pieces with a 'Thanks' and gazed out the window. 

From here, you couldn't see much except the starry night sky lined by Wall Rose in the distance, and a faint dark outline of what appeared to be a cluster of trees. Squinting, and moving closer to the window, you scowled minutely. 

"What is it?" Eren asked, apparently seeing your change in expression and moving closer as well. You sighed, discontented and slightly annoyed.

"Do you see that?" You asked, nodding in the direction of the trees out the window. Eren crowded in closer, arm almost brushing against yours. "There was a light in the trees just a second ago." 

"I don't see anything." Eren tilted his head to the side, and the others gathered around as well, pushing you slightly against the narrow window. Seeming to realize there were other windows, Thomas and Armin opened the curtains on those ones as well and peered out. "Wait..."

"There." Mina pointed, past your shoulder, and the others looked on intently. Very faintly, ever so slightly, you could see what looked like a small lamp or fire flickering from within the cover of the trees. Just a tiny speck of orange, twinkling randomly. A few moments later, it vanished from sight once more and the five of you waited with baited breath and murmured confusion for a full minute. Whatever it was, it didn't ignite again. 

"We all saw that." Eren spoke lowly. "Someone's out there...right?" 

"Could it have been a trick of light? A reflection from the moon, maybe?" Mina asked. "The sky is clear, and it's pretty bright out tonight..." 

"I don't think so. It was orange." Armin murmured. "Besides, even if it is somehow a reflection or glint off some object, I don't think anything is supposed to be over there anyway. If there was, Shadis would've told us to watch out for it before he left."

You and Thomas gave subsequent sighs as Mina and Eren made low noises of discontent. It appears you weren't the only one hoping for a peaceful mission. 

"I guess that means we have to go down there." You said, stepping away from the window and taking a moment to think. "We can't just leave it be." 

"No one goes anywhere alone." Reiner rumbled from the door, drawing everyone's attention. That somber look of his was back, his eyes dark under the shadows of his eyebrows which were drawn into a deep frown. At his side, Connie grimaced, holding a broom and metal pail. 

"Those must be the thieves, right?" Connie asked, setting down the cleaning tools. "Who else would be lurking around this empty part of Wall Rose at night?" 

"Maybe it's just a family having a picnic." Reiner joked deeply after a moment of silence, chuckling a little. 

"Can't we just...fire off one of our flares?" Thomas asked from the left corner of the room, near the far window. 

"They would probably see it and get a head start at running away." You answered, running a hand over the military-issued blade strapped to your side. "I don't know what's beyond those trees, but if they know we're onto them and start running–"

"They'll be long gone before the military police get here." Eren finished, and Thomas flushed faintly, probably thinking he should've taken that into consideration as well. 

"So...how are we gonna do this?" Thomas inquired nervously. "We can't let this go unattended– and we can't continue with our mission until we know for sure who's out there." 

"You're sure you saw a light?" Reiner asked the group as a whole and together, you all nodded. 

"All five of us did." Armin answered. Then, Connie pointed out the window, and Reiner put out his lamp, as did you, Eren and Mina. In the complete darkness, without any light from the lanterns polluting the windows, you could see clearly a tiny orange light flickering from within the trees once more. 

"Damnit." Reiner growled, and you agreed. The light from a flame was unmistakeable. It looked like your countryside inventory mission wasn't going to be completed anytime soon. Not if there were notorious thieves lurking on the grounds surrounding the building.


	6. The Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suspecting that there may be thieves lurking on the grounds, you and the others decide how to handle the situation of the light in the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone have a good Halloween?? I put on a pumpkin shirt and wore a green bow as my stem. -__- Lame, right? lol I never have time or money to spend on costumes or makeup. 
> 
> I would've updated sooner, since this chapter is a bit filer-ish, but I was _entirely_ swamped with big events and school work this past week. Wanna know something awesome?? I seen Mark Ruffalo last week IRL!!! Literally could've died happy. I also got to see Billy Ray Cyrus too, and got to hear him sing, which is cool I guess, but less exciting. I had a group presentation on the day of Halloween (which is also my baby brother's birthday), so I was occupied with trying to pull that off, and I also have another presentation this upcoming week, so I'll need to spend some time on that. Hopefully I'll find time to write this weekend and then later on in the week. 
> 
> If you find this chapter to be a little boring, hopefully the next one will make up for it. Thank you, _thank you_ to those who commented (and left kudos) previously. You honestly make me want to write faster. x
> 
> I hope everyone is having a great start on November! :) Stay warm, and stay safe!

"First things first. We need to sweep the building. Make sure no one's squatting in any corners...and we need to move fast." Reiner was tense, and spoke lowly and quickly. All seven of you were checking over your gear, having locked the door, closed the curtains and quickly scanned the room and hall for intruders. 

"If I got in through that first-floor window downstairs," Armin's voice was also quiet; nervous. "How easy would it be for one of them to sneak in unnoticed? Even while we sit here–" 

"We'll split into two groups." You interrupted, catching the attention of everyone in the group, especially Reiner, who looked most surprised. "I think it's the best option. Three of us should take the attic and work our way down, and the other four should forego the first floor and make their way from the basement up."

"Seems logical, I guess." Eren nodded, the first to speak. Then he met your eyes, his own blue-green ones cloaked in the shadows of his cheekbones. "We'll need to check the whole place to make sure we're alone. But what about the ones in the trees?" 

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking." Reiner murmured, eyeing you almost expectantly. That look made you falter a bit, as though remembering yourself. 

"It was just a suggestion." You shook your head, and something must've overcome your face that you weren't aware of, because the look in Reiner's eyes changed. At your words, and change in tone, he almost looked confused. "I...had our safety in mind, foremost. We could approach those in the trees after we've secured the building. I think that would be best– and the safest for all of us as trainees, but...." You smiled, tipping your head down a little. "Sorry. Who am I to be giving orders, or proposing strategy? I'm just the new kid in class." 

"No...It's okay." Reiner said, still with that same look of confusion on his face. The big blonde didn't lose that look, but smiled a bit, touching his chin in thought. "Really. It's not a _bad_ idea. It's just...if we spend all our time in this place, the chances are greater that the squatters in the trees'll get away." 

"We don't actually _know_ it's intruders." Mina offered. 

"Yeah, it could just be that family camping out." Connie snorted, then scowled. "Guys, if there really are people out there, then they probably already know we're here. I mean, if we could see their light through those trees, then they've probably already seen ours from the window." 

"And if they're already inside," Eren added– and everyone sort of hunched in on themselves, as though reminded to be on high-alert– "Or if they were inside to begin with, then they definitely know we're here. We haven't exactly been discreet, have we?" 

"Talking, screaming and breaking shit." Connie affirmed with a grimace. "Yeah, if this isn't all in our heads, then they've got a big advantage over us."

A few of you, including yourself, looked towards the door, having the same thought: if they were quiet and quick enough, someone could even be listening to you at that very moment, from just on the other side of that door. 

"Look, let's not panic." Armin reassured everyone, and everyone looked at him with equally tense expressions. Once again, Armin looked like the only one about to pass out or panic at that moment; his face was dark and held terror just behind those bright blue orbs and soft, tense jaw. "L-Let's just get this thing moving as soon as possible." 

"Armin's right. We can't just...hide in the dark." Mina forced out, though it was obvious she was scared as well. 

"No one's hiding. Just thinking it through." Reiner reassured everyone, and at his voice, everyone also seemed to calm. 

You'd only been at the academy for so long...but even you had quickly found Reiner to be somewhat of a pillar of strength. Big, broad, deep-voiced, kind and determined, he was someone everyone looked to for support. For advice. The boy was young and still in the academy, but already possessed the likeness of a leader– the likeness of a big brother, and you wondered if he knew it. Somehow, you had a feeling he did. 

"Maybe we could keep the lighting to a minimum." You murmured, feeling the still-warm glass of your own oil lamp on the floor next to you. "I still say we should go with my original suggestion. Four upstairs and three downstairs. Once we secure the building against obvious threats, two of us can guard the base while the other five head out to search the grounds."

"Sounds solid." Reiner sighed. "Still...those people in the woods could get away in all that time. If there's no one in the building after all, we'll have nothing to show for all that work. Connie's right, if there's people in the trees, they've probably already seen our lanterns, and they're probably booking it as we speak." 

You tried to keep you expression open and neutral, and waited patiently. You'd already said that your plan was just a suggestion. Of course, you didn't expect everyone to just fall in line with you, as someone so new to the trainee corps...and by looking at him, and observing how his expressions had changed at your words, you had an idea about what Reiner was going to say next.

"Four of us will stay and carry out your plan." Reiner said, after a few long moments. "Three of us will head out right away through a downstairs window and scan the yard, then the woods. As soon as the four here at the base have swept the building, two of them will come to join us, leaving two to man the fort until we get back." 

You were right; he'd split the group apart in order to engage the people in the trees. His wasn't exactly a bad plan either, just a little more risky in terms of personal safety. It was what a military official would've ordered. 

"I have no objections to that." You said after a moment, as you realized that everyone was waiting on your response. 

"I think...we should leave our lanterns on in this room, with the curtains closed." Armin added after a moment. Six pairs of eyes snapped to attention. Even if you hadn't been at the academy long, you knew Armin was somewhat of a genius the same way you knew Reiner was made of serious leader-material. "Say they already know we're here. If we turn all the lights out, that would be suspicious. It's our first instinct, to hide when we discover a threat. If they see our light suddenly go out, it might make them more likely to start running right away."

"Depends," Eren shrugged. " _Some_ criminals are smart. They might think we're coming for them anyway." 

"Do what you gotta do." Is all Reiner said before he stood, and swung his gun around by it's strap around his shoulder. The entirety of the weapon now rested against his broad chest. Reiner turned to face you, and offered a hand to help you stand up. 

"You and me." The blonde nodded, expression tense. "You, Thomas and I will head out to the trees to survey the threat first." 

As you and Thomas nodded, Reiner asked if there were any objections; there were none.

.  
.

Armin creeped onto the third floor quietly, Eren following close behind. When they came to the first door of the east wing, the blonde moved to the other side quickly and nodded, holding up three fingers briefly before counting down silently. 

One...two...

_Three._

Opening the door, Armin's hand holding a lantern shot into the room, illuminating the dark space while Eren swung his loaded and cocked rifle into the room, scanning it for intruders. The room was empty, save for a single, flat cargo crate too thin for anyone to hide behind or inside. It was upright and leaning against the wall, like a coffin. 

"Clear." Eren confirmed softly, pulling the door closed with a quiet _'click'._

"Three more for this floor. Then we'll head down." Armin responded, and Eren nodded. They'd already checked the attic, which had proved to be more than easy; besides the cobwebs and dust bunnies, it had been completely empty. They repeated the same process for another room, which held only empty frames for two bunk beds, and some old and broken oil lamps in the corner. 

"You think they're going to need the extra help?" Armin asked, standing with Eren at one of the murky glass windows at the far wall of the room. 

Just like the first time, they could see what appeared to be a flame flickering from within the cluster of trees. The group of three that had moved out was no where to be seen; unsurprising, since they wouldn't be using lanterns as they approached the trees. With the moon shining so brightly, they probably wouldn't even have needed lanterns. Within the trees, however, it might be a different story. 

"Once we're done in here?" Eren asked, glancing back at the open door, then gesturing to Armin to follow as he walked back into the hallway. "Hard to say. Probably not, I would guess." 

They cleared another room and moved on to the last. When they were through and heading back downstairs, Armin spoke once more, keeping his tone quiet. 

"I'm surprised you didn't object to not being able to go with them." 

"They all seem pretty capable." Eren shrugged. "I'll go after we're done here, anyway...but whoever is out there probably isn't going to be much trouble in the first place, even if they put up a fight. From the sounds of it, they're probably just petty thieves." 

"You think _______ is gonna be alright? I've never actually seen her fight anyone." Armin questioned quietly as he and Eren came to the top of the main staircase. Together, with silent gestures, the two friends decided to search the west corridor first. 

"Your kidding, right?" Eren chuckled, causing Armin to look at him in surprise. "She seems to have her technique down to a science. If we were graded on hand-to-hand combat alone, she'd be graduating in first or second place, easy. No one back at the academy has been able to beat her." 

"Not yet anyway." Armin murmured with furrowed brows as they came to the first of six doors in the narrow, dark hall. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Have you ever seen her _actually_ fight anyone?" 

"Of course. That's what..." Eren paused, seeming to think it over for a moment. Then his expression morphed into one of deep thought as well. "Well...now that you mention it..." 

"Sure, she's bested anyone who's come her way so far." Armin continued with a concerned expression. "But as far as I know, no one has ever walked away from sparring with her with more than a scrape or sore muscle." 

"You're right." Eren agreed a moment later, surprised blue-green eyes meeting Armin's sky-blue one's. "She never actually _fights,_ not with fists and kicks. More like...she evades advances. I've actually never thought about it...how could I have not noticed?" 

"I was paired with her once, earlier this week." Armin admitted. "Of course...if someone like Bertholdt, Reiner or Ymir couldn't beat her, I basically had no chance...but she didn't hurt me. Not in the least." Armin looked away, a little embarrassed. "Actually, the entire time, I don't think I took more than two steps before she had my arm behind my back and my weapon was gone....but you see, that's not real combat. What'll she do when there's more than one person trying to hurt her? Could she actually take on more than one person with a technique like that?" 

"...Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Eren said, eventually, looking a little disconcerted now. Then he turned to the door of the first room and placed his hand on the knob. "We'll just focus on getting this over with, for now. We'll worry about them after." 

.  
.

You felt the wooden handle of your military-issued blade at the tips of your fingers, gazing ahead as the three of you crouched behind an old abandoned wagon, about halfway to the cluster of trees. 

"So what's it gonna be?" Thomas asked, tense as he peered over the top of the shredded canopy, standing atop some splintery crates. "Do we just...head in?" 

"I don't know if that would be stupid, or just what they aren't expecting." Reiner scowled. "We're already here and I still can't decide." 

"_______? Any ideas?" Thomas asked, looking down at you.

You shrugged, having sat down on the soft, tall grass as the boys talked among themselves. "We could send one person to scout ahead and they could relay information...but we are kind of pressed for time." 

"Hm." Reiner hummed, looking around the corner from where he was sat, on the other side of Thomas' feet. "What's on the other side of these trees?" 

"Open fields, I think." Thomas answered. 

"I think two of us should approach from the front. One goes around the back, a little ahead of time, in case they decide to run at the sight of us." 

"I can do that." You offered. 

"Actually, I was thinking of leaving that up to Thomas." Reiner smiled. "If that's alright with you, of course. I think it's...the best option possible." He articulated the words, as though to remind you of your own back in the boarding house– as thought to remind you that he'd taken your words into consideration, back there. You hummed noncommittally in response. 

"Why Thomas?" 

"Yeah, why Thomas?" The blonde demanded, stepping down from the crate. 

"Because Thomas is light on his feet." Reiner answered both of you. 

"I noticed." You chuckled, hearing an indignant noise erupt from Thomas' throat. "Listen, Thomas. I found this in the little weaponry they had on the first floor of the boarding house." You showed him the small spool of wire, looking at the boy intently. Thomas blinked, squinting to see the dark object in your palm. "Do you know how to set a tripwire?" 

"Uh..no?" Thomas asked with a slightly worried tone, as though afraid to give the wrong answer. "I think Instructor Fletchley had a brief lesson on hunting and things a couple years ago...but we didn't really need to cover any of that as military trainees."

"I see..." You grimaced a bit in thought, and then relaxed your expression as Thomas' turned into one of slight guilt. "It's okay. Well, you know how to tie a knot right? That's good enough." 

"Good enough for what?" Reiner asked, eyebrows furrowed curiously. 

"Maybe not for a proper trap; but enough to create a diversion." You held up the spool and pulled on the end of the wire wrapped around it. You pulled about a foot's worth of wire, and lightly scratched at the expanse with the nail of your middle finger, making a tiny screeching sound. "If you do end up finding the campsite or rest area, then there may be a noticeable path that they've been using." 

"You think we'll have time to set a trap like that?" Reiner asked incredulously, and you shrugged. 

_I would._ You thought, but didn't say.

"Just a suggestion...if you see an opportunity." You handed it to Thomas anyway, who took it without protest. "You'd be surprised what can come in handy in a dire situation." 

"Alright. Let's get this thing going. The sooner we finish the better." Reiner stood up, and so did you. "Like I told the others...defend yourself but don't maim or kill unless absolutely necessary. If you _absolutely must,_ then blow off your emergency flare, but otherwise, wait until we're ready to hail the MP's." He eyed Thomas with a tense smile. "You gonna be alright there, Thomas?" 

"Yeah. Of course." The cadet nodded, sweat on his brow. Out here, he looked a little braver than he did in the boarding house, despite the darkness. "I'll head out, then. Go east around the trees, then sneak in and see what I can see." 

"Wait." Your eyes narrowed in confusion. Surely these guys didn't just want to head in blind? "How will we relay out next move to Thomas once we find the place the thieves are hiding? Or, how will Thomas reach us, undetected?" 

If the thieves were that good; good enough to be notorious in these parts, then odds were they wouldn't make it easy for you and the others to capture them. You had a small ball of worry somewhere in the pit of your stomach– not for yourself, but for your classmates. This whole thing was very mediocre in terms of strategy...at the very least, you should send a scout first. Suddenly, you wished you had insisted more on your plan in the building. 

"If I see or hear you guys approach the thieves, I'll come out too." Thomas said after a moment. "Otherwise, I'll wait on instructions." 

"We'll head out a few minutes after you start moving." Reiner nodded, face dark. "We'll just try to apprehend them, alright? If any of us hear shots fired, that'll be the signal to come out of hiding and defend each other." 

You said nothing, but sorely wished it wouldn't come to that. Wished all of you didn't have to engage these thieves in the first place, but...it was, _technically_ part of the reason you and the others were at the boarding house. If you and your group let these thieves slip through your fingers and get away, you'd all catch hell when you got back to the academy base. Shadis' men riding that wagon up the trail with their green lanterns on the third day would be a nightmare come alive.

Shortly after Thomas had left, you and Reiner had both sat back down for a minute– and you'd scooted down on your belly, watching from beneath the old battered wagon as your classmate disappeared into the darkness. The burly blonde next to you gazed straight ahead at the boarding house. 

"Sorry I didn't let you go. I know you wanted to." Reiner said after a minute. You glanced up at him to see him facing the boarding house with a frown. "I just..." 

"You don't trust me." 

"It's not that." 

"It's alright." You sat up as Thomas had long gone out of view, and once more swung your rifle's belt around your neck, settling the weapon against your side. "I don't blame you." 

"You know, in these situations it's usually myself, Jean, or Armin trying to form a strategy right off the bat. Sometimes Marco too...but," The big blonde chuckled. "It's been so long since anyone else has really stepped up, you know? It's kinda nice to hear a new voice." He dropped the cheerful look, eyeing you seriously, all of a sudden. "It's not that I don't trust you. I think you're beginning to prove yourself as capable, but...honestly, I just didn't want you walking of into the woods alone. You're still _new._ " 

"It's not because I'm a girl?" You asked with a casual smile and Reiner chuckled shortly. 

"You kidding? Hell no...I know at least four chicks who can beat the stuffing out of me– yourself included." You both chuckled at this, and Reiner nudged you with his elbow, a gesture you guessed to be friendly. "Like I said...you're still new. I just don't want you getting hurt. I don't want _any_ of us getting hurt." 

You simply nodded, now having more than enough conversation to analyze and turn over in your head at night. You could feel yourself getting a bit tired from all the talking; but this tiredness was almost a welcome one, if that made sense. It had been...a very, very long time since you'd talked at length with anyone, and maybe the first time ever you'd talked to so many people in one day. It felt strange, heavy and light at the same time. 

"So..." Reiner added after a minute of silence, standing up; you did the same as the both of you made to head out. He kept his voice quiet. "Mind if I ask? What made you join in the academy so late?" 

"It's a long story." One you didn't want to get into, either. 

"Sorry for prying, but...how does something like that even happen?" Reiner asked, eyes suddenly wide and you chuckled as the two of your approached the rough circle of trees. "I mean...was it easy? How could someone just enter three years in, and still have a chance at graduating with that class? All the instructors will tell us is that you were taken in under _special circumstances_." Reiner paused, then hunched his broad shoulders a little. "Not that I...asked or anything, I mean...I didn't, it was actually someone else..."

"...It wasn't easy." You admitted, deciding to answer that part of his inquiry. From the way his words fumbled together, it gave the impression he wasn't used to asking many personal questions. "My circumstances are very...unique. Extremely particular, if you will." You shrugged, sending the burly male a smile in the darkness. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it...and it _is_ actually a really long story, so maybe another time?" 

"Alright...Yeah! Of course. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Reiner chuckled apologetically, giving you a tense smile as you both came to a stop at the tree line. 

"Not at all." 

The grass, tall and up to your shins in some places, was still green and malleable, as it was still early in the summertime. It swished gently as you entered the trees, where the foliage was considerably shorter; all your senses told you to be as quiet as possible, yet you were sure that over the wind blowing harshly through the trees above, no one would be able to hear you anyway. 

"See any light?" Reiner whispered, keeping close to you as the pair of you moved slowly between the trees, scraping past bushes with your teeth on edge. 

"No." You shook your head as well, noting that you had somehow taken the lead as you went deeper into the gathering of trees with Reiner mere feet behind. 

On and on you went, scanning, listening and even looking upwards, where you could make out the branches against the bare minimal lighting provided by the moon. With every careful step, you prayed you wouldn't accidentally step into a trap, deep hole or ant hill– and when you were both probably a quarter-kilometer into the gathering of trees, you signaled for Reiner to halt. 

"What is it?" 

"We haven't seen anything so far...not from this level. I'm gonna climb this tree." You tapped it lightly with your drawn blade, and then sheathed it. "And see what's ahead." 

"...You do that." Reiner allowed, drawing his own blade from where he'd kept it at his side. "Try and be quick." 

Quietly and quickly, you climbed, only slipping only a few times in the darkness before you were a few meters up. There, you stopped and looked around.

Nothing. Absolute darkness. 

"Anything?" Reiner hissed from below. 

"No....I see nothing." You murmured.

Right after the words left your lips, something reached your ears; more like a vibration than an actual noise. It skittered across your eardrums and set the hair on the back of your neck on edge. That ball of worry in your stomach intensified. 

"Did you hear that?" Reiner asked, surprising you. The forest was loud with the wind blowing through the trees and grass– the noise had been barely decipherable, even to you with your impeccable hearing.

"Gunshots, from the house." You affirmed, nodding and sliding down the tree suddenly. "Can they handle it?" 

"If they can't, they'd have sent out a flare...right?" Reiner asked, but his face was tense, worried as well. "Fuck. We can't leave Thomas...and the four of them should be able to handle anything short of an all-out ambush. Connie and Eren are fighters, they wouldn't go down easy." 

"I'll go back." You offered, already three steps in the direction of the house. 

"Wait!" Reiner grabbed your shoulder and you looked back at the big blonde questioningly. "Maybe I should go." 

"I'm faster." You insisted. "And you're right, we can't just leave Thomas alone. If things went well, he should be halfway into the woods by now." 

"...Be careful." Reiner allowed tersely, nodding with stiff shoulders. 

"You too. The trail ahead looked clear." With no hesitation, you set off, careful not to make too much noise on the way out. When you hit the grass outside the tree cluster, you broke into a dead sprint. The boarding house in sight, you forced your legs to move faster as you heard another gunshot go off. 

Upon reaching the house, you scanned the yard as quickly as you could, not wanting to miss any perpetrators on the grounds, and then crouched your way around all corners, gun drawn. You found no one, and heard nothing save a few muted, agitated tones from inside, but no more gunshots, thankfully. Eventually, over the span of a couple of minutes, you'd made your way to a window near the front doors and looked inside. Still well hidden in shadow, your tense gaze was met only with the sight of Connie and Armin tying up a couple of men dressed in all black, having forced them to the floor. Beside them, Mina stood, aiming a gun at their backs.

It appeared as though those three were unharmed. You huffed, sliding to your knees on the wooden planks of the porch and letting yourself relax a bit. You willed some of the tension from your shoulders and posture as you slid your gun back into place behind your back. 

All that was fine and well, but...where was–

Crouched there in the darkness, you felt a chill run down the back of your spine a moment before you heard the porch creak behind you.


	7. Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rushing to the aid of your classmates at the boarding house, you come to realize– maybe you shouldn't have been so quick to leave Reiner and Thomas. Now separated from your group, you and your two new partners must find a way to overtake and arrest the thieves in hiding...all the while trying to defend each other and stay alive! In retrospect, it may have been a bit harder than you'd anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is either going to be a slide-by success or a huge flop. :o I had _sooo_ much trouble composing this one guys, you don't even know the struggle, and Ao3 has been having a mental breakdown or some shit over the last couple days. I've been trying to have patience. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_Shuffle, shuffle..._

_THUD._

"Oh...you startled me." 

You murmured a low apology, standing up. A moment before, you'd been kneeling above a prone brunet boy, having swept his feet out from under him. You gave a regretful look when Eren rubbed the back of his head with a wince, grimacing in pain. The boy sat up, the old wooden planks creaking unsteadily under him. 

"That's what you call getting startled?" Eren groaned, sitting up and gazing at you with his big, blue-green eyes. "What are you doing back? We thought you guys would've already been in the trees and found the thieves by now." 

"We heard gunshots." You answered, and after a moment's hesitation, offered a hand to help him up. 

As he brushed himself off, you directed your attention back towards the window, swinging your rifle over your shoulder once more; you'd just been holding it ready to strike your attacker over the head. Gazing inside the window once more, you let out another deep breath and eyed the two men lying on the floor (one of them quite obviously unconscious), wondering if either of them had bullets in them. 

"Is everyone okay?" You asked lowly. 

"We found them under a couple of the bunks on the first floor. Creepy, right?" Eren replied, following your gaze. "One of them had a gun, but I knocked him out before he could hurt anyone. I'd have been more worried if he'd been aiming for the wall behind me– he looked like he'd never held a gun before." 

Taking in that statement, you simply nodded, watching the two intruders get shoved into an empty spot near the middle of the room. Mina and Armin both had their rifles firmly fixated on them at this point. 

"Do either of them have injuries?" You asked, and received a thoughtful look from Eren. 

"No. Aside from a few bruises, maybe. There's the one that I took out, and Mina kicked the other one hard between the legs, so he went down pretty easily." 

"You think there's anyone else in the house?" You asked, and followed as Eren gestured to you the doors. 

"I don't think so. We searched pretty thoroughly." 

"Then three of us should get back to Reiner and Thomas." You spoke in low tones as you and Eren entered the building. "They might need our help. I only decided to come back when we heard the shots." 

Thinking back on it, you regretfully admitted that it had been somewhat of a reckless decision. Your instincts were now burning with the urge to get back to Reiner and Thomas as quickly as possible. 

Had you _really_ needed to rush back here the way you did? Everything had turned out to be fine...and would have been fine, even if you hadn't come back. Maybe you had just let worry get the best of you? 

You chided yourself to be more thoughtful in the future. 

"We should head out quick, then. Get this over with." Connie stood straight upon your and Eren's arrival, grimacing as he picked up his rifle from where it rested on the floor. "We still need to hail the MP's after we detain as many of these jerk's as we can."

"We have one hell of a night ahead of us." Eren agreed, and you nodded, turning on your heel and making for the door directly behind you. 

"_______, what–?" 

"We need to get back quickly." You cut Connie off, turning the corner, and waiting for the two others to follow along. Hopefully they would be quick about deciding who would come. 

.  
.  
.

"I'll go after Thomas." Eren muttered, as soon as you three had reached the abandoned wagon, where you, Reiner and Thomas had previously stood. You'd already described to them everything that had happened up until you had rushed back to the boarding house. "I'll be quick." 

"I actually think both of you should head that way." You nodded towards the east, where Thomas had set off. "I have no idea which route Thomas took to get to the main camp– or if he even found it, but I know this main trail best. I'll need to hurry as well to catch up with Reiner. Hopefully I'll be able to find him again." 

"No." 

You and Mina both turned your heads to look questioningly at Eren in the darkness. He was looking toward the east, presumably toward the path your blonde classmate had taken. The outline of his shoulders gave the impression of ease, but his expression was tense. 

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone. You're still a rookie." 

"We're hardly able to say that, Eren. We're only cadets too, you know." Mina responded with a small grimace, not giving you any time to answer for yourself. There seemed to be a common theme with these boys– Reiner had said nearly the same thing. 

There was a word for this behavior. You just couldn't think of it at the moment. 

"You want her going off by herself? When she's barely been with us for a few weeks?" Mina pursed her lips at Eren's point, and gave you regretful look. 

"All that's fine, but I can't wait any longer. I'll head forward." You nodded, and began making your way around the wagon. "Mina! Please try and keep up!" 

_You had a bad feeling about this._

"Hey! _______! Wait up a little!" Mina pleaded quietly from just behind you, after you'd been hurrying into the trees for several meters. You tried to warn her whenever you could about an upcoming root or fallen tree –only tripping once yourself– but she'd managed to fall at least three times in the last five minutes. 

You suspected you'd long reached the general area where you and Reiner had stopped, just before you'd made your way back. He was no where to be seen (only to be expected, he wouldn't just stay put) but as you went further and further, with no sign of life still, you began to worry. 

You'd been gone for, what? Twenty-five minutes? Maybe thirty? A lot could happen in that time. 

"Sorry, Mina. I can't. Take it easy, alright? I won't leave you, but we need to hurry." 

_What is this feeling?_ You questioned yourself internally, eyes scanning every visible layer and splotch of darkness around you. Suddenly, you understood why Mina was having so much trouble in the dark...it really was on the right side of _utter blackness_ in these trees. Plus, you'd been rushing through the undergrowth for nearly fifteen minutes without rest, and the terrain wasn't what you'd call flat or smooth. 

The cluster of trees itself was only about four kilometers in diameter, not even a proper forest. How much further could their camp be? 

"_______...I'm sorry." Mina whispered, panting lightly from behind as she struggled to keep up. "If I don't...rest for...a second, I...I won't be..."

"...Okay." You whispered back, coming to a stop and feeling her bump into you exhaustedly. You steadied her, shaking your head at her hushed apology, and leaned against a tree as the two of you became still. "For a minute, okay? We can't separate. That would be too reckless at this point."

You tugged at a stray piece of hair lightly, not quite able to put your thoughts into proper words. 

"What is it?" Mina panted, only a few inches away as she sat upon the forest floor, giving her legs a rest. 

"...I don't know." You answered, brows furrowed as you scanned your surroundings and _listened_. "I feel as though..."

 _Something's not right._ You wouldn't say it out loud. You didn't really want to acknowledge it, nor did you want to scare Mina. 

"Mina, I'm gonna climb this tree, alright?" You asked, having a momentary flashback to when you'd done the same thing with Reiner not one hour ago. You hadn't seen anything, back then. Maybe now...

"See what's around?" Mina asked, and you heard her give a small sound of affirmation. "Good idea. We can't see anything through all these boulders and shrubbery. If we don't find out where we're going, we might just drop in on their campsite without noticing." 

"We're lucky the moon is as bright as it is." You grunted lightly, jumping to reach the lowest thick branch, and pulling yourself up, setting the bottom of one boot firmly across the wooden limb. "Otherwise, we wouldn't have gotten here so quickly." 

Pulling yourself up, and climbing higher for a few branches, you soon settled in and gazed through the foliage around you. Directing your attention to the direction in which you and Mina were walking, you squinted and thought you could see a very, very faint glowing from up ahead. Gazing at it for a few seconds, and looking around again just to confirm that you weren't making things up, you climbed back down and dropped into the grass next to Mina. 

"There's light up ahead." You murmured to Mina, nodding up ahead. "Couldn't tell how far...maybe a kilometer, give or take." 

"Okay..." Mina nodded, and you could _just_ make out her form in the darkness. "You think...that might be where Reiner is?" 

"Probably." You shrugged, hoping that the boy had made it there of his own free will. You hadn't stayed at the boarding house long enough to determine from the captured thieves how many were in their group. Was every decision of yours that day going to have unfavorable consequences? 

"Let's head ou–" You began, and then took in a breath sharper than usual, taking Mina's arm and pulling her behind the tree with you. 

You winced at the noise you two made, and the questioning noise Mina uttered before you placed a hand over her mouth. Huffing, you shushed her and listened hard; there had been no light, but you were _sure_ there had been...

"...wait until we can get the hell out of this part of Wall Rose." 

A _voice._

"I'm tired of sleeping on the ground." A young male voice complained again, from deeper in the forest a couple of meters. You let out a quiet breath, relieved and irritated that you'd been right about hearing people approaching. "And that black part of this forest is giving me some serious creeps. Someone tell me why we had to camp so close to it again?" 

"For the last time, kid, it's because it's the only clearing near the river _and_ closest to the best crossing point." A female voice replied; more irritable, and noticeably older than the male voice. "No one's happy with our sleeping arrangements, so just deal with it, alright?" 

There was a pause in which you could hear the group of people speak in lower tones, heading in your direction. They hadn't lit any lanterns or struck any matches, so hopefully they wouldn't be able to see you two when they passed by. 

"...When I tap your shoulder...move to the right, as quickly as you can." You whispered into Mina's ear, feeling the girl shift and hearing the gentle sway of grass as she moved one boot further to the right– in preparation to step aside. "They don't sound like they're afraid of being noticed. They probably have no idea we're here." 

"We're gonna fight them?" Mina asked in just a bit of surprise, barely making a sound as she sucked in a breath, pulling herself closer to the tree, and closer to you in turn. "Here? In the dark? It sounds like there's a lot of them."

"Probably only three." You shrugged, and gripped her arm tighter as the group neared. "I'll leave one to you...and take the other two. Just do what you have to, but try not to make too much noise, alright? We still have the rest of their camp to find before they find us."

"...Okay." Mina nodded, gulping, and you nodded in turn, feeling her long, soft hair run against your cheek. From this close, you could smell the faint aroma of the laundry detergent her jacket was so often washed in. 

"...It's just three." You whispered, not sure exactly why you were saying this. Maybe it was the way Mina shook unsteadily as she leaned into you, trying to keep out of sight. "Just wait for me to nudge you. It'll be fine." 

A moment later, and the group was upon you. Not a meter to your left, they passed, still chatting as though nothing was amiss in the world. Twigs and pebbles crunched under their feet as they walked by; not quite creeping through the woods, but not stampeding either. 

"Let's just finish this freakin' round." Another male voice sighed– older than the first, by far. "Then we can head back, and see what they've decided to do with-"

You didn't hear the rest of what he had to say, because they had already moved into the prime position to be ambushed. In no time, you had tapped Mina lightly on her collarbone, and had sprung onto the path the moment she'd moved out of the way. At the last second, however, your foot had gotten tangled in hers, and you ended up falling onto the last man on the path, instead of knocking him off his feet like you had planned. 

Growling, you swung your leg out after hitting the ground, striking the back of his knee solidly, and making him fall backwards like a cut tree. As he exclaimed in pain and surprise, you launched yourself over him, and tackled the second person on the path, forcing them to the ground. Not your most graceful move, but...

It worked. 

"Hey!" The woman under you shouted, for a moment not seeming to notice that you weren't one of her friends. "What the f-" 

Your elbow connected with the side of her head sharply, and she ceased speaking. Gritting your teeth, you darted forward and dragged the man up front down by the sleeve of his shirt, causing him to yell and lash out. 

"What is this?" The thief demanded, landing a hard blow against your shoulder. You winced, noting with concern the amount of noise coming from behind you. You knew the woman was down for the count, but Mina...

"Sorry." You managed, before pulling a fist back, holding the man steady beneath you with one hand still clutching at the fabric of his shirt. 

"Just...stay..." Mina was huffing, landing a strike or two against the man's chest and jaw, but nothing hard or quick enough to do any damage. "Still!" 

"Look!" The man gasped, trying to dislodge Mina from her position over him. Fumbling in the darkness, one arm held captive beneath her hand, the man threw one leg up and knocked her off. "I don't like fighting girls! Just get off, and-" 

Yelling in surprise, the only thief still conscious flew through the trees, propelled by one of your powerful throws. Scowling, you stood up, ready to approach the man once more, but noticed at the same time that Mina wasn't getting up. 

"Mina?" You asked, taking one step in her direction, and then another distracted one toward the man as you heard him running away.

"Help!" He yelled and you huffed, taking off after him.

"Stop!" You called, closing in on him quickly, and then launching yourself at him as he stumbled down a slowly descending hill. You hit him hard with a startled cry on his part, and the two of you rolled painfully down the hill. "Calm...down! I'm not gonna hurt you!" 

"Bullshit! Like your friend just didn't spend the last minute trying to knock my teeth out!" Something sparked to life suddenly, and you gasped as something bright and red sailed past your head and into the forest behind you. "You military brats..." 

"I'm trying to give you a chance here." You managed to say, pushing him back towards the ground when he attempted to lift himself off the mossy, rocky floor. "Why doesn't anyone take an offer of peace when they see it?" 

"Let me go!" The man demanded, more exasperated than angry or murderous. "Look, I didn't hurt your friend! I didn't want to– it-it was an accident! She must've hit her head when I pushed her off! I promise..."

"...I believe you." You sighed, and pushed his head back into the tall grass with one hand. In the faint, ruby light of the distant flare, you could just barely make out his features...young, probably only spare years older than you. 

"Help!" He yelled, and you scowled. Enough was enough...and you had Mina to worry about. Looking back at him, then back at the flare, which had begun creating a thick cloud of smoke, you placed a hand over his mouth– much more forcefully than you had done to Mina earlier. 

.  
.  
.

You crawled slowly forward on your belly– grimacing, as twigs, rocks, and fallen pine needles scraped against your exposed skin. You'd taken off your jacket as well as the strap of your rifle to make moving through the underbrush a little easier. 

"Dammit." You cursed lowly, inching slowly upon the campsite of the thieves. You shimmied forward as much as you dared (thanking the heavens the bushes were so thick in this area) and settled in. 

There was a small fire, in a pit dug into the ground, allowing for a bit of cover if you weren't very close to the site. Several men and a couple of women occupied the area...and off to your left, tied to a tree along the boarder of the campsite, was...

 _'Reiner...so that's where you went.'_ You thought, frowning, taking in his slightly bloody form. How many hits would it have taken for anyone to take him down? As far as you knew, Reiner was gifted with combat skills as well as pure brute strength...still, anyone could be knocked into unconsciousness with the right hit. One just needed to know where to land it. 

The blonde was gazing around the campsite, obviously pulling at his bonds, but trying to be discreet about it. A man stood nearby with a shotgun, not aimed at Reiner but pointed lazily towards the ground. 

You were about to back out of the bushes and move closer to your fellow cadet, when a ruckus began on the other side of camp. 

"Bastards!"

Every head including yours turned to gaze at the far end of the clearing, where the loudest person there was causing a scene, being forcefully shoved further towards the camp.

"I'll bet it takes a lot of courage for five guys to jump one kid in the dark." An angry, slightly obnoxious voice sneered from the trees across the clearing. Several other voices could be heard murmuring and arguing from that general area. How many of these thieves were there? "Cowardly-" 

Eren's voice was cut off abruptly when a man drove a hard knee into his stomach, and you grimaced. Glancing back at Reiner, you took advantage of the camp's momentary distraction and picked up a pebble, throwing it discreetly at the blonde cadet's head. 

While Reiner flinched in surprise at the pebble (which had hit his leg, going unnoticed by the guard) he failed to see where you were hiding. It took a second, then a third rock hitting him in the neck to make him look your way– but when he did, he looked around quickly, and then waved to you with one free hand. 

You smiled a little, nodding and then retreating a bit further into the trees after holding a finger to your lips. 

Reiner had only been pretending to be struggling to free himself. Meanwhile, the both of you watched Eren getting gagged at the other end of camp. You didn't see Thomas anywhere...

You tried translating some of the insults Eren was struggling to hurtle towards his captors, but gave up– noting with disgust that Eren would have to wash his mouth out afterwards. Who knew how clean that cloth was? 

"Okay, Mina...we're waiting on you." You whispered, keeping still as a statue every time someone walked by. There were nine people present at the camp, at this moment, not counting the two who'd just walked back into the trees. Four around the small fire...one guarding Reiner, and three subduing Eren with thick ropes. 

Not to mention, the two at the boarding house, and the three you'd encountered in the woods just a while ago. Fifteen...total? Damn. 

Closing your eyes for a brief moment, you readied your gun, and spotted a thick, rectangular satchel hanging from a tree branch just on the other side of camp. Food? There couldn't be any animals big enough to pose much of a threat in these parts, right? So, why would they hang their food from a tree? Let alone, so close to camp.

Wetting your lips in indecision, you slowly, slowly adjusted your position on the ground and pulled your rifle from its position under you. 

If that bag wasn't food...all the better. Noise is what you needed, when the time came. Mina was supposed to sneak up on the camp near the area where Eren was being held. So far, you'd yet to hear anything notable from that area (other than the brunet cadet's unintelligible sounds of anger) and no one from the band of thieves had looked that way suspiciously. All was going well. 

_Keep your cool, Eren. Just for a moment._ You thought, pulling one leg up as silently as you could manage, taking aim at the satchel suspended clumsily some few meters up. _It might've taken a minute...and it might not look like it, but...we've got this...all under control..._

_SPLASH!_

"What was that?" Someone asked, all heads turning in the direction of the splash. It had come from directly across the camp from where you lay in the bushes; Mina was supposed to be the one to fire when ready...but seeing an opportunity, you took it. 

Clicking the safety back, you aimed at the satchel of goods and fired. 

Just as your bullet connected with the crate suspended in mid-air, another shot was fired from Eren's side of the camp– this time, aimed at the fire itself. Good timing on Mina's part– she'd taken the initiative as well. 

It all happened very quickly. Almost too quickly to explain. 

"Shit!" Someone yelled, just as you sprung into motion, rushing towards the nearest thief of the four surrounding the fire and using the flat end of your rifle to knock them into unconsciousness. Barely sparing a glance toward Reiner (who had overtaken his captor easily), you set to the unpleasant task of incapacitating the thieves. 

After the first one, who'd gone down with no struggle at all, you had somewhat of an interesting time trying to take on the other three at once. Especially while being mindful of the hot coals and pieces of smoking, burning wood that had scattered form the fire pit when Mina had shot at it. 

One had immediately thrown a punch toward your face, and using a very basic movement, you dodged and sent him flailing past you while you struck the next thief's chest hard with an open-palmed hand. That thief, who was already holding a hand to his face (maybe due to the fiery explosion just seconds ago), stumbled heavily into his comrade; and right into Reiner. 

"Help Eren!" Reiner yelled over the thief who had fallen against him, yanking the man's arm back with an audible _'pop'_ that had you teeth tingling in sympathy while you rushed towards the other end of camp. 

Noting that the man you had dodged earlier was now grabbing at something from a large duffel, you landed a quick hit to the side of his skull, which sent him to the ground, unmoving. 

Upon turning your attention to Eren, you noted that he wasn't doing so bad himself...and two attackers were already on the ground. One woman was groaning and holding her head, the other thief crying out in pain as he held his foot, seemingly unable to move. The third, a big, burly man, was taking large, wide swings at Eren's head (Eren, who was gagged and bloody, but quick on his feet), and the fourth, who'd returned from the woods, was aiming a shotgun at the bushes where Mina hid. 

Taking aim, the fourth thief fired, and you heard a deafening _boom_ and crumble along with a shower of rocks hitting the foliage.

You exclaimed in alarm, and picked up a rock the size of your fist (in a half-cocked idea to gain his attention) and threw it, hard. The rock ended up hitting the handle of his gun near his hand, and he turned to look at you angrily. 

"___-!!" Eren was screaming behind his gag, as the armed thief set his sights on you instead of where Mina was hiding. Snarling, he aimed the double-barrel directly at your head. 

"No!" Mina screamed, jumping quickly from the bushes behind, and throwing her entire weight onto him. She wrapped her arms around the violent thief's shoulders, disrupting his aim, and the shot fired somewhere at your feet instead, an empty shell dropping to the rough floor of the woods. They both went down, and Mina took the same rock you threw, using it to beat his hand from the handle and trigger of the gun. 

Meanwhile, you had darted at the chance to help Eren, but were stopped when a large and unexpected fist flew towards your face.

"Eren! Help her!" Mina cried, a desperate arm around your previous assailant's neck, choking the man in an attempt to subdue him. 

Now, having been hit in the face quicker than you could dodge completely, you stepped back, landing a hard kick to the man's midsection– and frowning when it seemed to do little to sway him. 

"You're gonna need something stronger than that kick, little girl." The man growled, dodging one of Eren's kicks and rushing forward. 

Reeling back suddenly upon his advance, you let yourself fall onto your back, bracing yourself and taking in his surprised expression with a satisfied one of your own. His momentum was too strong to stop, and as soon as he was right above you, you kicked up with both legs, using your leverage on the ground and your military-issued boots to send him somersaulting overhead with a strangled shout. 

Leaping to your feet, you rushed towards him once more (deeming him to be the most obvious and formidable threat at the moment) and were surprised to see Reiner already on top of him, landing hit after hit to the thief's jaw. 

"Piece of....shit...thieves!" Reiner growled, spitting out a mouthful of blood as the man below him finally fell unconscious. "Dammit! Peaceful countryside mission, my ass!" 

"Hah!" Mina heaved, falling to the ground beside the thief she'd just asphyxiated, panting and groaning as she fell onto his forgotten shotgun. Her nose was bleeding rather heavily, and she turned onto her side, holding a hand to her face. "I hate...thieves. I swear, this always happens to _us_." 

"Tell me about it." Eren huffed, settling down onto the ground as well, evidently relieved but still angry. The two thieves who had been injured but conscious just minutes ago at his feet were now still and silent. Eren gritted his teeth, pulling the last of the ropes from his slender form, and throwing it to the side with an angry look. "Criminals, man...I'm telling you..."

"He took a shot at Mina in the dark, knowing we're all teenagers." Reiner shook his head disgustedly, spitting out more blood. "Hell, that bastard almost took _______'s head off. God..." 

"Wait a second." You interrupted quietly, looking around the area. 

Several small fires had started in the clearing, making your jaw tense with discontent. You'd have to put those out soon, to stop the fires from spreading. There were five downed thieves on the other side of the clearing, one at Reiner's feet, one beside Mina, and two next to Eren on the ground...

"Thomas still hasn't joined us...and there was one more." You spoke grimly, glancing past Eren into the trees beyond, and the others followed suit. "There were ten thieves to begin with...two walked off into the trees when that big splash happened, and only one returned."

"Ugh...!" Reiner raised a bloody fist to his temple, and then moved past you, stalking off in the direction of the noise, just past where Eren had been held captive. "Dammit! So much was happening...I can't believe I forgot! Mina, throw me that shotgun, would-"

"I don't think so." A rough voice said from the dark and Reiner froze in his steps, back tensing as a handgun was jutted into the light provided from the clearing. Just inside the darkness, two figures could just be made out, two splotches of black against darker background. "You brats have been more trouble than any of your lives are worth..." 

A tall man with long, graying hair and a rough leather jacket stepped out of the darkness. 

"You know, I've never really _gotten_ kids." The man drawled oily as he stepped his way into the clearing, gun now trained firmly on you instead of Reiner, who was only steps ahead of you. "As military trash, I suppose you think taking out my band of thieves is something to be proud of, huh? Is that what they teach you in that camp of yours? _Don't test me, boy!_ "

The last shouted statement was aimed toward Reiner, who had very minutely moved in your direction. The blonde froze immediately, putting up his hands with tense shoulders as the gun's barrel was jabbed towards his head once more. 

"You think I'm playing, here?" The thief snarled, pulling out another gun and aiming that one back in your direction. From the side, Mina made a breathy sound of alarm when the thief who'd left the clearing earlier stepped out with a wicked hunting knife, taking one step towards you. 

"If I want to shoot the girl, I'll shoot the girl!!" The head thief shouted menacingly, stepping toward Reiner once more, and both of you tensed as the other lackey thief advanced on you. "Now I don't wanna see anyone else making a move trying to play hero! This ends here!" 

Dammit! What could you do? There was literally _nothing_ you could do, short of trying to knock Reiner out of the way quicker than that bullet could strike him if you moved. What would you do? What would _Reiner_ do?

"You brats really are lucky I'm a merciful man." The older man grinned, stepping forward once more. "Some others I could name would take great pleasure in– _ahh_!" 

You didn't actually know what happened; only that the head thief had gone down rather ungracefully, and that Reiner had converged him as soon as it happened, Eren only two steps behind. A shot was fired into the air as the older man was apprehended; and you didn't have time to try and take on the thief with the knife, because someone else already had. 

"Thomas!" Mina cried in pleasant surprise as the angry blonde forced the thief roughly to the grassy floor. 

"Hey guys..." Thomas gritted, forcibly taking the knife from the thief and holding it to the back of his neck threateningly. The blonde smiled up at you two tensely; but was also soaked from head to toe, and covered in mud and leaves and a fair bit of blood as well. "Did I miss anything?" 

"Fucking...hell." Reiner heaved, lying down flat against the struggling man underneath him, now bound gagged with a rough piece of rope, much in the same fashion as Eren had been. "That was too close..." 

"I'm gonna finish tying up the rest of these guys before they start waking up." Eren shook his head, standing up from where he too had been holding the head thief down. He handed one of the handguns to Mina as he passed, retrieving his own from the ground where it had been thrown. "_______? Feel like helping out?" 

"Yeah..." You had still been gazing down at Thomas and Reiner as well as their captives when Eren asked the question. Then, you moved quickly to grab an adequate amount of rope from the pile where Eren had been bound. "Sure." 

All the while, you just couldn't stop yourself from thinking of how very _badly_ it all could have gone. 

Emergency flares were soon fired off, and the thieves were soon bound and being lead dizzily towards the boarding house at gunpoint. The few that could not walk due to injuries were subsequently bound and carried by Reiner, Thomas and yourself (something Eren had almost pitched a fit about, but settled down when you reminded him that he had been injured far more than you had been). Reiner and Eren headed up the front, while Mina, yourself and Thomas took the back. 

It was an unpleasant and admittedly exhausting trip, full of petty insults, every excuse for a hold-up imaginable, and four or five attempts by the thieves to escape into the night. What you guessed to be an hour after leaving the thieves' campsite, you found yourself at the doors of the boarding house, ungracefully unloading the fifteen captured thieves into the main hall next to their two scowling comrades.

As it happened, Reiner hadn't actually been moving to shield you from the anticipated bullets– but had been subtly moving so as to get the head thief to step forward and get caught in one of several snares Thomas had set. Reiner had smiled at you, and so had Thomas, blushing a bit and grinning in self-satisfaction because he'd actually been able to "catch" one of the thieves in his trap– and at a dire moment, no less! 

Armin's eyes were wide as he kneeled next to Thomas, helping him to disinfect a rough scrape on his arm, as well as dislodge some sharp rocks that had pierced his skin– along with a few pieces of glass. Sometime after finding the camp, Thomas had ran into two thieves near the river; quickly incapacitating one, and accidentally knocking both himself and another thief into the river, which is what had caused the big _splash_. 

The blonde held up the little spool of wire you'd given to Thomas and then eyed you curiously. 

"Well...she was certainly right about the wire coming in use." Armin murmured to Thomas as he finished wrapping up his arm, the taller of the two cadets watching as you held a cool, damp cloth to your face. You didn't really need it– the place where the big thief had hit you wasn't hurting all that much, but strangely, Thomas and Mina both had insisted on it. They said your face was swollen near your eye, and a dark bruise was forming. 

"The military police will be here soon." You sighed, taking the rag from your face and leaving it carelessly on a small table near the doors. "Probably just a few minutes. I'm gonna head upstairs and put out our lanterns, okay? Now that there's no use in leaving them burning, we shouldn't be wasting oil like that." 

"Yeah, good idea." Thomas nodded, and so did you, heading towards the top of the stairs tiredly. 

"Hey! Wait up, _______! I'll come too!" Armin called up as you were ascending the stairs. You waited patiently while he climbed the steps to your side and the two of you continued together. "Since you guys came back, Connie and Eren ran back up here to continue hailing the MP's from a high window."

"Ah...a good idea, I guess." You replied absently, lost in thought as the two of you reached the second floor landing. 

"They should've been back by now...what are those two doing?" Armin sighed, not seeming to notice your lack of interest at that moment. Only one thing was on your mind at that moment– something one of the thieves in the woods had said before you and Mina had apprehended them. 

As you came to stop at the door to the bedroom where Connie and Mina had broken a vase, you paused– and so did Armin, upon reaching the entryway. 

"I guess I can see the need for comic relief after all that." You smiled blandly, making the effort to chuckle briefly. "But...come on...you could have at least put out the other two lanterns." 

"Connie." Armin chastised the sheet-covered figure sitting on the bed tiredly. "You could've answered earlier when I was calling. I'm used to Eren ignoring me, but I was starting to get worried." 

"I'll get it, Armin. You can go." You waved him off, stepping into the room with Connie still sitting silently under the sheet as Armin walked off, mumbling to himself. "Come on, Connie, let's get downstairs...unless you have business in here, I'd say these lanterns have been burning long enough." 

You twisted the little key on the first lantern, causing the flame to die out abruptly. Smelling the strong, not altogether unpleasant aroma of burning oil, you put out the other two and turned, walking past Connie and half wondering if the jokester was going to hold his ground and sit there in the dark as you left. Exiting the room, however, you ran into Armin, who was pale and staring into the room with bright, frightened eyes.

"Armin? What's wrong?" You asked, blinking in surprise and eyeing Eren, who was standing right next to him with dark eyes and a frown. "Are you two alright?" 

"_______." Armin seemed to want to say more, but was having trouble speaking. 

Then you caught sight of Connie's tense eyes just behind the small blonde, and realized what was wrong just as Eren pushed you behind him and stepped in front. You turned, eyeing the now standing figure in the room as Eren swung the barrel of a loaded rifle into the entryway. The person standing in the middle of the room was still under the covers, but holding a glinting knife in one hand. They were taller standing up. 

"Hey asshole!" Eren yelled menacingly, and you drew your gun as well, subconsciously nudging Armin behind you in a more gentle version of what Eren had just done to you. Behind you, you heard Armin squeak as the figure giggled madly. 

"Holy hell." Connie muttered from the creepiness of it all, and you pulled back the safety on your gun, hoping the figure could hear it click into place. "Dude, that's creepy as shit." 

"Looks like we missed one." You murmured, stepping under Eren's arm and entering the room quickly. "Here I was thinking our surprises were over for the night." 

As the figure in the room yelled and rushed toward you, your comrades screaming alike behind you, you took a moment to consider your words. Did it feel like all the surprises that night had been spent? Actually...no.

No. It didn't feel that way at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried with this chapter. I really did. Tried to make the fighting scenes decent, tried to make the last part a little creepy, tried to finish this brief arc with this one chapter. Honestly, I creeped myself out a bit while writing it :D if you don't know, (I don't know why you would tbh) I'm a big horror fic/book/comic/movie fan, but the horror genre is getting so washed out these days. 
> 
> Thanks so much to those leaving kudos and comments! Mwah! Honestly, I adore the support, and every time I see someone saying they like/love my story, I can't wait to get another chapter up. I just wish I had more time to write! :) Hope everyone's having a great November so far, and if you aren't, I hope it gets better! If I don't get a chance to post again before Thanksgiving (for my American readers) have a good one!


	8. Take Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your intense workout regiment, past failures and converging friendships begin to take a toll on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! Glad to be back. Enjoy the chapter! :)

"Pick up the pace!" Commandant Shadis was screaming somewhere to your right, atop his high mount. "You think you're going to pass this class as anything more than titan-fodder, then move your ass, _______! _Move! Move!_ " 

Obediently, you forced your legs to move faster, overtaking five or six of your classmates on the wide path, and keeping that new, steady speed. Your legs ached somewhat, burning uncomfortably along with your lungs, but at least Shadis no longer looked so murderous. In the next moment, he was rearing back on his mount, looking for some other lagging cadet to terrorize. 

"Jeez, you'd think he could lay off a little, huh?" Connie asked as you overtook another couple of cadets. Somehow, you'd ended up in the middle of him and Sasha. "After the hell we went through this week." 

Panting a bit, your mouth open just slightly, you glanced over at the shorter cadet and tried shrugging subtly. With the movement of your jogging, you weren't sure if he could distinguish the physical response, but turned your attention back on the path anyway. At your other side, Sasha eyed you curiously with big, brown orbs, sweat dripping down her face. 

"Hey _______," the other girl began, seeming more curious than anything else. "I've never seen you even break a sweat in physical training...or, during anything, really." 

Your eyes turned towards the other girl in silent question. _Your point, Sasha?_ Connie now glanced over at the two of you in mild curiosity. The boy grunted, raising a hand briefly to hold his side, where he'd felt a sudden stitch. 

"Yeah, forget physical...training." The boy chuckled tiredly. "Nothing gets to her. Cool as a cucumber, even at gunpoint...apparently." 

"Huh?" Sasha asked, looking a little confused. "Oh, right...but that's not what I'm saying. _______, I've never seen you even break a sweat, so why are you drenched in it when we've only been running for twenty minutes?"

"Hm?" Connie inspected you closer, and your eyes became darker somehow as the other cadet's eyes widened in mild surprise. "Hey, you're right!" His voice lowered a bit, as he spotted Shadis closing in from his peripherals. "_______...don't tell me Shadis is still putting you through the ringer, even after what happened a couple days ago? That's messed up!" 

"_______!" Shadis boomed, a dark and menacing shadow under his hood as he pulled right up next to you and your two companions. Heaving a breath, you forced your legs to move faster once more, this time not intending to stop until you'd overtaken _everyone._ "Think you can take it easy because a couple of your airhead friends decided to run their mouths?! Not on my watch! Now move! Let's go! Let's go! I've seen rocks with more stamina, you worthless–"

Anything else he'd had to say was lost to the surrounding cadets as a bolt of lightning lit up the darkening sky, and both you and your commanding officer forged your way onward. While it hadn't started to rain yet, heavy rain was definitely moving in; if the swaying trees and the dark, congested clouds were anything to go by. 

"Well...you can't say she didn't ask for it." Jean pipped up lowly from behind somewhere, and Connie threw a deadpan look over his shoulder. Beside him, Thomas gave him a look as well. "I mean, you can't expect to enter _three years late_ and not–"

"Will you shut up about that now?" Connie ' _tsk'd_ , for once in a long while, showing a bit of annoyance at Jean's antics. Said teen as well as Sasha looked over at him in surprise. "Far as I can see, you're the only one complaining here." 

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" Jean asked, miffed and a little confused at being interrupted and called out. 

"Nowhere. I just think you should lay off a little." Connie huffed, eyeing Shadis darkly for a moment and wondering just what you'd gone through earlier that morning. "You and some others. I can understand why she's being put through so much; of course I can. The situation _isn't_ fair, and she needs to catch up with the rest of us, no getting around it....but honestly...." 

The short cadet with the close-shaven head looked around uncomfortably, scowling at the trees. He couldn't seem to find the words. "She's already come so far." 

"If you were an outsider looking in...you wouldn't be able to tell...she'd...come in late at all." Thomas panted from his position next to Jean. His pale green eyes were a bit troubled as well, as he watched you run ahead, eventually disappearing from sight around a gradual curve in the path. "The only thing she...lacks is...experience." 

"You can say that again." Connie breathe deeply as he too asserted a bit more muscle and tried to pull ahead, apparently done with the conversation. 

"She actually looks _tired._ " Sasha chimed in, causing the two remaining boys in their conversation to glance at her. She looked confused, seemingly still caught up on the little detail of _______'s sweaty face. "And so early in our daily training. Connie said...Shadis was still giving her a hard time...harder than the rest of us? So does all that mean she might've been running out here all morning?" 

"I wouldn't be surprised." Jean grimaced, feeling a bit of pity for you despite himself, but just a little. Yes, it would make perfect sense for you to have been training all morning– when else would you find time to make up for all you'd missed? He didn't exactly keep track of your daily routine, but he didn't recall seeing you at breakfast...or lunch, for that matter. 

Up ahead, you had just reached the front of the group, and were glad for it. At least now you couldn't see anyone's irritated or curious stares, and could pretend they weren't there. You'd just passed a scattered group of your classmates, most of which you knew the names of, and just as you began jogging at the head of the group, it began to rain. 

So sweaty and exhausted were you, that for once you were glad for the precipitation; looking up and welcoming it onto your warm face. How you wished for a cool bath at this point; you really couldn't believe it. Had Shadis actually managed to break you? Is this what it felt like to be overworked? Ever since you'd gone on that mission a few days prior, you'd been bombarded with a heavy barrage of assignments, both physical and scholarly. For the past two nights, all you'd done was study at night, take quizzes at the break of dawn, and then complete your own personal training regiment straight after. You knew it's what you had to do to catch up, but Shadis seemed to have tripled his efforts to make life hard for you over the last few days. 

You didn't think it would ever get so tiring. That very day, you'd been out in the forest since breakfast (when you'd stopped by the canteen early to grab some bread, porridge and weak tea. For once, you'd felt like eating, and had finished everything you'd been given before heading out to begin your physical training. From there on out, for the last four hours, you'd been doing push-ups and sit-ups, climbing ropes, and climbing walls with breaks being few and far between. All that eventually led you to jogging on the trails, which you'd been doing far longer than the rest of the class. 

God, your muscles actually _ached_. Usually, any activity of the physical sort was no problem, but you'd done _so much_ of it that morning...and it wasn't even noon. 

_Keep it together..._ You panted lightly, a little inconvenienced now that the rain had picked up and began making the ground softer, more malleable. _You know why you're doing this. You know why you have to_ complete _this. Don't get distracted._

You turned a corner, quite a distance ahead of anyone, save a few cadets behind you, and prepared to jump over a thick structure meant to imitate a great fallen tree. _Don't get dis–_

"Uhff!" Your boot slipped on the slick surface of the wood at the last moment, and you ate dirt, groaning quietly as you'd fallen on a particularly rough patch of pebbles. You heard someone call out from a short distance; it sounded male, but you hardly cared, opting to just lie there for a few indulgent seconds, reluctant to move. 

"Hey! _______!" Someone came running up– running, not jogging, and stopped at the other side of the cylindrical wooden obstacle. Tall, dark and shaggy-haired...Bertholdt. The boy looked at you in gentle concern, stepping over the obstacle easily and leaning down, holding out a hand. "Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" 

You gazed up at him blankly for a moment before sitting up with a wince, rubbing your shoulder blade briefly where it had landed on a sharp stone. Then you shook your head. "I'm fine." 

You almost got up on your own instead of taking his offered hand; but looking at his gentle, earnest face, you sighed and allowed yourself to be pulled up. "Thanks." 

"Yeah." The boy smiled a shy but almost washed-out smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Be more careful okay? It can be dangerous, running in the rain." 

You nodded, wanting to smile back, but just not feeling it. Instead you mustered the most apreciative look you could, which still ended up pulling your face into something of a grimace, before the two of you set off once more. In your clumsiness, you'd managed to knock the both of you behind in your respective places in the group. Annie, Mikasa and Ymir had run past in that order as well as a snarling Shadis. Reiner, who had fallen back to make sure you two were okay, began jogging beside the two of you. 

"Here I was thinking you couldn't make any mistakes." The blonde chuckled, his clothing splotchy and wet like everyone else's. "That's kind of comforting, actually."

Once you'd finally reached the end of the trail, some odd twenty minutes later, you were neck-and-neck with Mikasa, and just ahead of Annie. Reiner and Bertholdt finished just behind the three of you, and Ymir had long slowed down to rejoin her little blonde-headed companion, Christa. Once you'd finished however, and once the others were headed towards the main base, Shadis shot you a significant look, and you changed direction.

"Hey, _______!" Someone called from behind you, but you couldn't really hear who it was over the heavy rain. You acted as though you couldn't hear them at all and continued on to the ODM practice course; it was a five minute jog from your current position. "Where are you going?" 

Though you definitely heard the voice that came next, "Put a sock in it, Jaeger! Back to the barracks!" 

Later that day found you dragging yourself into the mess for a late dinner, barely getting there before the cadets serving the food were about to retire for the night. Luckily (probably seeing the state of you) they took pity and gave you a tray, even giving you an extra loaf of bread because of the late hour. Thanking them, you sat down at the closest table and drank half of your soup broth straight away before pulling out a few textbooks. Resolving to read a few chapters of each, you opened up a history text that you vaguely remember reading some years before, and took a bite of your bread. 

"_______! What are you doing sitting alone?" There was Marco...sweet as he was...damnit. You hadn't really hoped that no one would see you coming in, but this whole thing you'd committed to for the past couple of days wasn't turning out so well. Especially around certain people....you hadn't been able to keep completely silent and stoic around Bertholdt either. 

Looking over at him across the isle and a few tables down, you forced a smile and waved briefly, pointing at your book. Then you turned your attention back downwards, intending to keep it that way until you decided to retire for bed...or, until the sun came back up. 

Taking out a notebook, you began taking notes diligently, covering the most specific areas, as you were sure you'd remember the basics. You had a short mathematics test in two days, a biology test in four, and also a human physiology quiz in the morning...you were making progress. It may have not been as much as you liked, concerning your scholarly work, but you really couldn't expect anymore of yourself. You could take notes of more than half of a textbook in two nights and read an entire text and retain most of its knowledge in one, but even coverage like that had its limits. Thank god you'd been a book nut far before joining the military...Instructor Cals still said you were making remarkable progress, but it was hard to believe when you were left alone like this, with nothing to compare yourself to. 

Alone, but surrounded by people. At least that was as familiar as ever. 

"Hey." A small voice pipped up from across the table. 

You gave no reaction, but your eyes tensed slightly, and you slipped up when writing a 'w' giving it an extra mark. Pausing, you made to erase it, then realize you were writing in pen. Damn. Swallowing, you continued writing, slower this time so as not to mess up. 

"Hi." You responded softly after a few moments of silence. 

"I was just....wondering if you're alright." The blonde went on, and you glanced up to see that he had both usual companions in tow. "We haven't really seen you since our last assignment, and...." 

"You look really tired." Eren added in that soft but sure voice of his. "You didn't look so good earlier in training, either...which is odd, because I've never seen you so spent." Not knowing if that was a question or not, you just kept quiet. Through your peripherals, you could see he still held his dinner tray, and as you noticed this, the teen walked around the table to place it on the dirty rack; then stood next to you. "Can I sit?" 

Pausing, you debated only for a second before nodding and shoving some of your supplies aside to make room for him. Eren then took a seat to your right as the other two sat across...and suddenly, you felt very cornered, though you knew that probably wasn't their intention. Minutely, you scooted over a bit more and tried to continue taking notes. 

"That hit turned into a nasty bruise, huh?" Eren asked, leaning towards you to get a better look, and you stopped the movement of your pen on paper for fear of making an error once more. You didn't shift your gaze, but indirectly caught sight of his large, vibrant eyes staring at you from one foot away. 

_Why do people ask rhetorical questions?_ You asked yourself in what was almost an annoyed manner, staring down at your notes as a foreign, light feeling began filling your head.

Not knowing how to reply, you simply gave a small shrug with a smaller, dull smile and continued writing, flipping a page once you'd written a few more lines. Against your wishes, you were beginning to get distracted now...why did they have to sit? Weren't they done with dinner? The boys' third companion whom you were less familiar with seemed to be thinking along the same lines when you looked up; her dark eyes betraying nothing over the crimson garment wrapped around her neck. 

How many people had talked to you that day, asking if you were alright? How many times had you just nodded or shaken your head to their questions? You'd never had so much trouble trying to keep your distance from people, so why now of all times? 

.

.

_"So, uh....friends?"_

__

__

_Surprised, you blinked, looking at his outstretched hand. No one had ever asked you to be their friend. You weren't sure you'd ever had a friend before, let alone...two?_

_"Just so you know, I've never had a friend before...so I might not be the best person for that kind of thing." You hummed a brief chuckle, albeit a little awkwardly._

_"...That's silly. Friendship is easy." Armin responded lightly, a warm and relaxed smile overcoming his face; and a sparkle entering his eyes that you hadn't had the privilege of seeing before._

.

.

So...that must be why they were talking to you.

...Right. 

You wanted to keep taking notes, but since they'd sat down with you, you'd been reminded almost forcefully of how rude it would be to continue working in the presence of company, without giving them your attention. So despite your wish to focus on work instead of anything else, the manners that had been so deeply ingrained into you fought against that decision. 

For a few moments, you struggled, but ultimately set the pen down, sitting up straight. Having nothing to say (and nothing you particularly wanted to share) you simply sat quietly, looking down at your barely touched tray of food. 

"So...have you made much progress with the homework?" Armin asked lightly, and you hesitated before nodding your head. "Really? That's great! I know we haven't talked about it, but with how much work ethic you've shown in the past, it's hard to believe you'd be doing poorly in any area."

"Yeah, no kidding," Eren chuckled, leaning forward onto the table with one elbow. Suddenly, you were struck with a thought; it must've been Armin's idea to come and sit by you as the evening waned. You were sure Eren and Mikasa would've rather retired to bed if not given the suggestion. 

The thought gave some lonely part of you hope. Hope that this budding notion of companionship could be put to rest. 

It would certainly help _you_ rest. You hadn't slept since before the boarding house mission, and slowly but surely, you were starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation. 

Numbly, you noted that Eren and Armin had begun a quiet conversation over the table; something about snow and cabins. Mikasa had also shifted her attention to Eren from her seat across from you, and you breathe a little easier. A headache has started up behind your eyes, and you rubbed at them as you reached out to take another few spoonfuls of your stew. 

_There,_ you thought a little uneasily. _Threat diverted._

It wasn't _them_ you reminded yourself. You knew they only had good intentions by seeking you out at a time like this– much like Marco only had kind intentions by inviting you to sit next to him at nearly every lunch and dinner.

The problem was, ever since you'd come back from your assignment a few days prior, you'd been feeling... _guilty_ , to say the least. 

Your series of small but definite errors during the whole boarding house ordeal had been haunting you since that night. Now, you knew that some errors during military assignments couldn't be avoided; criminals didn't exactly make it easy, and no one was perfect. No one (not even a few military officials you could mention) had consistently _perfect_ judgement, and you were certainly no exception. 

What truly disconcerted you so much was the amount of trepidation you'd felt that night. More than ever, it was becoming evident that you had begun to _care._ More so than you cared about anything else; this time, you'd somewhat had personal investment in the safety of your classmates. 

Emotion in itself could jeopardize good judgement, so in that way it was dangerous. If you had made better decisions during the whole incident...would Reiner, Thomas and Eren still have been hurt? Would Mina still have gotten a concussion? Would everything have gone more smoothly? Maybe you wouldn't have ended up with a black eye either. 

If only you were immune to emotion. It was something you'd struggled with for a long time.

Suddenly swaying on the wooden bench, you shot out a hand to keep you from falling out of your seat. From her position, Mikasa's dark eyes shot over to you, catching the quick movement, but you kept your own tired gaze on the table– determined to keep it together. You didn't need anyone worrying about you. 

Damn. You hadn't been this...woozy in such a long time. Then again, it had been absolutely _ages_ since you'd been put through such an intense workout routine, not to mention the mountain of assignments that only seemed to be getting bigger, not smaller. 

On the subject of personal investments...you'd also been questioning whether this whole _friendship_ you had going on with your classmates was such a good idea. 

Certainly, leaving you alone would be best for them, wouldn't it? As for yourself...you didn't _need_ friends. You never had. Besides, if you only had _classmates_ and _fellow military trainees_ to worry about, you would probably make better, more logical decisions in the future. That fact alone would serve everyone well, if you were meant to spend the next year with these people. 

So, you found yourself wondering....was it possible? To...un-attach yourself? 

"What about you, _______?"

Startled out of your thoughts, you took what was probably a sharp intake of breath and looked up. It was Eren who'd spoken. From the look on his face, he probably knew you'd been zoning out most of their conversation. "Have you ever been to the snowy mountains?" 

"Um..." Thinking about it, you shook your head. Though as soon as you did, you regretted it; the motion only served to knock you off balance and cause you to clutch at the bench you were seated on.

"I know it sucks, but we're gonna have some difficult back-to-back assignments in the next couple of weeks." Eren grimaced. "Personally, I'd rather be out on the ODM course, but we _are_ coming into the final chapters of our military training." 

"We're headed to the mountains in a couple weeks." Armin added. Nodding sluggishly, you looked away and closed your eyes against a sudden, creeping sense of vertigo. "This'll be our third time on the mountain trails, but it seems to get colder and more vicious every time we make the journey." 

"It's not that bad." Eren chuckled placatingly. "Hopefully we'll end up in the same group again. After the mountains, we're headed to Jinae, that's where Marco– hey, are you alright?" 

You stared at him for a few more moments, blinking and trying to fight off your fatigue. Then you realized he was talking to you. "Hm? Oh...yeah, m'fine." 

"...You sure?" Eren's face was suddenly too close, and you leaned back; falling right off your seat and onto the dirty wooden floors. "_______?!" 

"Heh...I'm good." You chuckled, rubbing the side of your head where it had collided roughly with the edge of your seat, and then the leg of the bench. "Sorry."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?" Armin asked worriedly as he and Eren reached to help you up. Eren had stood and crouched by your side, as well as the blonde boy who'd come around the table. "I think you should go to bed, _______. Before you hurt yourself." 

"I knew you looked tired." Eren grimaced, and you waved off their concerned expressions, grabbing onto the cafeteria bench as you rose unsteadily to your feet. You shook your head once more, trying to chase the sudden fog from your mind but succeeding only in making gray spots dance across your vision. For a moment you wondered what was happening– but knew, logically, that it was probably just the exhaustion and the stress getting to you. 

"Look, exhaustion happens to all of us." Eren continued as though reading your mind. "It happened a _lot_ at the beginning of training. Plus, all the stress you've probably been under can't be helping."

"I'm fine." You stumbled, and without your consent, sat down on the bench heavily. Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced up and catching sight of Eren's concerned gaze. _Why...do his eyes look_ green _?_ "I think I just...need some air." 

"You're not well, _______." Armin chided, coming in closer but hesitating as you waved a hand over your shoulder carelessly. "You should be eating and then getting back to your cabin. It's almost curfew anyway." 

"Yeah, um..." You chuckled again without humor, swaying a little as you looked back at him briefly. "Yeah, I know, it's just that I've...I've just got other things to worry about. You know?" 

"Other things..." Eren murmured. _Like what?_

Feeling something heavy in your chest that had nothing to do with your physical state, you swallowed, placing a hand over an aching eye. 

"You should go to bed." Armin insisted gently, and your flesh burned where the blonde grabbed your arm in an attempt to steady your swaying. "Mikasa, could you–?" 

"No, it's okay...really." You swallowed, still swaying a bit, feeling your stomach lurch. In a brief show of weakness, you placed your head in your hands and closed your eyes against the sudden grayness of your vision. You knew you probably _should_ force yourself to eat, even if you were feeling nauseous suddenly, but..."I just need some air." 

Had you already said that? You stood up as quickly as you could and only stumbled a few times when making your way around the table, leaving your dinner, books and everything else behind. 

Your range of vision was rapidly darkening and narrowing into something like tunnel vision as you continued down the isle– paying no mind to the words of concern from your classmates. 

_It's fine...it's fine._

"Hey! Wait up!" You heard Eren's voice call after you, but you had already made it to the front porch of the canteen. Hearing footsteps approach from behind, you grimaced and turned the corner. Using the last of your coordination to get you around the building to a more discreet path across the camp, you disappeared. 

As you walked away, you could feel a creeping, tingling sensation skittering across the back of your neck, and your chest filled with a strange anticipation. Those three couldn't be far behind you– and part of you wanted to stop, loosen up a bit, and let them care for you. But a more insistent thought told you not to turn back. 

So when you were sure you were out of earshot, you genuinely bolted– booking it, away from the mess hall. Past the spot where you usually sat when you wanted to be alone, past the entire canteen and into the a dark trail behind the main buildings. Soon you were passing behind the courtyard that centered the academic sector, and edging along one of the education buildings. Running in the dark at this point wasn't a very good decision, but it would help you get away for a moment.

Just _get away...and clear your head. Then everything will be fine. Just find somewhere with no distractions._

Eventually you reached the front entrance of the main education building, which was never locked— so you made your way inside, running through a few dark corridors before slowing to a walk. Weakly, you collapsed against one of the classroom doors, panting. Sliding to the ground ungracefully, you gave a tired noise of pain when the door opened under your weight and you fell backwards, hitting your head off the dusty floorboards.

"Ughh..." You groaned, just lying there and hoping you wouldn't hear anyone walking down the hall, calling after you. You hoped you'd been quick enough....

What a disgusting display. Running from your problems like a child. Like a coward. But what else could you do? The questions they were asking, the care they were beginning to show...like accepting people was _that_ easy. Like it was second nature. It seemed next to _impossible_ to _you._

How were you supposed to deal with that? 

Shaking in what you were sure was exhaustion and malnourishment, you took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to relax. Half in a random classroom and half out in the hallway. Your head still throbbed. 

Gazing around without motivation, you spotted a familiar teaching desk and realized that this was the Titan Physiology classroom. Ironic...so this would've been the place you'd seen your classmates for the first time. Though on that first day, you'd been too focused on a brief period of sulking, to worry about making friends. Too focused on other things to really notice anyone specific. 

Back then, the mountainous piles of homework and textbooks had seemed impossible to conquer....more than that, you hadn't been excited, you'd been overall very irritated by the schoolwork. Not excited or even particularly interested in the prospect of becoming a soldier. It had just been something that needed to be done. In that respect, not a whole lot had changed.

Picking yourself up and crawling over to one of the back desks, the very same you had sat at on that first day, you pulled out a single wooden chair. You debated on standing up, but just decided on crawling under it instead— then you pulled your knees up, and stared into the back of the dark room, pulling the chair close as you settled in. You crossed your arms on top of your knees and sighed, leaning against one wooden panel of the desk. It was shaped like a box, with only one side open in order to let someone sit with a chair pulled up. 

Sat there like that, boxed inside a wooden frame, you felt a little better....and lonelier than ever. Relaxing, you closed your eyes– and before you knew it, fell into a deep, exhausted sleep. 

.

.

.

 _You cringed as sunlight assaulted your sensitive eyes, and murmured a complaint before reaching out to slam the door closed with a solid_ thud _. Hearing a deep, masculine chuckle from the other side of the heavy wood, you covered your eyes with one arm and waited for the inevitable_ slide _of the door opening once more._

__

_Something you couldn't distinguish was being spoken in low tones, and when the door did slide open again, you were still too tired to process the words. A hand smoothed over your hair briefly, and you felt your chest warm at the rare show of affection. Soon, you felt yourself being uncovered and lifted into steady, warm arms– and grasped for purchase with your small fingers as you felt an easy drop in the stride of the man currently holding you. You relaxed, feeling the soothing motion of his steps and allowed yourself to be carried._

__

_"It's time to wake up, my dear." That deep, smooth voice was talking to you again and you gave a small, almost annoyed sound of affirmation only to receive a sharp clicking of a tongue in return. "You're too young to sleep away your mornings like this, _______. The early bird gets the worm, you know."_

__

_"Mgh." You replied, slitting your eyes open and smiling when you felt an amused hum vibrate through his chest– a deep resonance complimenting the sounds of chirping birds and the gentle washing of water against nearby rocks._

__

_Lazily, you leaned your head against the shoulder of your (usually strict and unforgiving) mentor, and stretched an arm out behind his back. Feeling the warmth of the sun against your skin through the spaces between the leaves above, you held up a hand and seen the shadow of each leaf move across your fingers– the fingers of a child._

__

_"How are you feeling this morning?"_

__

_"...Better." You murmured, sighing as you closed your eyes again, enjoying the tepid wind blowing across your face, bringing with it the scents of exposed soil, warm foliage and fresh water. "Better than last week."_

__

_"I'm glad to hear that." A pair of hands steadied you momentarily, and you were set down on a large, smoothed stump, a makeshift seat._

__

_"I'm sorry I slept so long." You yawned and accepted the flask of water offered to you. "I was just so tired."_

__

_"We all get weary." Your mentor murmured, feeling the sides of your neck with his fingers and looking into your eyes. "With everything we've been putting you through, I believe it must be normal for you to rest for such a period."_

__

_"It hasn't been_ that _long, has it?" You asked, taking a drink and wincing at the stiffness in your back and shoulders. "After all that..."_

__

__

_"I would say not." Your mentor settled down in front of you on the grass and sighed. He was nearly as tall sitting on the forest floor as you were sitting on the stump. "But there lies the problem, my dear. We all believe we have time."_

__

__

_You hummed almost silently in acknowledgement and looked up at the white, fluffy clouds– mostly to get away from that deep gray stare that both comforted and unsettled you. Now directed upwards, your gaze was met with bright, cheerful hues of blue through the branches, and rich tones of green all around; and you smiled._

__

__

_Beautiful colors, the lovely melodies of songbirds, and the gently flowing stream nearby...water moving over smooth stones, unceasing...and you got to see it all, experience all of it, every day. As much as you wanted. It was paradise._

__

__

_...Almost._

__

__

_"I thought rest was the best medicine." You teased weakly, your heart dropping a bit when his much larger hand settled over one of yours. You knew what he was going to say._

__

__

_"Not for people like us." His stormy eyes flashed in the sunlight that streamed through the trees after the passing of one large, white cloud. "You need rest, that much is true....but more than that, you must rejuvenate yourself in_ any _way you can. Which is why I need you to try harder, darling– we must figure this out together."_

__

__

_Locking your eyes with his as strongly as you could, you nodded your head once. Yes, you realized your situation wasn't what you'd call_ fair _, but the both of you were so unlike other people..._ you _in particular, as he so liked to remind you. It was something you just needed to accept._

__

__

__

__

_"I trust you'll be studious when I leave for another charge tomorrow. I won't be back for a few days, and I need you to continue our studies while I'm away." You felt a hand on your hair, and hadn't realized that you'd closed your eyes. You left them shut, just enjoying the brief moment of closeness, and you were happy. Because you knew you were special to him._

__

__

_"You must take care of yourself...when I'm not here to do it for you. And you must do so in a responsible and timely manner. You understand, don't you _______?"_

__

__

_You nodded, now gazing numbly at the grass between your feet, and looked up to swear to him that you would do better– to make it a promise! You wouldn't let him down. No matter what, you–_

_"Sir?" You blinked, gazing around at your campsite. Your_ empty _campsite. The spot where your mentor had been sitting was vacant; the grass not even smoothed down or disturbed, but blowing freely in the breeze. You'd felt his hand upon your head not a moment earlier, but...where was he?_

____

____

.

.

.

"Where....?" You heard someone whisper as your head lolled slightly against a hard, vertical surface. You breathe deeply, throat dry as you slowly rose to consciousness, realizing it was you who had spoken. "Where...are you...?" 

You had no idea what had woken you– but when opened your eyes to the inside of a dark wooden box, the sight stole the breath from your lungs. 

Straightening rapidly, you felt the desk above you move as it was assaulted by your skull like a battering ram. You yelped, bringing your hand up to your head and rubbing the sore spot ( _another_ sore spot, you were insufferably unkind to your head). Numbly, you pushed the chairs away from the desk, remembering where you were– and how you'd gotten there. 

What a dream...why would you be dreaming about such things now? 

_'_______.' A murmur of your name. 'You must take care of yourself.'_

You knew why. It was because of _him._ No. You halted those thoughts in their tracks. You couldn't afford to be emotionally compromised, on top of everything else. You wouldn't be. 

For a moment, you just sat there under the desk, noting that the sun hadn't come up in the time that you'd been sleeping...that was good. That meant you could still get work done. _'There is still work to be done'_ your mentor had said...years later, he was still right about that. 

Slowly, you crawled out from under the desk; a bit stiff, but rested and feeling far better than you had when you'd run away from the mess hall, leaving your poise and dignity in shambles. Your joints shifted uncomfortably after the period of stillness, and you stretched after standing, feeling a satisfying ' _pop, pop, pop'_ up your back as you lifted your arms over your head. 

_'There is still work to be done...'_ Yeah, yeah, Sir....there was _always_ work left unfinished. 

Too much was riding on your success at this camp. You couldn't let distractions get in the way, no matter how deeply any issue might've been woven into you. 

Nodding to yourself, trying to fortify your psyche, you brushed your clothes off and pushed the chairs back in. 

Upon checking the mess hall, you discovered that all your items and supplies had been cleared away– and upon arriving back at the barracks, you discovered those same items sitting in a neat pile on your bunk. You glanced over at Mikasa's bed, planning to thank her the next morning, then turned back to your bunk to retrieve your books, and a candle. After your nap, you were feeling much better...and there still work to be done. 

The very next day, there was an update on the cadet rankings.

Out of the two hundred and thirty-two cadets who had enlisted in Keith Shadis' district of the 104th Cadet Corps, only ten could join the military police. Only ten could be _the best_ and cosidering how much everyone loved to compete with each other, it was only to be expected that there would be a lot of broken hearts and cries of injustice at the official monthly rankings. But on that day...

On that day, no one was angrier than one Jean Kirschtein. 

"What?!" He slammed his hands down on the desk hard enough to make the bottles of ink and pencil holders rattle, confused and highly offended by the new rankings. 

1\. Mikasa Ackerman ( _of course_ )  
2\. Reiner Braun  
3\. Annie Leonhart  
4\. Bertholdt Hoover  
5\. Jean Kirschtein ( _no real complaints so far..._ )  
6\. Eren Jaeger ( _fuck that_ )  
7\. Marco Bodt ( _should be sixth_ )  
8\. Sasha Braus ( _idiot_ )  
9\. Connie Springer ( _shorter idiot_ )  
10\. Ymir (?)

Miscellaneous, miscellaneous...

13\. Samuel Linke-Jackson 

15\. Armin Arlert ( _Pfff. Yeah, okay, whatever._ )

17\. Mina Carolina

18\. Floch Forster ( _laughable_ )  


19\. Thomas Wager

And then...

20\. _______ _______

"No...way!" Jean fumed, hands clenched into fists on the desk sitting in front of the rankings. "No way that girl has already reached the top twenty in just one month!" 

"Dude, chill." Reiner looked at him, a little irritated, though he couldn't deny that he too had gotten quite the surprise seeing your name on that chalkboard. "It's not that big of a deal." 

"Like hell it isn't!" Jean bit out, turning and stalking out of the room, leaving several people behind him in a second-hand fit over the rankings as well. He'd only been _joking_ about the new kid overtaking Jaeger. No way in hell did he actually expect it would begin to happen, and in four weeks no less. 

"Oh boy." Reiner sighed, Bertholdt grimacing lightly next to him. Of course, neither of them had any real room to complain about anything, all things considered. 

The following night found you once more sitting outside the canteen, not having the constitution to keep rejecting people anymore when they called out to you. Saying thank you to Mikasa that morning was easy; all she'd done was nod and go on her merry way...but if you'd been forced to talk to someone else....someone like— 

"_______?" 

You froze in place, silently hoping that he hadn't really seen you. No, of course he hadn't. From this spot, you were practically invisible. 

"May I sit?" Marco asked, coming in a little closer, keeping his voice low; the only reason for which you could assume was to keep your position private. 

Swallowing, you glanced at the teen from the corner of your eye, and then averted your gaze once more. Shifting uncomfortably, you wondered what to do. You'd wanted to be alone. For the last several days, that's all you'd wanted, but now....you weren't sure. Suddenly, some company didn't sound terrible. 

Maybe it was because you were sure Marco wouldn't laugh at you...or judge you too harshly. Was it selfish at this point, to indulge in some conversation? 

Marco crouched forward carefully, shooting you a small smile. "I can go back in...sorry if I'm intruding on something." 

"....You're not." The soft sound of your own voice surprised even you. Looking over at Marco in the dark, you found it a little easier to smile at him than it had been over the last few days. 

"Okay...uh, sorry." The boy apologized, as though he'd done something wrong. "You just...seem to be really down lately." The freckled boy said softly, sitting down just over a hand's width away from you. A bit close...but surprisingly, you found that you didn't mind. "Actually, just the last couple days. It looked like you could use someone to talk to." 

"That transparent, am I?" You hummed in amusement that wasn't genuine. 

"No. Maybe I'm just great at reading people." Marco replied, suddenly cheekily, grinning charmingly before allowing his expression to fall into something much softer. "Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps." 

"...I don't know." You replied honestly. 

That was something you'd been contemplating that night: honesty. When you couldn't think of anything to say in the face of manners or formalities, the truth would never leave you at a loss for words. "I've just been thinking..." 

"Mhm?" Marco asked, settling in more comfortably. A full minute or two went by of silence, but it wasn't awkward, and it didn't have an air of disappointment like you'd expected...it was _understanding_. 

"I don't know what I'm doing." You eventually whispered. "You know, I've never had friends before...or anyone to talk to...in such a long time. I've always kept everything to myself, but now..." You paused, feeling empty. "Now there are two people who've said they'd like to be friends with me, but the problem is...I don't think I know what that means. I don't think I can do it." 

"First...a question." Marco held up a finger, looks at you seriously. "I assume you're talking about Armin and Eren? Or maybe Armin and Connie?" 

"Uh...yeah, the first two, actually." You replied numbly, looking at him in confusion. "Why?" 

"Well then you're wrong on all accounts, _______." 

"Huh?" You asked, taken aback by the seriousness being displayed. "What do you mean?" 

"If you think Armin and Eren are you're only friends, then you're wrong." Marco drew his eyebrows together seriously, leaning in before breaking into a bright smile. "I'd like to be your friend too, _______. If you'd have me...jeez, and I thought _I_ was being transparent after all this time!" 

"Uh.....you?" You smiled, a brief breath of a laugh leaving your lips as your heart warmed at the sight of Marco's playful face. "Really?" 

"Of course. Why do you think I keep asking you over during lunch?" Marco smiled up at the stars. "I don't think you're as alone as you think you are, _______." Your eyes widened. How did– but you hadn't even said anything about that! "And you don't need to be some kind of friend expert to enjoy someone's company. Actually, I don't think there are _any_ guidelines for being someone's friend." 

"Well, I just meant things like..." You thought for a moment. "Things like _sharing_...like telling each other things, and laughing, and being close..." 

"Kind of like what we're doing?" Marco chuckled, and you stilled, realizing that it was almost exactly as you were saying. "I guess we can't be friends with everyone...I mean, some people just make us uncomfortable, right? For no apparent reason?" 

Hesitantly, you nodded. 

"But then there are people who make us feel better just by being around...right, _______?" Again, you hesitated before nodding quite slowly. "Then there you have it. Don't think about it so much...friendship isn't a contract. It's supposed to make you feel better." 

"But what if...." You breathe deeply, wringing your hands together. Marco just looked at you, not saying anything, not assuming. After a while, you felt like maybe you _could_ tell him. Maybe he would understand. "I...I don't know. It just seems to me that I'm not the type of person cut out for things like that." 

_I'm afraid._

"Don't be silly. I don't believe that for a second." Marco's voice was gentle, and sitting there in the dark, it soothed something deep inside of you. Like a cool balm over an aching wound. "I think you're excellent friend material...and if you're a little scared...or just shy...then that's _fine_. Everyone is different. If you'll have me, I'd love to be your friend." 

By now your stare had travelled to the bright eyes of the boy sitting a scarce few centimeters away. The floorboards of the wrap-around porch were dirty and creaky, and the canteen's outer wall was splintery against the fabric of your jacket. Your arms were so close you could feel Marco's clothing brushing against yours when one of you shifted. 

Strangely, you didn't mind. 

"I think...I'd like very much to be your friend." You smiled tiredly, brightening a bit when you seen his face light up, but also very aware of a tiredness within you that ran bone-deep. "Marco, I never did apologize." 

"That's— hm?" He'd been smiling brightly, but looked surprised at the abrupt comment. "Apologize for what?" 

"For telling you that you didn't look like the type to join the MP's." His expression softened at that clarification and a small smile reclaimed his face. 

"Oh, that? It's alright." The freckled boy chuckled softly. "You didn't say anything wrong. A lot of people have told me things like that." 

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I think you misunderstood." You said firmly, sitting up a bit, relaxing from your previously tensed position. Marco looked at you, giving you his full attention as though he could tell that it was important to _you_ as well. "I wasn't saying you didn't have what it takes...well, not exactly..." You searched for the right words. Were you making this better or worse? "What I mean is...Marco, most of the military police are horrible. They're selfish and brutish and they just want a free pass in life. You know that's why most people join the MP's...don't you?" 

Marco took a deep breath, and seemed to contemplate for a moment before letting it back out in a slow gust. "Yeah...I'm aware of what people say. Personally, I haven't witnessed any misdemeanors among their ranks _myself_ , but if they really are in need of reform that badly...maybe I can be the one to start that change." Marco's smiled dropped a bit before it brightened back up and he looked up at the stars. "If I can work my way up the ranks and stay there long enough to prove my worth to the king....what greater honor is there?" The boy sighed a soft, wistful breath. "I just...want my life to mean something." 

"You do mean something, Marco." You hadn't planned on saying that, but it felt right. "A few years ago. Yesterday, today, tomorrow....your life has always had meaning." You looked down at your hands, resting on the dirty fabric of your military-issued pants. "I believe that." 

You also hadn't planned on being pulled into an embrace. Honestly, you hadn't planned on touching _anyone_ more than what your training strictly warranted, but being wrapped in a pair of strong arms, and seeing a scattering of freckles across the side of Marco's neck in the low light....it left you feeling frozen and warm all at once. Hesitantly, you reached a slow arm up to lie gently across his back. And felt the warmth of Marco's beating heart through the worn fabric of his soft shirt. 

"Thanks, _______." 

.

.

.

A gentle breeze blew through the treetops after training a few days later. Sitting atop a grassy hill, you'd taken off your dirty, dusty jacket and slid out of your muddy boots for a moment to wade in the water of the nearby lake where the cadet corps usually performed their water training. After briefly washing your face and arms of sweat and filth, you took off your tunic for a quick moment to wash that in the crisp water as well. 

Sliding the shirt back on and letting it dry in the bright sun, you took your boots and lied on one sloping side of the hill, just out of sight of the main camp. It would be lunch time right about then, but you didn't much feel like eating. You'd have dinner later, you told yourself. In that moment, you just wanted to lie there and be at peace. 

Sighing, you nuzzled one side of your face into the cool grass— a nice accompaniment to the warm rays of sunshine. You weren't sleepy; you'd taken care to get at least a few hours of sleep the night before, but you'd still been up before the sun had risen. Due to the unpracticality of the date you entered the corps, you needed to complete the curriculum of the 104th at nearly triple the rate of the other cadets. You didn't deny that it was taxing at times, but worth it in the end, if you were to graduate. 

Nothing disturbed the silence. For a while, you just relaxed in the grass and watched a dragonfly fluttering about some odd meters away. You weren't tired, but you were drifting off to sleep when you heard footsteps on the grass directly overhead, at the top of the hill. From that angle, whoever it was would definitely see you. 

Shouldn't they be at lunch? Unless it was someone like Shadis, who was probably looking to smash your skull for stepping out of bounds and skipping lunch one too many times (or something of the like). Unwilling to move, and unwilling to give up this brief moment of peace to ask who it was and why they'd come, you simply lied there. 

But no deafening screaming came from the hilltop, nor did any other voice. There was what seemed like a full minute of silence before an indeterminable amount of footfalls descended the hill to your location. 

It was then that a pair of standard civilian shoes came into view, and the owner of those shoes settled down in the grass not too far away. You could hear at least one, but maybe two more people sit behind you, as you were lying on your left side facing the line of trees some meters away. 

It was Armin who'd come to sit next to you, within reach but also well out of your easy range of sight. In your space, but not imposing. Quietly, you sighed. You'd gotten your answer; it was quite apparent that they _wouldn't_ just let you drift away. Given the choice, it seemed as though they would choose to remain in your company. 

That had to count for something. 

You should say something. You should, but you didn't really feel like it. What would you say in the first place? You hadn't seen Armin or Eren in several days, since your mid-dinner incident, and the last person you'd talked to besides Shadis and Cals had been Marco a few days prior. 

Neither of the boys had said anything. They just sat next to you as you lied in the grass, boots and socks lying somewhere around your feet, and your dirty jacket lying somewhere off to the side. Your hair splayed around your head and your dull eyes focused on a point somewhere within the trees. 

In your upper peripherals, you could see Armin's blonde locks blowing gently with the breeze. You suspected Eren and maybe Mikasa were sat behind you. Together, the four of you just...existed. 

"I haven't been feeling like myself." Was what broke the silence; your voice quiet and a bit raspy. Almost nonexistent. Just as much an explanation as it was something that you _needed_ to get off your chest. 

You weren't sure you wanted to feel this way anymore. Isolation had always been the answer. But when Armin scooted a little bit closer, and you felt Eren's hand rest somewhere on the grass, close enough to just barely touch your shoulder...it felt okay. 

Together, the four of you sat under the warm sun, surrounded by blowing trees and grass. None of you broke the silence after that, for several long minutes, which eventually blended into the entirety of lunchtime and beyond. And when the three of them left for the corps' next activity, you left with them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if a few things aren't clear in this chapter, they'll probably be cleared up in future chapters, so don't worry. :) 
> 
> I recently participated in a week-long competition (that I didn't win, blegh) so I've been pretty fucking busy preparing for that since like December, and haven't had much time to write, however, since the last chapter I've been working on this on and off, and _man, have I been WORKING on it_! But the competition is over now, so I will have a hella lot more time to write. Yay! I've missed this. 
> 
> Plus, reccently, hundreds of unsaved documents on my iPad decided to just erase themselves into nonexistance, and that put me in a bad mood. It was a few months ago, but a lot of story outlines, unposted chapters, and the beginnings of long-ass one shots were unsaved and now they're all fucking gone. Vanished. Never to be found again. So I lost a hell of a lot of fucking valuable information concerning my stories, and I'll _never write the exact same thing twice, or remember all of it_ so it saddens and pisses me off to no end. Some of that shit was literally four years old. It's my fault for not saving to a second platform, but who fucking expects every single file to just be deleted out of the blue from their main writing device? God damn. I am so upset about that, and I was very depressed about it for a while, so I found myself not really _wanting_ to write for a time. Anyway.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by those days/hours when you are actually feeling just like our main girl. I think everyone has those times. You ever feel like you're tired and you just want to rest? When you don't want comfort, and you want to isolate yourself? You just want peace for a short time? We all need to take care of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally, as best as we can. It's a bit unrelated, but I've recently discovered that just the slightest physical contact with someone friendly, even someone you barely know, can make you _feel so much better_. It's weird how that happens. I kinda feel better knowing I can be touched by someone and not be rejected, if that makes sense. It's a comforting feeling. That's what inspired the final part of the chapter. 
> 
> Tell me what you think down below! I hope the extra-long chapter made up for the wait. Chapter nine is currently under construction, but should be up....within a week? Maybe even a few days if things go well. :) 
> 
> Be safe, readers! Be happy! Spring is coming! :D


	9. On the Snowy Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An endurance activity leads you on a journey across a white, rocky range known only as the snowy mountains! What surprises — and mishaps — await?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent the last few days editing this to meet my standards, and decided to post a bit early! :) This chapter had actually been in the makings prior to chapter eight, and I hope it didn't turn out too badly. It was actually getting so long that it kind of plateau'd a bit toward the middle, so I decided to just turn it into two separate chapters (nine and ten). I'm a little disappointed about that, but...what can you do? Also, I hope that our girl's personality didn't fall too flat this time around after all the wallowing, pondering and soul-searching last chapter. Her personality and character development is complex, and it's a work in progress, guys!
> 
> Hope you like!

Your breath met the frigid air in little white puffs as you clambered further and further up the snowy mountain range. The snowflakes that blew up towards your face, propelled by the almost violent wind felt like little shards of glass at this point. Where your skin wasn't protected by heavy snow gear, you suspected it had turned a furious red, or a deep pink by now. Your nose ran without consent, causing you to utilize a small, cold handkerchief you thought you'd never put to use. It was the reason you couldn't use your scarf.

"Just a little while longer, guys. Then we can rest for a minute." Marco called from the head of the group; actually, from just in front of you. "There's a rest shelter a short distance ahead as well, probably the last one until the base." 

"We can't be that much further away." Samuel sighed from behind you, and a few paces behind him, Jean huffed in what was either agreement or just his usual aggravation. You had been trying to widen Marco's tracks in the snow so as to provide a better path for your fellow cadets to follow. Marco slipped often, though he'd only fallen a handful of times; still he spearheaded the group, as he'd been doing practically since the beginning of your ascent. 

Ugh, snow. So much snow– sometimes getting so deep that it easily entered your boots, despite the fact that they came up nearly to your knees. The cold white substance fell in, past your thick, double-layered pants and bit at your ankles uncomfortably. You'd forgotten (curse you) to bring longer, more practical socks, and so the snow sat against your already cold skin until your supple body heat eventually melted it away, only for the resulting water to soak your socks and soles. Lovely. 

It wasn't _horrible_ , per say...but it definitely wasn't favorable either. You were grateful for the inherent stamina and fortification you seemed to possess...and you only thought this because you seemed to be faring better than some of your classmates. 

Sasha, for example, was looking more and more dead in the eyes the further you went, and at times Samuel would fall so far behind that you thought of turning around to make sure he was fit to continue. Only Krista's occasional soft encouragements and other comments signaling that she hadn't forgotten about them either kept you walking forward without turning around completely. 

The little blonde girl herself seemed to be doing surprisingly well out in the snow, and if not for the slight redness across the other girl's freckled nose, you wouldn't have been able to tell that Ymir was under any stress at all. Jean and Eren seemed to be doing alright if you discounted Jean's cursing, but Marco seemed to be suffering the same runny nose you were. 

The progress of the group was slow; maybe too slow for comfort, as the day was steadily beginning to wane to night. Although many lanterns would be lit at the mountain base at the fall of night, making the house easier to see, the darkness would also mean that your chances of completing the trail with a decent grade would get slimmer. The path and distant landmarks would be lost to darkness on a night like this; no light from the moon or stars would penetrate the cloudy skies and blowing snow. 

Many among the cadet ranks thought that just reaching the cabin base was a success, no matter how late you were. Apparently, some cadets had actually _died_ out there on the trails, victims to avalanche or hypothermia (or, on one occasion, a mountain cat). It sure put loyalty and obligation to the test, out there in the cold, especially for the leaders of each group. 

"Just a little longer!" Marco called, turning to face the rear of the group and pausing. "I know it's been rough guys, but let's keep up morale! I know we can be one of the first to finish this!" 

"Assuming everyone else is having the same shit-storm we are..." Jean muttered as he passed you by, bumping shoulders with you after plowing down a panting and flushed Samuel. "Sorry, Samuel..." Reluctantly, Jean turned heel and slipped his way down to said cadet's position, hauling the taller, tanned teen up by the scruff of his snow jacket before carrying on. 

As Jean made his way past you once more, you stopped to steady the previously fallen teen, worriedly eyeing the amount of perspiration forming on his face. As Jean began conversing with Marco in low tones up ahead, you began untying the standard black scarf from around your neck, shaking your head a at Samuel's protests. 

"Really...." Samuel breathe harshly, and you frowned in dissatisfaction, slipping off your gloves in preparation to place the scarf around him. "I'm okay...please, _______. Keep it. I'm fine." 

"I can't use it anyway." You shrugged, slipping your uncovered hands through his fluffy hood and hurriedly wrapping your scarf around his neck, making sure to cover his face. "My nose is running too much to put anything over my face." 

"Samuel's never fared well with the snow." Sasha panted as she caught up with the two of you. She and Eren hovered nearby as Ymir and Krista passed up the four of you with some snide comments on Ymir's part. 

"He could've taken mine." Eren said over his own scarf, eyeing you wearily as you zipped up your jacket completely and pulled the collar up over your chin. "You sure you'll be okay without one?" 

"Sure." You smiled over the rough material, then grimaced as you again wiped at your nose with your worn handkerchief. "The cold doesn't really bother me. Just my nose." 

"Thanks, _______." Samuel pulled down the scarf so he could give you a grateful look. "Sorry for the trouble. I've had a cold now for over a week– it's just making it a little harder for me to breathe." 

"Not at all." You smiled a bit over the high collar of your jacket. "Just look out for yourself, alright?" 

"Everything okay here?" A worried voice asked from a little further up and four heads turned to see a concerned Marco making his way down. "Come on, guys. We shouldn't stand still for too long." 

"Aye, aye, Cap'n." Sasha replied in as joking a manner as she could as she too quickly forged her way up the path to where Jean and Christa had also paused. Ymir was nowhere to be seen– but that could've just been because she was further ahead than everyone else. 

Marco made sure everything was okay, and that everyone was indeed fit to continue before starting up the mountain again, flashing Samuel a sympathetic look. "You know, I wasn't lying. The rest point should only be about a kilometer or so up ahead." 

"Good...but we shouldn't be long." Eren responded, gazing up at the darkening skies. "It's gonna be harder to move in the dark." Silently, you agreed, and wished that everyone had been more prepared for the hike up. You guessed that there were just some things that were unavoidable. 

You and the others had caught up with Sasha, Krista and Jean soon after, and walked in relative silence for a few minutes. All that could be heard was the deep breathing of your classmates over the howling wind high in the trees. It wasn't getting any warmer– and would only get colder after night fell. 

"So...anyone excited for Jinae after this assignment is up?" Eren asked, chuckling as Marco's head turned in interest. "Marco?" 

"Yeah." The freckled teen smiled lightly in what might've been wistfulness. "It'll be good to see the family again. It's been nearly a year." 

"Why would anyone be excited for that?" Jean huffed from beside Marco, throwing a glare over his shoulder at the blue– er...green eyed teen next to you. "It's just a restocking mission, not a festival or something." 

"Yeah, you'd be the one to say something like that." Eren replied in a tone of distaste, eyes darkening. "You'd do anything to keep us away from _Trost_ , wouldn't you, Jean? After that little spectacle last time–" 

"Would you _forget that_?" Jean yelled back, pulling down his scarf and turning on his heel so Eren could get the full effect of his menacing expression. "It's been like a whole year! That's old news, so drop it already!" 

Hearing the two of them trade insults over the wind and blowing snow made you smile. At least everyone had something to keep them distracted...and you'd wondered for a while, if Eren had always been so quick to lose his temper only when he had his friends around to back him up or keep him out of trouble. It – _"stupid horse-face!"_ –appeared that you'd been wrong. 

"Guys..." Marco breathe a sigh, but brightened up when he caught sight of you closing in next to him. "Alright there, _______?" 

"I'm doing great." You gave a small laugh and ducked your head when you were forced to wipe at your nose again. "All things considered."

"You know, I was going to show Jean and some of the others a few places around Jinae that I loved when I was still living there." Marco's eyes warmed as he came in a little closer to you so you wouldn't have to talk so loud over the wind and sound of footfalls. "You should come along. I mean, if you want to. It'd be great to spend more time together outside of mealtimes, wouldn't it?" 

"Um....of course." You replied, weakly at first, as though you weren't sure. Then you nodded and gave him a smile, as big a grin as you'd ever sported during all your time at the academy. "Yeah. I think I'd like that! You'll have to excuse me if I'm not as personable as....as I used to be. Especially around large crowds."

"Oh, don't worry. A lot of people get flustered in a crowd full of strangers." Marco grinned back before ducking his head. Unceremoniously and with a slight blush to his freckled cheeks, he ripped a cloth from one of his pockets and dabbed at his red nose. "If you wanted to come along, I wouldn't let you be by yourself, _______. What kind of friend would I be, then?" 

A few months ago, or even a few weeks ago, you couldn't have suspected that hearing those words would make you feel so...warm. You wouldn't have ever suspected to actually _believe_ them. The idea that someone like you could make a friend so genuine was...completely unexpected. Let alone three friends...because whenever you thought of friendship, you help but also think about Armin, and Eren. 

Eren who was now almost level with you and Marco, plowing through the wide path on your right side. Marco had maintained his proximity to your left, but was now caught in a small sneezing fit. 

"We all know where everyone else is from." Sasha commented from ahead, turning back to look at you, her bright, honey-colored eyes and smiling mouth just visible under her snow gear. "Jean's from Trost, Marco's from Jinae, and I'm from Dauper...but where are you from, _______?" 

"Well..." You furrowed your brows, not knowing what to say. You weren't really...from _anywhere_ honestly. You'd been a traveler almost your entire life. "I've...never really had a proper home. I've never stayed in any one place for long..." 

"You had to have stayed somewhere for a considerable amount of time." Jean pipped up, not at all looking impressed with the conversation at hand, while some of the others just looked confused or curious. "Come on. You have to have somewhere to call home." 

"I guess...." You grimaced, thinking back to the one place you'd spent the longest, the one place where you'd always managed to find trouble. If you ever had a home... "You could say I'm from Shinganshina." 

Of all the places you'd spent your time...you'd admittedly spent most of it in that ill-fated outer district. Not that it mattered anymore. Shinganshina might as well have not even existed. 

Suddenly, it was silent, almost eerily so. When you looked up, you discovered that almost everyone had slowed nearly to a standstill- and they were all looking at you. 

"What?" Eren looked at you, wide-eyed and a little...angry? "Really? You're not lying, are you?" 

"Eren." Marco chided, giving the boy a disapproving yet careful look. For your part, you were confused.

"Why would I lie?" You asked, as much to yourself as to the blue-eyed boy next to you. His eyes were definitely blue now– _then how had they been green earlier? Irrelevant._ But this was the second time Eren had gotten mad at you for questionable reasons. "I was just trying to answer the question– I didn't spend _all_ of my time there, just most of it. Up until...well, you know." You looked away from that piercing gaze. 

"Oh, wow..." Sasha uttered, looking a little shocked, but sympathetic as well, and she turned away. Next to her, Jean gave you a cutting look that was as much disbelieving as it was thoughtful. 

"Well, well..." Jean too looked away, his amber eyes having gained a new solemnity. "So there's another one. Isn't the one-hundred and fourth just _lucky_? That, at least, explains why you're such an enigma." 

"Take it easy, guys." Marco spoke up once more, a little more firmly this time. "Let's not have a repeat of last time, okay? Lighten up." 

"I wasn't there when the wall fell." You spoke quietly, watching with a bit of confusion how some of your classmates' shoulders fell in what might've been disappointment. "If that was what some of you were wondering. I was inside Wall Rose at the time." 

"It's okay." Marco assured you, his eyes now holding a deeper, sorrowful look. "Really, don't worry about it. It's just that we've met other people from Shinganshina....uh– Eren?"

"Yeah." Eren's eyes were dull now, and his expression had fallen into something dark. "I'm from Shinganshina as well...so are Armin and Mikasa." 

"Oh." You looked away from him, feeling guilty for some reason. Like you shouldn't have ever claimed to hail from that city; not if you hadn't gone through the same pain he had. But you hadn't _known._ "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." 

"It's not your fault." Eren shook his head and gave you a terse smile. "We can't help where we call home, right? Besides, I'm sure even if you weren't there personally, you couldn't have gotten out of the situation unscathed...right?" 

"...No." You admitted after a moment, your eyes downcast suddenly. Then you're eyes brightened quickly and without consent, wondering for a treacherous moment, if Eren...had he seen them? The Colossal? And the Armored? It wasn't your place to ask, so you averted your gaze and squashed that thought immediately. No, you wouldn't ask...not if he didn't offer the information at his own discretion. 

"Can you guys hurry it up?" Ymir yelled from the top of a high ledge. How she'd gotten up there so quickly was a mystery; where she stood, the snowfall seemed to have increased, and the wind looked as strong as ever. "If we keep dragging ass like this, we'll never make it to the base, least of all in the lead." 

"She's right." Marco sighed morosely, then checked to make sure everyone was okay before picking up the pace. "Let's move, guys. We can still make good time." 

You turned your head slightly to remark casually to Eren; you didn't exactly know _what_ you would have remarked, just that you wanted to say _something_ that could possibly begin a small conversation. This was typical of a friendly, social relationship between two people— but upon seeing his lowered, frowning eyebrows and the little creases in between, hovering over tense eyes...you thought it best not to say anything. You wanted suddenly to ask if he was okay; then again, you didn't want to upset him further...and you didn't exactly trust yourself not to bring up the subject of Shinganshina again. Following the confession, and despite your best efforts, it was quickly becoming all you could think about. 

Resolved, you closed your mouth and faced forward toward the ledge Ymir was perched upon. Forging onward through the powdery snow, you left behind a suddenly startled Eren and a chattering Sasha. 

"-probably haven't done this before, so the first team to reach the mountain base gets extra— um, _______?" Sasha turned around to see where you'd gone, as her hood had blown suddenly across her face. Turning a complete circle, she blinked her large honey-toned eyes and faced the incline of the mountain, where she saw both you and Eren, as well as the rest of the group hurrying forward. "Hey! Guys!" 

"Keep up, Sasha!" Marco called over his shoulder, and blinked as you plowed past him, shooting you a curious look. Soon, you had joined Ymir at the snowy ledge, and he resumed keeping track of the rest of his lagging team. 

"About damn time someone reached this point." Ymir blew air out of her thin lips, pulling back her hood to better get a look at the plain below as you joined her on the snowdrift. "Looks like we're in for a long walk around. Unless the freckled saint decides he wants to chance crossing it." 

Shielding your face form the blowing snow, you followed her gaze down and saw what she was talking about— at the bottom of the steep hill was a pond; frozen over, but of considerable size. 

"Great." Samuel sneezed from beside you as he too reached the highest point on the path. 

"What's the hold-up?" Jean demanded as he squeezed himself between you and Ymir, slipping a bit before righting himself and scoffing loudly. "One would think you'd never seen a frozen lake before." 

"It's my first time, actually." Samuel commented lightly, and you tilted your head, briefly distracted from your train of thought. On Jean's other side, Ymir sighed.

"It's not that, you idiots. I'm contemplating whether or not we should try and trek over it or go around." The taller girl dropped to a lower tone. "I know _Krista_ could make it across, no problem...but the rest of you heffers..."

"Why would we go around?" Jean demanded hotly. "Imagine the extra time it would take! We're already behind schedule as it is." 

"Calm down, Jean." Marco chided, sidling up beside the two of you and overlooking the pond with the rest of the group, who'd by now reached the ledge. "It's alright, guys. We'll make our way across. Jean, Sasha and I have crossed this pond a few times before; we've used this trail several times. Memory alone is half the reason we managed to get up here so quickly."

"You call this 'quick'?" Eren huffed from somewhere behind. "Anyway, let's move it. I was here last time too, remember Marco?" 

"Right." Marco chuckled sheepishly, throwing the shorter boy a friendly smile. "Sorry, Eren." 

"So unless the weather has had some drastic shift since the last time we were here..." Eren shrugged noncommittally. "It should be okay to cross just like the last few times."

"Ugh, _whatever_." Ymir shook her head in aggravation, grabbing Krista by the arm as the smaller girl accidentally slipped down the incline. "Boys..." 

Tensing up slightly, you began making your way down as well, followed closely by the rest of the group. Behind you, you could hear Samuel sneezing, Marco sniffling and Sasha complaining to Samuel. 

"Not even for five minutes?" The russet-haired girl was asking pitifully, attempting to persuade the other cadet to carry her luggage. At this time, you had taken position towards the rear of the group while the others trailed ahead. "My shoulders hurt!" 

"My entire body hurts." Samuel responded through a stuffed nose, and someone else sighed. Keeping your eyes forward, you heard the tall raven remark something about being nervous on the ice. 

"He's probably right." Jean scolded from beside you, surprising several people. "Let's not let our guard down on this lake. Just because we've had good luck crossing it before, doesn't mean we should be clowning around." 

After that, a few minutes passed without words or incident as the lot of you carefully made your way across the frozen plain. You took that time to briefly ponder the weather to come, as well as the whereabouts of the other teams. 

"Go on ahead." Ymir said after a few moments of walking, nudging the little blonde girl ahead with Jean and the others. Your group was nearly to the other end of the pond (which you thought, was far too small to be called a 'lake' as Jean had said). Coming to a stop, Ymir bent down to re-lace a tie that had come loose on her snow boot.

Pausing, you let the rest of the group pass by, and hung back with Ymir for a moment. Gazing around at the white, frigid majesty of the pond and its surroundings, you thought back to a much warmer time; a time in which you were a little girl wandering the poor streets of an outlier district...never imagining you'd be climbing a mountain in a soldier's uniform. You closed your eyes, and for a mere moment it was as though you could still feel the old crumbling cobblestones of Shinganshina under your feet...so different from anything you considered 'comforting', yet something you found yourself longing to experience just one more time. 

Wish as you might...you knew the likelihood of that dream. So you tried not to ponder it further. Still, that didn't stop you from thinking about those same earthy streets as you began trekking your way forward over the small drifts of snow, after Ymir had stood once more. 

"Hey." Ymir asked a moment later, just as you'd made to walk ahead. You turned to look at her curiously. "Did you hear that?" 

Stilling, you perked your ears up and listened; but heard nothing but the sound of blowing wind, and the faint shuffling of the rest of the group up ahead. That, and...just as you took another small step forward:

_'C...c-c-crack...c-c-crook...'_

"Ymir." You murmured lowly, eyes suddenly bright with awareness, and you caught the other girl's startled glance as she too realized what was going on. In the next moment, you felt a small disturbance under your feet and shot a quick glance forward to catch Eren's worried, questioning gaze. "I think–" 

"A-aaaugh!" Was all you heard before the ground (the _ice_ ) gave away under you and both you and Ymir plunged underneath the surface. 

The abrupt scream could've been from Ymir, or yourself. In retrospect, you suspected it had been a frightened yelp from the other girl, but in that moment, you felt like _shrieking_. You would have; if you could move at all. The water— it was...

So. 

Damn. 

_Cold!_

"Shit!" You heard several voices shouting from somewhere above, though muted with water and a layer of ice. In a moment, you'd been completely submerged. "Ymir! _______!" 

"Oh my god!" 

"Hold on!" 

"Ymir!" Krista was kneeling some scarce meters form the gaping, unstable hole in the ice, not sure how far she could go without falling in as well. " _Ymir_!!!" 

"Damnit!!" Jean was snarling, yanking off his bulky snow jacket and reaching hurriedly into his backpack just as Marco was doing, looking for rope. "Fuck! Krista! Jaeger! Back the hell away from that hole! You'll bring us all under!" 

"We've gotta do _something_!" Eren yelled back, frantic with fright as you two had yet to resurface. How long had it been: twenty seconds? Should it be taking that long for you two to swim to the surface? Everyone else was in top speed, throwing things and planning to pull you back out— why hadn't you come back up? " ________...Ymir..._ " 

"Help me!" Marco was yelling, crouching a few feet from the jagged opening in the ice, hurriedly tossing a looped rope next to the hole, seemingly waiting for yourself and Ymir to emerge from the water. "Be ready to grab and pull! Sasha! Eren! Can you see them?!" 

"No!" Sasha yelled from somewhere behind the group of boys, as Krista chanced getting closer to the hole. 

"I don't see anything!" The blonde cadet nearly sobbed, surveying frantically about the thin ice with teary blue eyes. "Ah! Wait! I see—" 

_Splash!_

Gasping and coughing up water, you emerged from the pond— nearly a complete minute after you'd gone under. Krista exclaimed in shock and hope as both of your heavily-clothed arms struggled to the slick surface of the ice with a wet _splat_. 

"_______!" Marco as well as a couple other voices called your name as you appeared, soaking and partially blue from the thick, sloshy waters. By this time, Marco had tears gathering in the corners of his frightened, wide eyes, and Eren's olive-toned face had long gone pale with trepidation. Nearby, Samuel was readying another rope, hands shaking badly with a feeling completely unrelated to the cold. 

For your part...you could just barely see anything in front of you. Such was the result of the icy shock currently coursing through your veins. Everything was a blur, and your head buzzed uncomfortably. Your snow gear was heavy, and you supposed, absently, that you should be glad your limbs were so stiff; for the reaction to the cold was helping you keep your arms atop the ice. Your chest _hurt_...and so did every part of you— or the parts you could feel, anyway. The majority of any sensation you could process was pain.

You could barely even move...and you felt that if you opened your mouth to speak, you'd only bite your own tongue off, for how hard your teeth chattered. Glancing to the side to search for Ymir, you were overtaken by a brief, violent coughing fit. Panting too quickly to get air and shuddering too hard to move accurately, you bit your lip on accident, and those in front of you watched as a few drops of blood fell to the slippery ice-rim. 

Where...was...

"Y...Y-Y-Ym...m-mir...." You muttered through violently chattering teeth, blinking rapidly and unsure of what to do. You couldn't think straight. Everything...hurt...your heart was beating...too...fast... _thud-thud...thud-thud...thud-thud..._ " _Y—mir_..." 

"Hold on, _______!" Krista cried frantically in her high-pitched tones, looking back towards the other as she crept forward a bit more; and as she did, your eyes shot to her small frame. Dangerously, she edged her way toward the end of the icy floor. "Guys! Help—" 

_Splash! Slosh!_

"Ymir!!" Came an excited, frightened yell as Krista daringly slid forward once more, reaching out a small, shaky hand. 

"K-Krrr-ris-rista..." Ymir had emerged beside you as well, though you hadn't turned to look at her. Muted words were being shouted from up ahead, but none of it made sense to you. "F-f-fuck-king he-hell..." 

Hearing something aside from the roaring in your ears, your eyes widened; and using agility you didn't know you still possessed, you shot out an arm to launch the smaller girl backward. Luckily, she was _just, foolishly_ within reach. Your soaking, freezing, gloved hand hit her chest — _hard_ — and the blonde flew back just as a rather large chunk of ice broke off right where she'd been kneeling a moment earlier; and you sunk back under the dark waters with Ymir. 

"Oh god..." Sasha managed, creeping closer and throwing one end of a rope to a stiffly flailing Ymir, who'd once again emerged again from the icy surface. Behind Sasha, Samuel clutched the rope shakily, watching as Ymir managed to get the rope under her arms. "Guys, this isn't good."

"Just pull!" Jean shouted behind Samuel, holding onto the rope as well, as Marco dragged a gasping Krista away from the hole's edge. Together, Sasha, Samuel and Jean began pulling Ymir from the water. 

Rising to the surface once more, (slowly, floating more than anything) you managed to claw one shuddering hand back onto the surface of the pond and pull yourself up, coughing. A couple of meters away, Eren lay flat on his stomach, reaching out to you with gloveless hands and wild eyes. 

"Come on, _______! Keep moving!" Eren was yelling heatedly, and your muscles seized up for a moment as you tried to obey. "Don't give up!" 

"_______! Grab the rope!" Marco shouted, appearing next to Eren, wearing a terrified expression; just as Ymir was finally pulled from the water a couple meters away. "Can you do it?! You're almost there!!" 

"Screw the rope!" Eren snarled, crawling forward until he was at a rather unsafe distance to the hole— and you. "Marco, get my feet!" 

" _Wha-what_?! Eren!" 

"E-E...Er-..." You blinked freezing droplets harshly from your eyes and forced yourself to move, shaking your head. You couldn't quite get his name past your teeth, which were slamming together so rapidly, you thought for a moment they actually might crack. Though, through the cold and pain, you found yourself still managing to think a bit slyly, ' _Yeah, that's just what we need..._ you _, going under as well_. He was way to close to the edge. "D-D-Don-n't!"'

"Just grab my hand!" Eren yelled, and together you managed to make contact; though he was doing most of the gripping. "Pull!!" 

"Hurry!" Marco added in a cry as the stiff body of Ymir was slid further and further away from the hole, to the very edge of the pond. Together, the three remaining able-bodies of the group pulled you to the surface; retreating toward the pond's edge as more of the fragile, surrounding ice gave away. Numb, but still managing to experience pain, you felt the rough edge of the icy rim assault your frigid body, even through the thick winter gear as you were pulled to the surface.

_It...hurts..._

"God..." Eren was kneeling beside you, a little wet around the knees and his entire front, as he had been the closest to the cave-in, crawling on the water that had splashed on top. "How could this have happened?" 

"Forget that! Just get some extra clothing!" Samuel barked as he rushed over after helping Ymir to the edge of the pond. Likewise, Krista had shot you a tear-ridden, guilty look as she rushed over to her shuddering, freckled friend. Nearby, Marco was blinking rapidly and hovering his hands over you. 

"_______..." He gulped, face red with cold but also pale with stress, giving his skin a washed-out pink color. "The checkpoint isn't close enough. We're...We're going to have to..."

"Just do it." Samuel breathed harshly in agitation, hands shaking as he reached out to unzip your coat. "Come on, Marco...we only have so much _time_..." 

"R-right!" 

Vaguely, you realized what they were talking about, and tried to nod as you coughed hard, feeling a stabbing sensation in your throat and a painful weight in your chest where your lungs were. Unhelpfully, you reached slow, unresponsive hands up to the zippers of your clothing; only succeeding in getting in the way as several other hands began ridding you of your gear and clothing. Of course; your freezing, wet clothing would need to be removed straight away...before hypothermia or shock set in. If it hadn't already. 

"I-I'm _f-f-fffine_." You tried to chuckle, somehow, deliriously, knowing the words to be true. Just...give it time. "Y-you g-g-uys...w-worry t-too m-m-much..." 

"Oh, shove it, _______!" Eren growled, somehow still managing to blush in his haste as he and Marco rid you of your last layers of clothing, leaving you in just your chest bindings and lower undergarments. Evidently, it was hard for the other boys to look at you as well, though Samuel did bodily haul you up onto his lap without hesitation as Marco and Eren slid a rough military blanket under your shuddering form. "Has anyone ever told you your hero complex is really annoying?!" 

"Look who's talking." You heard Jean mutter from somewhere nearby, but ignored it in favor of helping to keep your body off of the snowy pond. Your body...which was now sporting undertones of an unhealthy, cherry-like _red_.

You had no idea what they were talking about (you were beginning to experience a killer headache), but suddenly Sasha was hovering over you as well, having rushed over from somewhere out of sight.

"Hurry, guys! Those will need to come off too!" Sasha nodded firmly to your undergarments. The other girl's eyes were hard, but frightened underneath, and her voice shook shrilly as she reached for you. "J-Just look away for a moment!" 

Obediently, the nearby males closed their eyes and turned away, dry clothing at the ready as Sasha used a knife to cut away your remaining dress; some of which was beginning to freeze to your skin. You winced at the sting as it was pulled away, and gulped as even Samuel's cold hands and wrists began to burn your skin...you were _that_ much colder than he was. 

"I-I...can d-do it." You protested lightly as Sasha tried hastily to get a pair of thick pants over your feet and up your legs. With some effort, you forced your arms and hands to move; forced your suddenly difficult motor functions to obey you. "R-really, I'm... _f-fine_." 

"Like hell you are!" Sasha screamed, startling you as she gripped the shirt in your shaking hands and shoved it over your head. "Do you even know the likelihood of someone _surviving_ something like this? _______! This is so bad!" 

"It'sss...n-not that b-bad..." You tried for a small chuckle, and even chanced a joke as your previously freezing body began to settle down. At this point, you doubted you could feel much colder— and couldn't decide if that was a comforting thought. "R-really....it-it's like you—you g-guys have n-never seen some...one fall into a frozen p-pond before." 

"That's because we haven't!" Eren snapped, covering his eyes with one tanned hand as he turned to face you, a fierce scowl on his face. Samuel, having felt your shirt slide over his arms holding you close, opened his eyes and gave the others the o-k to open their eyes. 

"She's delirious!" Sasha cried, clawing at her hair before reaching around her neck to unloop her black scarf and wrap it around your face. 

"We need an e-e-extra," Samuel sneezed off to the side, trying to avoid sneezing on _you_. "Coat!"

"She can have mine." Sasha, Eren and Marco all said at the same time, and also began pulling off each of their coats at the same time. Guiltily, Samuel sneezed again and hurriedly wiped at his nose with a fallen handkerchief. 

"Sorry, _______." The tall brunet apologized. "I would give you m-mine, but I don't think I sh-should let you go. You need to warm up. Fast." 

Indeed, the brunet had you held close, flush against his warm chest; his snow jacket, short trainee jacket and casual vest unzipped and open. Nearby, Marco instructed, "We need to move. Send someone ahead to start a fire at the checkpoint!" 

"Already on it!" Krista called as she wrapped Ymir in more layers of clothing; much like Marco and Sasha we're currently doing to you. Coughing, you felt a pain in your chest, probably from swallowing/breathing in the icy water, and guiltily thought back to Ymir. Was she okay? You'd never heard her so quiet. "Guys! Help me get Ymir!" 

"Right! Come on, Sasha." Eren took off over the ice, throwing you a last, tense glance before rushing to aid Ymir as Samuel stood shakily with you in his arms. 

"I got it." The brunet carrying you assured, in way of brushing aside Marco's concerns as the three of you began walking. "We'll make it to the checkpoint...just move." 

"I...can...w-walk..." You protested, wriggling a bit before being pulled closer, your head being tucked under a strong, angular jaw. Against your best efforts, you coughed violently into one newly gloved hand and shuddered under the assault of the raging wind. 

"Not a chance." Samuel asserted, and you were grateful in that moment for the kindness able to be held in human hearts. "Just stay still."  
.  
.  
.

Several minutes later, another location found a shivering Jean Kirschetein— shooting a first and then a second red flare into the dark, snowy sky. Watching the sparking emergency flare, he noted how even from this point, even as dark as it was, the flashy object had become nearly completely muddled and distorted the more it went up. Narrowing his eyes in the face of an unforgiving and sharp wind, he let his arm drop back to his side.

Well...they'd done all they could. Now, they could only hope for a rescue team. But even if a team managed to see the flare...it would probably take hours, even if the weather let up. Placing a hand on his spinning head, Jean groaned. 

"What a fucking mess..." 

Rejoining the others indoors, he quickly stepped into the small, heated room and closed the door behind him just as fast. Shrugging off his coat, which had been recovered for him from the frozen pond, Jean's eyebrow twitched at the sound of Sasha's annoying, wavering voice. 

"All I could think about was how...how it wouldn't be the water itself that killed you by drowning...or the hypothermia." The girl from Dauper Village sniffed, wiping at her eyes and nose with a cloth. "But the shock of the cold water, because it would cause your body to s-seize up and...and leave you unable to move. Then what would we have done?" 

"Oh, Sasha." Marco sighed tiredly, but kindly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's alright now. Both the girls are doing remarkably well...considering." 

Regretfully, the freckled male scowled lightly and eyed your and Ymir's still shivering forms, though you two had warmed up exponentially since your fall. Neither of your features were blue anymore, just pinkish by now...he supposed that was a good sign. 

Grimacing lightly in sympathy across the rectangular building, nestled between Krista and Samuel in the small space, you threw Sasha a worried look. Sniffing, you discreetly nudged the blanket from around your shoulders, feeling more than a little hot at that point. Vaguely, briefly, you wondered if Sasha had lost a family member or friend to an icy death; maybe that's why she was so compromised by the incident. 

Try as you might....you couldn't stop shivering. Your skin felt hot, and your feet and legs by the fire even felt _painfully_ hot, almost as though they were burning. Logically, however, you knew you were still cold. 

"But that's why I was so a-amazed when...you and Ymir..." Sasha blew her nose into the cloth again and tried to pull herself together. The girl was less in actual tears than she was simply shaken and reeling. "You even _helped_ to pull yourselves out of the water. That's crazy. You shouldn't have even been _able_ to move. Most victims die not long a-after." 

"Oh, give it a r-rest, Braus." Ymir sighed tiredly from across the small room, her choppy words and tone of voice earning her several disapproving looks. "I mean, calm down. We're _fine_. Stop crying...and stop talking a-about us like we're _victims_ or some sh-shit. Victims to _embarrassment_ , maybe." 

"It could've happened to anyone." Marco spoke up comfortingly. "Unfortunately, it happened to you two. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Pff. Yeah, whatever." Ymir sighed angrily. "Tell that to Shadis and the r-rest of the trainee corps probably having dinner at the n-nice, comfortable mountain b-b-base." 

" _Your wellbeing comes before comfort._ " Marco asserted, drawing the attention of several people, including yourself. Even Jean's amber eyes snapped in his direction, but Ymir didn't even glance his way. Continuing sternly, Marco said, "Even with as well as you two are doing...you could actually _die_ on the way back if we moved now. We've been lucky so far; we'll not risk any more exposure to the cold." 

"I want to get back to the base as much as the next guy," Jean butted in, briefly throwing a smirk in Ymir's direction. "But Marco's right. It'd be best if we just stay here, and wait out the weather. Wait for help."

_Knock, knock, knock!_

Every head turned to look at the shack's door in surprise. A second set of knocks came shortly after, and Marco got up to open the door, as it had been locked from the inside to prevent the wind from pushing it open. As he opened the door, you were overcome with a sudden, painful coughing fit as a handful of cadets very nearly fell into the establishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to those who continue to give feedback and express interest in this story! It's a great feeling to know someone is enjoying this fic, and support from my readers always inspires me to write faster. Not only that, but I _love_ y'all, and I know how stressful real life can be, so I'm happy to provide a bit of entertainment and comfort where our favorite characters are concerned. I know how badly _I_ wish that some of my favorite stories were being continued. 
> 
> Until next time, Readers! Which shouldn't be too long. :D I hope you're having a great start to the year. Be safe, and hang in there! Spring is coming!


	10. Eren Jaeger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freezing but alive, you've reached the relative safety of a small rest cabin. Unexpected events give you a chance to bond with someone who'd puzzled you from the moment you met him— though said bonding forces you to think back on painful memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Spring!!! :D 
> 
> A big thanks to those who continue to support my story. You're the best. I don't know how well this chapter will be received, but I worked _so_ hard on it, and somehow it turned out extra lengthy. Hope you enjoy.

"Well. Not exactly the rescue party I was hoping for." Jean grimaced, shying away from the first stumbling cadet who fell somewhere at his feet. Irritably, he leaned his head back against the wall and muttered, "Wake me up when we're leaving." 

Vaguely, you noticed that three people had fallen into the shack. Well, it looked like two of them had, at least. You sort of stopped paying attention about then, although you were physically aware of the words they spoke. It sounded like all three were probably male. 

Weary, you rested your eyes on the small fire, it's smoke escaping through thin vents near the low ceiling. It was so cold, especially now that the door had been opened. Having forgotten about her momentarily, you wondered how Ymir was faring. Did she feel as though the icy pond had turned her into some kind of doll or hollow sculpture, with skin as fragile and rigid as a shell of porcelain? You felt that way. 

Even knowing how inherently resilient you were to injuries and illness, you wondered— would the effects of freezing in the pond, however mild, be long withstanding? Your nose was still runny (no surprise there) and the heat from the fire seemed to only be burning your skin without truly warming you. 

_I'd often wished for comfort when I was a child_ , you thought somewhat miserably. _It might've been easier for me to ask for it back then...though I never did. I rarely made my pain known to others, even at such a young age._ Yes, it was a wistful thought, but you didn't think you could force yourself to comment on it. How would you even voice a question like that? 

Fleetingly, you found yourself entertaining the wish that Samuel would hold you close again. It'd felt nice. Though his warm skin had burned strongly at first, you'd gotten used to it in a few minutes, and it had almost managed to calm the shivering in your frigid body. Even Marco...who, although blush-prone, you _knew_ would embrace you, maybe even without hesitation if he knew it would help your discomfort. It still hurt. 

These, however, were short-lived thoughts, that faded away like the smoke dissipating through the ceiling. 

"Ow! You landed on my ankle, dumbass!" Jean grabbed at his assaulted body part and glared at the close-shaven cadet in front of him who'd just slipped and fallen a second time. Actually, this time, Connie had also nearly fallen into the fire. 

"Sorry." Connie replied reluctantly, gazing around at the small band of cadets; each in varying states of undress and wetness, each wearing exhausted expressions. "What happened to you guys?" 

"The frozen pond happened." Sasha offered glumly, draping an extra throw blanket over Ymir's rigid legs, drawn to her chest. The freckled girl offered no response, but Krista tucked the blanket around her more securely, and Ymir let out the smallest of sighs. 

"You guys fell in?" Nack Tias, the second of the cadets to enter, asked in surprise and unconcealed concern. "Damn. That's pretty bad." 

"Two of our group did." Krista responded, scooting closer to her brunet friend, and shooting you a worried look over the fire. Your eyes were a bit glazed, and your shoulders swayed slightly as you stared into nothingness. "Ymir and _______." 

"We saw your emergency flare." Nack coughed, the admission a bit overdue as he settled into the small shack— which really wasn't meant for so many people. "Decided to drop in." 

"What's up with you guys?" Samuel demanded suddenly from flush next to you. "Where's the rest of your group?" 

"We got split up not long ago." Mylius Zeramuski replied quietly from behind his taller friend, and blew his nose in an already well-used kerchief as he crouched low to the hearth. His ashen hair gleamed like brushed nickel, bathed in an orange sheen from the low flames. 

"Hey." He added, eyeing you distractedly but worriedly, though you still hadn't taken notice of the conversation at hand. "I don't think anyone who just fell in the lake should be falling asleep so soon." 

"Oh!" Marco's gaze snapped to Ymir, then to you, as did the eyes of several others. Most wore expressions of worry. "That's right. _______? You're nodding off." When no response came from your dazed form, your eyes just barely open, Marco leaned forward a bit in alarm. "_______? Can you hear me?"

Lost in thought and discomfort, you didn't catch on to the meaning of his words— not until you found yourself suddenly being shaken by a fierce, russet-headed cadet. 

"Talk to me, _______!" Sasha shook you mercilessly, startling you and several others to look in your direction; you hadn't realized you'd been falling asleep. "You can't go out like this! How many fingers am I holding up?" 

"She's not _going out_ you doltz." The boy with the close-shaven head eyed his friend in brief annoyance, coming closer to settle somewhere next to Samuel. "She's probably just worn out. Give her some recovery time." 

"Actually, I'd feel better if you stayed awake as well." Marco crouched forward, touching your shoulder carefully as you blinked wearily, startled after the sudden assault. "_______? You okay there?" 

"Yeah...m' fine." You nodded, staring into the fire blandly as though bored– truthfully, you were just freezing, and unable to focus as usual. Coughing, you winced as you cleared a throat that felt like you'd just swallowed a handful of splinters. "S-sorry. Did I m-miss anything?" 

"Well, we're here." Nack spoke up quietly, shooting you a smile that you didn't have the energy to return in full. "I'd like to think that's a grand event." 

"How do you feel?" Samuel asked from next to you, his soft but deep voice washing over you. You shifted, not quite feeling your toes. 

"Okay." You lied. "Don't w-worry about me." 

"Don't be stupid, _______." Jean spoke up wearily from the adjacent wall, surprising you. Your eyes met his briefly before he looked away in mild irritation. "You could've died. Just try and stay awake." 

"Talk to us." Connie suggested, and with a start, you realized how close he was. Shrinking back just a little in the face of everyone's stares, you pulled your scarf a little further up your face. In the back of your mind, some part of you realized that you could now feel the softness of the fabric, rather than just a vague sensation. "It's one way to stay awake. How are you liking the mountains so far?" 

"I'm s-sure she's finding them j-just _peachy_ , Springer." Ymir grated and Connie blushed, shaking a threatening fist in the smirking girl's direction as he yelled some collection of obscenities in her face. You coughed uncontrollably again, and all eyes shifted to you. This time, you were a little more prepared for the stares. 

"It's...okay." You smiled and hummed in mild amusement, glad to see some of your peer's faces soften. "If you discount the f-freezing lake...it actually isn't t-too b-bad out here." 

Ignoring Jean's snort, Connie nodded and settled back down. "That's the spirit. See? Keep up that morale, and you'll be better in no time, _______. If anyone can pull it together, it's you." 

"Please. Keep the conversation on something stimulating, yeah? You'll put her to sleep quicker with all these empty compliments."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Connie demanded of Nack, turning on him as quickly as he'd turned on Ymir. Several chuckles could be heard around the room. "And who's compliments are you calling empty?" 

"So...um...I hear we're going to Jinae soon, _______." Each pair of eyes shifted to Mylius' flushed form crouched near the doorway. His slate blue eyes flashed at you a bit bashfully as he ducked his head, obviously not used to so much attention either. "Got...any family nearby?" 

"Um...n-no." You smiled as kind a smile as you could manage, and succeeded in choking down another wicked coughing spell. "I don't." 

"So where do you come from?" Nack inquired next, seeming to jump right into the conversation with ease as he too settled to the ground a bit too close to the fire. "I come from Kanarese, and so does Mylius here. Hannah Diamant and Ruth Kline also hail from that region, if you know who they are."

"I do." You swallowed, bowing your head once, thinking of the sandy-haired girl who bunked in your barrack, and the dark-haired one who stayed in another. Mina Carolina had also mentioned that Kanarese was her home town. 

Not looking forward to any reaction from the three newest cadets who had no idea where you 'came from', you opened your mouth almost ruefully to answer, "I-"

"Oh, shit!" Nack exclaimed suddenly, startling everyone. "I completely forgot! You guys, we should be getting back to the base as soon as we can!" 

"That's right! Damn it!" Connie slammed a fist into his knee as he stood up, looking agitated. "Before we split from the other group, the weather was getting terrible. Franz and some of the others were saying we should hurry to the base, because it's probably only going to get worse." 

"Even Shadis was saying something like that." Marco admitted regretfully, studying you and Ymir with a look of strong trepidation on his face. "Even so, I don't think we should move...Ymir and _______ may not be well enough." 

"If we don't, it'll probably prove to be a mistake in the long run." A new voice spoke, and your tired eyes shifted to Eren, who'd been oddly silent and well-behaved this whole time. "If the storm really is picking up, we could be stuck out here until it decides to blow over...and who knows how long that'll be?" 

"Or how often we'll need to go out to get firewood, collect snow, or piss." Jean sighed, surprising more than one person in the little shack by agreeing with Eren. "How warm or hospitable would it be here actually? If we have to keep opening the door to get in and out. The main base is only a handful of kilometers away. We could make it." 

"They'll be able to get better care there." Nack agreed, studying Ymir and yourself respectively with a light grimace, looking regretful. "Can you two walk? The final stretch?" 

"Yes." Both of you answered at once, but instead of looking relieved, most of your fellow cadets just looked disconcerted. Immediately, you began looking for the extra pair of boots given to you by Marco– as team leader, he was in charge of things like that. 

They were a couple sizes too big for you, but with the extra socks you were to wear, it would work out fine. At least your feet and toes wouldn't be surrounded by the sloshy, icy water no doubt still trapped in your own boots. As you forced your stiff limbs to move and begin dressing yourself in your new, heavy gear, you heard Sasha on the other side of the shack grumbling as she helped Krista dress Ymir. 

"The whole point of wearing this winter gear is for the puffy material to lock out the cold and trap body heat." The redhead was muttering, loudly. "If these two don't have any body heat, what good is it? The wind will blow right through to their bones out there."

"Then we'll just have to keep the wind from touching them." Eren responded, and you felt a new scarf wrap warmly around your neck. From its warmth, you guessed that he'd just taken it from around his own neck. 

Turning to face him, you smiled your thanks. When he smiled back, his eyes were green. 

Soon, all eleven of you found yourselves hiking through the mountain trails– this time, a lot faster than you had been previously. Marco led the group, and in nearly a single-file line, the cadets of the 104th plowed their way through the tall snow, with Ymir and yourself situated firmly in the center of the group. 

At first, the cold hardly touched you, as Eren had mentioned just before the lot of you had departed. Every part of you was covered, except for a slit left open for your eyes. However, around the fifteen minute mark of hiking through the cold, you began feeling that disturbing, painful numbness overtaking your flesh once more. Sasha may have had a point...what good was insulating body gear if said body didn't have any heat in the first place? You'd known this would happen from the moment you left the rest cabin. 

But, what could you do? You couldn't let everyone stay there because you felt cold. And although you didn't ask, you knew better than to think Ymir would suggest anything like that either. So, you kept hiking...and after a while, forcing your legs to move became less of a strenuous effort and more of a routine movement. That was good. 

"How are you holding up?" Connie asked from somewhere behind you, and you glanced back to confirm that he was speaking to you. 

"F-Fine. Great." You forced, trying not to let on that you were panting lightly beneath your mask of scarves. When had you become comfortable with lying? "Never better." 

"Okay. Cool. Hang in there, it should only be about another thirty minutes at the pace we're moving." The shorter cadet held up a map of sorts, turning it this way and that. "I think. I've never taken this trail before. I've always been in Reiner's or Mikasa's group up until now." 

"Heh. Us too." Nack admitted from further behind, and Mylius ducked his hooded head from a few places in front of you. "Probably why we ended up getting lost." 

"So what were you going to say earlier, _______?" Connie asked, just as Eren pushed his way through the group to settle in next to you. Hearing his words, and seeing Eren at the same time had you tensing up. "Something about your hometown? Or your family?" 

"Don't interrogate the girl." 

"Shut up, Sasha! Damn, would everyone climb off my back for trying to make conversation?!" Connie scowled, face puffed up in a light pout. Seeing this, you chuckled lightly and just decided to be grateful for the alternate route his questions had created. 

"My upbringing wasn't very exciting." You shrugged, feeling an awful taste in your mouth at the words...technically, they were true. Mostly. "But I'm grateful. It could've been worse." 

Your eyes now carefully blank, you kept your focus on the footprints made by those in front of you. Silently, you hoped your words would sate any further curiosity on the topic of your past. Glancing forward briefly when your eyes caught a small movement, you saw Mylius looking back at you just before he turned back around with a straight spine. 

"You're doing great. Just stay focused on the path." Eren encouraged, and you nodded as the group plowed onward. 

Finally, _finally_ , after another twenty minutes or so of climbing through knee and sometimes thigh-high snow, Marco called, "I can see the base!" 

There was a collective, half-hearted cheer, and then a lot more grumbling at the prospect of actually making it to the end of the journey. As Marco called the final fifteen-minute mark, you slowed for a moment to catch your breath (and quietly get a grip on the suffocating cold) and were passed by nearly everyone– shooing off a few worried questions and glances. 

"I'm okay." You waved off Krista's concerns, and slowly stood to full height once more. The small blonde held onto your arm as she gently prodded you forward, and soon Eren came to join her in poking at you. 

"Guys, I'm fine." You chuckled weakly, not altogether sure if you actually _were_. "Go on ahead. I'll be right behind you." 

"Yeah, sorry, but I'm staying right here." Eren stated and shooed Krista up the path. "It's alright Krista. I got this– you just go take care of Ymir." 

"If you're sure..." Krista gave you a smile and headed back up the path. Just beyond the place Ymir was waiting up for her, you could see the snowy incline begin to give way to a steep, cliff-like ledge some odd meters to the left side of the path. For some reason, looking at it made you nervous. 

Noting how far away everyone was getting, you decided to just push through the discomfort and move. As you did, you and Eren both waved to a worried Marco, who'd paused halfway up the incline to observe the group's progress. Your group had nearly made it to the top; where another path would cut around the plummeting cliff and descend down to the main base. 

"Thanks." You murmured, and grimaced when you slipped and Eren had to catch your arm to keep you from falling into the snow. 

"No problem." Eren replied, then shot a glance your way and smiled over the high collar of his coat. "Just don't pull anything like before, alright? You know, you're a lot clumsier than I gave you credit for." 

As you were smiling and opening your mouth to reply, your feet slid backward with startling quickness, and you fell forward onto your elbows and knees.

"What the-?" You heard, and were startled to see that Eren had experienced the same thing, only he'd fallen flat; and the two of you shot each other worried glances as something rumbled quietly beneath the snow. Up ahead, Krista and Ymir were on the ground as well, and the others nearby had clutched at trees and each other to keep upright.

"Hell..." Further up, Connie was quickly scanning the path, his gaze wide and dark as he eyed everyone and the ground underneath them. "This just isn't our day." 

"Everyone remain calm." Marco called as lowly as he could and held up his hands, his eyes looking much the same as Connie's (and pretty much everyone's at this point). "No sudden movements. It could have just been a one-time thing. That's happened before." 

"But in case it wasn't..." Jean spoke through gritted teeth, holding onto a thick tree limb in what would've been a white-knuckled grip under his gloves. "No one make any loud noises. One at a time...try and make your way to more stable ground near the trees. Slowly." His amber eyes shifted to the one furthest up the path after him. "Samuel, you first– then Mylius. Here, take my hand..." 

"Not good." Eren spoke tersely, and he was about to slowly raise himself up onto his knees when there was another thick shifting sound. 

It all happened so quickly after that. A mere couple meters ahead, you could see a large section of the snowy path break off and form a small trench where one piece had disconnected from another. 

"_______..." Eren seemed to force out, green eyes wide and anxious. "It's okay. It'll be fine." 

Admittedly, you weren't too experienced in the ways of mountain training...but even you knew that if you and Eren tried to climb up now, without help, you might bring most of the path down with you– and everyone else with it. 

"Stay still." You murmured, contemplating briefly whether or not to reach out your hand to try and grab at his. "With our luck, the tiniest movement will-" 

"Agh-!" Eren gasped, startled as the ground underneath his prone form shifted, and you watched fretfully as the snowy floor began to crumble. The previously solid path was shifting– and Eren was quickly being lost to the cliff's edge. "Damnit!" 

"Eren!" You exclaimed, shooting an arm out without thinking and grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket just as he was about to slip clean off the mountain's edge. 

In your movement, you'd also slid forth, and had to abandon the task of grabbing him with both hands in order to quickly latch onto a nearby tree branch. 

Barely hanging onto the tree limb, _just_ lying atop semi-solid ground, you gazed down at Eren's frightened eyes and gave a small grunt as the strain of his weight pulled at your shoulder. 

The angle from which he was hanging was nearly a ninety-degree straight plummet to the bottom of the mountain– with little you could see between here and there to break his fall. 

"Hold still!" You heard Jean growl in what sounded like regret, and what might've been a hint of fear. Elsewhere, you heard several other people gasp or yelp in fright. "Don't move!" 

" _Fuck._ " Nack whispered heatedly from a spot just up the path, near the ledge as well. With a pant, and an anxious sound on Mylius' part, Nack grasped the coat of the flaxen-haired cadet, one arm clinging to the safety of a thick tree trunk. "Fuck!"

As everyone else was wondering what to do, _you_ were contemplating whether or not there would be anything to grab onto, somewhere alongside the bluff's wall. There was no getting around it; the snowy floor was unsuitable for direct rescue or extensive movement– the angle of the incline you hung off, too awkward and steep. The ledge you sprawled across, too unstable.

Eren would fall. No matter what you did.

"It's okay, Eren." You smiled, and you knew he could see it because the scarves over your face had long lost their tension and had fallen loosely around your neck. Your grip on his hand was was slipping...and it surprised you how much that _scared_ you. Huffing, you echoed the brunet's earlier words. "Everything's okay. Just focus on me...just hold on."

Eren gulped, and then gave a terse, frightened twitch of a smile. "I always thought I'd be the crazy one between the two of us."

_It was a near straight drop to the foot of the mountain._

"Eren..." You breathe, feeling the branch in your grip beginning to give way to your weight. Gulping, you eyed the unforgiving, wide open space below the boy's feet. Then the branch snapped, and you slid off the edge with dangerous quickness. 

Eren yelled in terror briefly as the two of you tumbled into a free-fall. In the next moment, you gasped as your back was struck by something, _hard_. You were struck again, not even a moment later, and this time the impact knocked the breath from your lungs. 

"_______!" Eren gasped, and with a hard jolt, you realized you'd come to an abrupt stop. Your lungs, already distressed from your surprise at the pond earlier, cried out as you struggled for breath. "Dammit! Swing to the wall!" 

_What?_ You questioned, gritting your teeth against the pain as Eren nudged you roughly with his foot. _What...?_

"Swing....to the edge!" Eren grated, gripping your wrist for dear life as he hung from a thick branch jutting out of the bluff's wall. "M-move! _______–!" 

Gasping, but being met with no air, you forced your gaze to focus– and reached out with a hand and a foot to grapple for purchase on a little collection of branches. There seemed to be a small cluster of trees that had grown from the hard soil of the cliff's wall. Of course, they had grown mostly horizontally, and they were dead now...besides that...

Would they hold? 

" _Sor–ry._ " You forced with no air, and gripped onto a branch, jolting downwards when Eren was forced to let you go in order for you to grab on with both hands. 

"Hang on!" Eren cried as he struggled; flailing legs, gritted teeth and all before he pulled himself painstakingly up and closer to the earthen wall. You watched him, no breath puffing from your lips as your lungs seized in your chest, still reeling from the strike to your back just moments before. 

"I got you!" Eren growled, out of breath as he lied atop a thick bundle of tree limbs, reaching down to grab your wrist, and then the sleeve of your jacket on the other side. "Work with me!" 

You lost leverage twice before finally managing to aid Eren in pulling your weight up and atop the branches. It was only when you collapsed, finally safe, that your lungs had recovered enough for you to draw in a violent, heaving breath— and promptly lose consciousness.  
.  
.  
.  
.

"_______?" 

.

.

"_______?" 

.

.

"Come on...there you are." 

.

.

The voice was soft, deep....and, you noted— somewhat affectionate. Who would–? "It's okay. See, I said everything would be okay, didn't I?" 

_Pain._ That was the first thing you registered. The second, was _cold_. Where were you? Who would be speaking to you in such a manner? It wasn't like...

"_______?" There was your name again. You felt someone give your stiff form a gentle shake.

... _like you had anyone that cared about you._

"Eren..." You mumbled, before you knew what you were saying. What? Who? Your head lolled slightly in the careful grasp of someone's warm hand. What did Eren have to do with anything? 

"Yeah. You're safe, _______. We both are...well, for the time being, anyway." 

Slowly, you cracked open your eyes, which seemed to have been sealed shut with frosty tears, and groaned at the pain in your back. It was coming back to you now...you and Eren had fallen off the mountain. You'd caught some branches and climbed your way atop. 

"You're okay?" You asked, only halfway to full consciousness by now, and _felt_ when Eren nodded. 

Opening your eyes once more, you realized how close you were to his face– and that you were being held steady by his arms, shoulder and legs. You'd been situated directly beside him, and Eren had an arm around your shoulders. He'd also thrown your legs across one of his with the other placed over yours– gripping you in any way he could to keep you from tumbling off your shared bed of branches. 

"You scared me for a minute." Eren admitted eventually. "I didn't know what happened. If you'd hit your head, or what– and so soon after falling into the pond." 

"How long was I out?" You asked quietly, beginning to sit up straight. Eren steadied you when you briefly lost balance on one of the thinner branches. 

"Just a few minutes." With your alertness having returned for the most part, the two of you worked together to disentangle yourselves and shift away to a more amiable distance. 

Now both of you had settled in somewhat comfortably. Well...as comfortably as you could, suspended atop some rickety branches, some odd hundred meters above ground. Finally, the two of you stilled, nearly in the same sitting position but turned slightly toward one another. 

You wanted to apologize for something, but you weren't sure what. For a few uncertain moments, both of you seemed to twiddle your thumbs and shift uncomfortably, as though waiting for the other to speak. 

"The others should be back with help soon." Eren offered. It was then you noticed that something was different about the sight that surrounded you– or lack thereof. It appeared, beyond reason, that the two of you had been almost completely surrounded by snow. "Yeah...when the rest of the group finally climbed out of the unstable snow, a lot more of it fell after us and kind of buried us here." 

"We're lucky it didn't collapse these branches." You murmured with little enthusiasm, noting the considerable pile of snow that had been caught in some of said branches a bit higher up the wall. You looked down at yourself and Eren, seeing the remnants of what must've been the debris of snow and twigs that had followed the slide.

"Yeah...lucky." Eren agreed, just as quiet as he followed your gaze to the opening of what had become a little, dark alcove. From this position, both of you could see the brightly lit base through the branches of the surrounding trees. 

"I'm sorry, Eren." You apologized just as said boy was opening his mouth. Eren blanched in surprise. "I couldn't keep you from falling." 

"So...you did the next best thing." You were mildly surprised to hear an undertone of sarcasm and what might've been anger in the his flat voice. Turning, you spotted Eren's dark eyes– looking more blue than green in the dark cave. "You should've just let me fall." 

Parting your cold, chapped lips to respond, you found you didn't have any logic to counter that statement. So instead, you just closed your mouth and looked to the branches below. It had fallen dark, now. Completely dark. Absently, you realized how bright it was for this time of night. 

"Maybe I should have." You agreed, not at all believing your own words. 

"But you didn't." Was the quick retort, and your shoulders fell slightly. You knew you hadn't done anything _wrong_ , but the biting words somehow made you feel like you had. Despite his apparent temper, Eren's next words were spoken softly. "Why? Why would you fall with me?" 

"I should've found a way," You shrugged, and sighed. Feeling cold, drained and numb, you replied. "To pull you back up." 

"That's not what I asked." 

"Then I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you." Was it possible that you'd had the prospect wrong, all this time? You'd thought that most people might've been pleased, even comforted to find that another person cared for them at such a degree as to fall down a mountain for them. 

You might have. You _had been_ , you realized, when Eren had gotten dangerously close to the crater in the pond to pull you out. Internally pleased at the time, despite the painful cold, but admittedly frustrated as well because Eren had been careless. You would've been fine, even had he not practically climbed into the hole with you. 

Well, he was certainly a hypocrite, wasn't he? You felt something light and pleased grow in your chest at the thought. 

"Anyone else would have let me go." Eren muttered, and you saw a deep contemplation through his outer facade of hardness and anger.

"That's not true." You chided, and smiled lightly when you saw a small grimace cross his face. "I think people are better than you give them credit for. Any one of our classmates might've done the same." 

"I don't think so..." Eren pushed the notion, and sighed, appearing tired as he leaned back against the hard dirt wall. "Armin and Mikasa, maybe, but that's..." 

"That's different." You allowed, lips quirking in a quick half-smile. "They're your friends. Your best friends." 

_They_ were Eren's good friends. Of course he would expect those two to act recklessly on his behalf– maybe even die for him. But you? You guessed that maybe a train of thought similar to yours was what had turned his expression abruptly from a disgruntled one to something melancholy and confused. 

Eren seemed to not know how to respond to that, and looked straight out the only opening of the alcove– to where the both of you could see several people making their way back out from the base with lanterns. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." 

"It's okay. I get it." You smiled against the frigid air, feeling the dry skin of your lips pull against the action. For once, you _did_ get it. As much as you liked your classmates, you weren't sure you truly trusted any of them. You were glad that someone as passionate and kind as Eren had the sense to look out for himself. 

_And_...you were sure that Eren did think of you as a friend. He must have, at least on some level. Otherwise...why would he have been so adamant about getting your attention or coming to your aid, on those days when you had done your best to avoid everyone? 

"Tell me something!" Eren blurted suddenly, interrupting your internal musings. You were confused to see, when you looked up, a look akin to desperation in his kaleidoscope eyes. "Something you've never told anyone."

Taken aback, you regarded him carefully. Took in a thoughtful breath. Gazed outward through the entrance to the little snow-cave the both of you currently inhabited. You thought....and thought. Never really questioning why such a question had been asked, and not realizing at that moment what kind of significance it held. 

"I..." Eren seemed conflicted, glancing down at his hands. They'd long been shoved back into his gloves, but you could still see the tight fists his fingers had been wound into. 

"I've never liked Krista Lenz." Was exactly _not_ what you expected to come out of Eren's mouth. Giving a short laugh, you smiled down at your own lap. One of your hands was bare– the glove had been lost during your fall. 

"That's strange. She's a likable girl." 

"She's too nice." Eren grumbled. "No one's _that_ nice...that unselfish– it just makes me feel like she's lying to everyone, _all the time_. I know it doesn't make any sense, but..."

Eren turned to you with a strange expression, and you knew that he was waiting on a response. 

"That's how I feel...anyway..." 

The other teen didn't seem the least bit worried that you'd run off and tell Krista what had been said about her...so, was it fair to infer that you could also trust _him_ with something like that? He _had_ just admitted something he never told anyone else, right? Eren didn't seem like a liar to you. 

Well...

Maybe you were contemplating too deeply? What was something you had you never told anyone...? 

"I miss my family." Was what you ended up whispering, feeling conflicted. 

It was a weak admission, maybe...but something that seemed to consume you every day. Something that left a gaping, jagged hole where the happiest memories in your heart should have been. In all the years you'd lived without them, you'd never told anyone how much it hurt. 

"I miss them terribly..." You murmured, and closed your bare left hand, feeling numb. 

Eren must've sensed, that besides the fact that your admission wasn't exactly a secret, it meant a great deal to you. In many ways, the loss of your family _was_ you, in your entirety. Their loss defined you, as much as any scar or blemish on your body. You liked to think, it defined you far more than any and every other aspect of your life. Like somehow, it would make you a better person if it did. 

"I watched my mom die." Eren murmured in the darkness, and you felt him grab your wrist before something slipped warmly over your hand– his glove. "I watched her get eaten, on that day...and I was helpless to save her. I guess that's why I'm so adamant on joining the Scouts." Eren scoffed lightly. 

"Some people say I have a death wish...and I really don't." He smiled sardonically— smiled for the first time since you two had fallen down the side of the cliff. "Others say I'm insane, or naive....maybe I am. It doesn't stop this need I feel, to avenge my family. It's not even a wish, or a desire, it's more like...there's no other path for me. My mom...my dad. Armin's family." Eren frowned. "All the people who've been made to suffer at the hands of those monsters..." 

You hadn't realized you'd been holding your breath until Eren looked back to you, directly into your eyes, and you gasped quietly. He didn't seem to mind– or notice for that matter. At that moment, you felt as though, looking into those bright orbs which almost seemed to glow in the dark, you could've been looking straight into the entirety of the rage and the determination of thousands...millions...the entirety of the emotion felt by every person within the walls. 

"I'm going to put an end to it. All of it." Eren vowed, and you didn't know what expression you were making, but Eren continued fiercely and leaned forward. "I will eradicate every titan from the world we live in, and dedicate my life to humanity's perseverance. That's who I am, _______." 

Seeming to realize the viciousness behind his admission, Eren let his shoulders drop and offered you a small, almost hesitant smile. "Just letting you know." 

"I think..." You finally began, quietly. _Eren Jaeger...the person you are can't be comprised in just a few sentences. You are indescribable._ "That you seem to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." 

Placing your newly gloved hand over his arm, you frowned at the sight of approaching lanterns, swinging their way slowly up the mountain trails. You hadn't really expected a response...and Eren didn't give one, other than a small frown, and a contemplative gaze aimed toward your own frown. However, something in his posture, in his eyes, seemed to lighten. 

"Eren..." You swallowed, feeling a sense of urgency travel in sparks up your spine as the lanterns drew ever closer. 

Despite the biting cold, and the fact that your fingers, toes and lips may very well be _blue_ by now, you found yourself wishing that the rescue team would take their time getting to your position. Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth briefly, you winced as the bite from earlier throbbed. 

"I know I told you I'd never had friends before, but technically that wasn't true." You frowned, licking at your lips as you tasted the metallic tone of iron on your tongue. 

"I had family. I _had_ family...and they were taken from me." Your voice wavered, but never broke as you gazed back into Eren's intense gaze. You'd been helpless to save your family as well. "That's why I was so reluctant to accept that...that someone like me could even make friends." You grimaced at the admission, feeling insignificant and pathetic. 

"That's why I kept running away. I was...unsettled." 

_You'd been frightened. You_ still _were. Frightened at the idea of beginning to care for someone, and then having to suffer their loss as a result of your failure to protect them. It was selfish of you._

But then, hadn't you already crossed that line? 

"Well, you don't need to be scared anymore." A hand was placed over your arm, much in the same manner you'd done mere moments ago. 

"If you'll have me," You proposed, slipping off Eren's glove on your left hand and baring your fingers to the cold air. "I promise not to run away any more." 

Eren didn't answer then, because in the next moment you'd taken his right hand and slipped off his only remaining glove. Both of your hands now bared, you grasped his broader, warmer, tanned hand in your own. Finally, bare skin to bare skin, with no gloves separating your grasp. 

Sealing, finally, the promise you hadn't gotten to complete, on that bothersome night at the old boarding house. 

"Friends, then." Eren smiled, eyes soft for once as he squeezed your hand gently in his own. 

He remembered. Feeling happiness swell in your chest, you drew in a calming breath and nodded with a smile on your face. 

It seemed too formal to shake your joined hands after all that...and so you weren't ashamed to admit that you and Eren pulled away only briefly to intertwine your fingers and take several moments longer pressing your palms together. Your fingers were cool against his warm ones. Your skin burned where his fingertips touched your flushed knuckles. 

It was...nice. 

Surprisingly, Eren didn't immediately pull away soon after the prospect of a handshake was rendered a moot point — it was only when Mikasa, apparently leagues ahead of the rescue team, converged suddenly on your shared alcove that Eren jumped and pulled away. Then he screamed as the resulting movement collapsed the branches immediately beneath him, and he fell through the opening, needing to be saved by Mikasa's lightning-like skills on the ODM. 

Watching with a slightly open mouth, you snapped your lips closed as a barrage of snow rained down on you. As Eren flailed and swore, you smiled softly and only nodded when Mikasa assured you she'd be back, pulling herself and the flustered Eren up the bluff's wall. 

Overhead, you could hear who sounded like Reiner scolding Mikasa for being so careless with the ODM. Sighing, you leaned back and looked down towards the foot of the mountain, through your seat of gnarled branches. Patiently, you waited to be rescued. 

.  
.  
.  
.

Roughly an hour later, after being forcefully restrained to a stretcher between Marco and Jean, you'd been carried to the cabin base with little preamble. Having been treated for potential hypothermia and dehydration, you were left with little to do other than sip some soup and tea by the fire while things winded down. 

"What a fucking mess." Shadis had sighed, after observing your medical care and receiving Marco's oral report of the journey. He'd soon stalked off to his officer's quarters on the far side of the cabin, after ordering you to see the medical team if there were any drastic changes in your health. 

There hadn't been. Unless you counted the pins and needles currently stabbing through your face, arms, legs and....basically everywhere. Your shivering had ceased, for the most part, and you were no longer numb– just cold. 

The cabin was rather large, comparatively. The main hall was split into two sides: on one side was a small kitchen behind a serving counter, with the rest of that space being filled with wooden tables much like the canteen back at the main base. The other side consisted of a small medical unit, and a lounging area with couches and arm chairs near the large hearth. Near the kitchen was the officer's quarters, and near the med unit across the room was a set of double-doors leading to the cadet quarters. 

For the most part, you'd sat near the fire on the plush rug, drinking tea and sipping slow spoonfuls of soup. Nearest to you was Mina, a bit off to your right, and then Armin on the other side. Reiner, Jean, Thomas and a few others were scattered across the lounging area. 

"Whew." Reiner stretched out on the rug a short distance from where you sat. "That was a close one, huh guys? Barely made it out of that storm with our asses intact." 

"It's freezing balls outside." Jean agreed, wrapped in two different blankets and nursing his own oversized mug of tea. "I hate the mountains." 

On their side of the little area, the boys continued making small talk, often complaining about the cold or how much trouble they'd had staying on the path. Though you disagreed with some of what Jean was saying: Marco had done an excellent job of keeping the group together, and _alive_ as it had turned out. 

You were about to speak up and say as much when something warm and heavy was draped across your head and shoulders. Glancing up, you found yourself no longer surprised that Eren would be the one to wrap you in his extra blanket. 

You thanked him and watched through your peripherals as the oddly quiet teen meandered about the room. Thinking of moving to a table (your back was beginning to ache from your slumped position) you thought back to your time in the snowy alcove. In that space, most of any bite the storm had to offer had been broken by the snowy walls. That had been good news for your condition, at the very least. Other than that...you didn't know the exact significance of what both of you had confessed under that pile of snow, but somehow you felt it _was_ significant. 

More and more lately, even before the alcove, you'd been noticing that the blue-eyed wonder was becoming, well...soft. You still thought as much even after being at the receiving end of his scolding on the cliff's wall. He'd seemed angry, back then, but gentle regardless. It was the only way to describe it and maybe, _maybe_ you were overthinking things. 

Something in the back of your mind, still hesitant, wondered if he was coming to accept you into his, _their_ , inner circle. Though the thought of being accepted pleased some part of you, (made you _happy_ , even) you found yourself still quite unsure of how to handle it. Even after nearly two months since joining the academy, you were still unsure. 

Now Eren had settled in next to you, much like he had on those rickety branches. In his hands was a steaming cup of what was either some strong tea, or black coffee. Across the circular rug you heard a someone sigh; and a moment later heard someone else begin snoring. Glancing up, you caught Jean's flat gaze as he shoved at Reiner's leg with a double-socked foot. 

"He's out like a light." Jean commented, taking his mug out of the way when the big blonde rolled over in his sudden bought of sleep. According to some of the other boys, (although gifted with the ability to fall asleep in seconds) Reiner was known to sleep fitfully– rolling this way and that and snoring up a storm all the while. 

You didn't want to get up just as Eren had sat down, but you'd have liked to finish your meal sooner rather than later. At that moment, you craved some type of tranquility, and sitting there, you found distractions everywhere you looked. Plus...you had a vague feeling that someone might want to speak with you. 

Jean's eyes followed your movements as you got up without a word and made a beeline for the tables near the kitchen. 

"Watch it." A flat voice said, as you bodily crossed paths with someone in one of the isles. Broth dripped over your fingers from the impact, and you looked up to see a set of sharp cocoa eyes staring down at you over a red, freckled nose, 

"Ymir." You greeted, absently feeling the sensation of warm tea sinking into your long-sleeved shirt. Pausing at the silence that followed, you eventually said, "I'm glad to see you're okay." 

"Just watch where you're going, alright?" The taller girl didn't return the sentiment, but simply moved past you with a sniff. "Don't go getting into any more trouble." 

Making no move to follow, you simply took the interaction for what it was and sat yourself at the end of a table. Now finding it easier to sit with proper body alignment, you straightened out your back and began eating your dinner with more gusto. You didn't care for bread at that moment, only tearing off a few small pieces to watch float atop your soup. Indeed, so much had happened lately that you didn't want to unsettle your stomach by eating too many solids.

"You must've had one hell of a day." Jean remarked, sliding into the seat across from you on the opposite bench. You didn't glance up to look into those amber eyes after he'd sat down. You knew what you'd find: dormant anger, and barely concealed disdain. It was a running theme for him. 

"It hasn't been boring." You replied quietly. It had certainly been one way to introduce you to the wonders of mountain training. 

"How are you feeling? Any better?" 

"Fine." You answered without thinking. Picking up your spoon once more, gaze still on the table, you felt a tremor run through your sore fingers. "Great. I'm sure I'll be better in no time." 

"Hm." Was the noncommittal sound you received in return. 

"How are _you_ , Jean?" You asked, chiding yourself briefly at taking so long to reciprocate the question, however much it may have been feigned on his part. "Any injuries?" 

"Besides a broken spirit?" Jean sighed, his voice oddly light. "I'm _great_ , thanks for asking." 

The last words had been spoken bitingly— but you didn't analyze that too much at this point. He and Eren might've been more alike than either would admit. In any case, you found you didn't mind. 

"That's good..." You murmured, staring down at what remained of your soup. Near the fire, Reiner was being stirred awake by Bertholdt, who apparently wanted him to move away from the hearth. You hadn't realized how close he'd been getting, in all his fretful movements. 

"You look like you're getting settled in." Connie patted your shoulder as he sat to your right on the bench, having come up from behind you. "You kinda gave us a scare earlier." 

"You're telling me." Jean muttered. "You didn't see her fall through a floor of ice into a frozen lake." 

Actually, _he_ hadn't either. Only Eren and Sasha had. 

Connie winced, glancing at you sympathetically. He couldn't seem to find a response to that, and just opted to tug one of your blankets more securely around your shoulders. You offered a tired half-smile at the gesture. 

To Connie's right, you could see Eren sit down, followed by Armin across the table. Vaguely, you took interest in the position they'd chose to sit in– out of the entire group of boys in the 104th, Jean seemed to pick on Armin the least. In that way, he and Mikasa both made good buffers between him and Eren. The blonde gave you a small smile, which you returned. Mikasa soon joined the table next to Armin.

It getting easier to smile, you realized. Even in spite of all that had happened to you that day. 

Setting down your spoon, you stared into your mug of milk tea. "What's bothering you, Jean? You seem put out." 

There was a pause.

"Oh, other than the usual....not much." Would sarcasm ever leave this boy's voice? "I'm only wondering whether or not you'll go down a placement in the ranks because of today's events." 

"Jean, don't be an asshole." Connie sighed. 

"Because it wouldn't be fair." Jean interjected, and this time you did look up– taken aback, and surprised further to see an intense look of irritation and confusion on his normally proud face. "If you did, that is..." He twirled a butter knife between his fingers slowly as he spoke. "Look. I've given up on the notion that you'll wash out at this point. Mostly. I just..." 

The boy with the two-toned hair glanced around the table in annoyance. Clearly, he'd wanted to speak to you alone, though for who's benefit you didn't know. Jean didn't seem like one to hold his tongue, even in front of a crowd. Bertholdt and a sleepy Reiner had also joined a table just across the isle from where you and Jean sat. 

"I just want to know." Jean murmured, almost regretfully as he eyed you with dull amber orbs, snapping irritably toward Mina's small form as she approached the tables. 

"Yes?" You asked, hoping that his question would be an easy one to answer– though you already had an idea of where this conversation was going. "I'll be happy to answer anything for you– if it'll help you sleep at night." 

The last part had been a weak attempt at teasing. Jean's lips lifted briefly in acknowledgement, and you found that you're first instinct to humor him had been worth it. 

"I...." Jean seemed to choke on his words, looking trapped before slamming a fist down on the table, making a dent with the butter knife he still clutched. "W-Why don't you ever stick up for yourself?" 

"Uh...what?" Taken aback, you tilted you head. "What do you mean?" 

"Well, that's not actually what I planned to ask, but it works all the same." Jean spat, eyeing you in irritation, and, oddly enough, something else as well. "I know you _can_. Hell, we all know you can defend yourself. So why don't you?"

"Because I...haven't needed to?" Your answer was more of a sheepish question. "I don't think I understand your concern." 

"Bullshit." Jean pressed, both fists now on the table. "I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. Say you've been assaulted. Say you've been attacked by a...a big...strong _man_ ," Ignoring your laugh at his choice of words, he plowed on. "Let's say...an MP."

"An MP?" Reiner chuckled from one table over. Also joining that table was a sleepy and disgruntled looking Marco. "That's a little random, isn't it?" 

"An asshole MP." Jean clarified, and Marco made this little blanching noise that drew a smile across your face. "You wouldn't stand up for yourself?" 

"That's actually understandable." Bertholdt murmured deeply from his seat next to Marco, towering nearly two heads taller than him even sitting down. "If _anyone_ hit any military official, MP or not, they could get into serious trouble." 

"I'm talking about basic self-defense, here." Jean asserted cuttingly. "He made the first move." 

Your lip had begun to bleed again– and the sight of it stirred a memory in Jean that refused to let him rest. If only the others weren't there... 

"You're capable." Jean pressed further, eyes hard but confused as well. "If anyone was beating the shit out of you, even if he was an MP...why wouldn't you raise a hand to defend yourself? That's...I don't even have words for it. Beyond stupid. Reckless."

"I told you to let it go." You hummed in mild amusement, and smiled placatingly at the angsty teen. Obviously, he was struggling to maintain some semblance of your privacy, but failing under the weight of his curiosity. 

"Wait, what damn MP?" Connie demanded, looking around the table. "Am I missing something?" 

Jean opened his mouth, but was shot a look across the isle by Marco. Slumping in his seat, the two-toned teen groaned and leaned his chin on a fist, admitting defeat. This conversation was fruitless...

"It's _fine_." You grabbed the handle of Jean's mug, which had been pushed to the very edge of the table sometime during his rant. Sliding it in front of him, you were gratified when the teen grabbed it and took a long drink, appearing thoughtful and unsettled. "You're nerves can rest assured that I'll be able to defend myself accordingly in the future. And I _will_." 

Ignoring the curious looks about the table, you shifted in your seat, feeling a phantom pain in your stomach. 

"As much as I can, in any case..." 

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

"No...way!" Jean fumed, hands clenched into fists on the desk sitting in front of the rankings. "No way that girl has already reached the top twenty in just one month!" 

"Dude, chill." Reiner looked at him, a little irritated, though he couldn't deny that he too had gotten quite the surprise seeing your name on that chalkboard. "It's not that big of a deal." 

"Like hell it isn't!" Jean bit out, turning and stalking out of the room, leaving several people behind him in a second-hand fit over the newly posted rankings. He'd only been _joking_ about the new kid overtaking Jaeger. No way in hell did he actually expect it would happen, and in four weeks no less. 

"Oh boy." Reiner sighed, Bertholdt grimacing lightly next to him. 

"I have a feeling this is gonna get ugly..." Sasha muttered around a mouthful of stolen bread, the existence of which everyone stoically ignored.

Stalking out of the main hall, into the sunlight bearing down upon the courtyard in scorching waves, Jean resisted the urge to kick something (briefly entertaining the idea of finding Jaeger and kicking _him_ ). Fuming, he rapidly scanned the surrounding area for your smaller form, sure he'd seen you around the courtyard earlier. 

What did you usually do during breaks? Did he even have that kind of info on you? If he were to guess...he'd say that maybe you'd be in the cafeteria, doing some book work– from what he'd seen, you were turning out to be as much of a bookworm as Arlert. 

Either way, there was one thing Jean Kirschtein knew for sure...he had a bone to pick with you. 

Though after a few minutes of searching, he was already considering abandoning the task of finding you. It was too hot outside to be stomping around like this, and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of you since setting out. 

Just as he was prepared to turn back the way he came however, Jean began hearing a raised voice coming from an alley in between two buildings. The voice, undoubtedly male, was unpleasant and unfamiliar. Coming to a stop, the cadet changed direction and sought out the noise– if only for curiosity's sake. 

Arriving at the end of the correct alley, Jean spotted what was clearly a cloaked, hooded man hovering over the smaller build of a cadet. Losing interest, Jean was about to move on– when he happened to glance back down the alley just as the hooded figure shifted aside. 

"–know without any doubt that you either paid...." The rest of the hooded man's words were intelligible as he had lowered his voice to a low growl. To Jean's surprise and confusion _you_ were the one being hissed at in such an angry manner. 

It...appeared that Jean had found you after all. Pausing, he shot you an incredulous look, which was either ignored or not seen altogether. 

What could _you_ possibly have done to make that man so furious? All negativity aside, you had one of the most even tempers and pleasant manners of anyone Jean had ever met. Just as this thought crossed his mind, the man reached out one large hand and grabbed you by the front of your shirt. 

It was something that Jean had seen done to you before, by Shadis– and usually, you took it with all the worry of strolling through a garden in the middle of summer. This time, however...he was more than surprised to see your eyebrows drawn into a slight frown over your suddenly stormy eyes, your mouth set in a straight, firm line; every feature of yours appearing as irritated as he'd ever seen. 

"I've done nothing that could violate or annul our contract in any way, sir." You responded strongly, the words biting despite being controlled and respectful. "I apologize most sincerely, but I won't be signing anything...nor will I be leaving this encampment without first being ordered to do so by my commanding officer. As is made clear in the terms approved by Premier Zackly." 

"I swear to god, little girl..." The man growled, and, seeming to lose himself in his anger, raised a hand and slapped you across the face with a hard, resounding _smack_ that looked strong enough to nearly take your head off. 

Jean stood there, mouth fallen open, shocked and appalled as your head snapped to the side, the strike knocking you off balance. You careened to the right, in the direction where the gaping teen stood some several yards away— and steadied yourself before you could fall. 

Blood fell from your lips, and you made a small noise of hurt as you flinched visibly. 

"I could _end_ you right here and now! You and your stupid ambitions to become a soldier! Hell, I could-!" The man then raised a fist and swung it right up into your stomach, abruptly making the air rush out of your lungs, and sending you falling to the dirt in a pained heap. He didn't seem to mind that Jean had taken up residence at the end of the alley. "I could end your fucking _life_ right now and no one would ask or think twice about your absence, you little bitch! How dare you talk to me like that?!" 

The man then struck out with a foot, landing a kick to your chest, and you fell backwards, not having made a single move to defend yourself. Your eyes were tense but dull as you stared up at the man currently assaulting you. Brutally, another two kicks battered your midsection. 

By this point, Jean, however lost for words, had forfeited his shock in exchange for indignation and a new kind of anger. Taking a step into the alley, he felt something well up and pool hotly in the pit of his stomach; an unfamiliar instinct he'd rarely, if ever felt in the past. The instinct to protect someone who wasn't going to protect herself. 

"Hey bastard!" Jean raged, charging forward as the man under the hood made to kick you once more. 

Rushing forward before he could, the cadet with the two-toned undercut landed a hard punch of his own directly to the face of the big, burly stranger— sending him flying backwards and to the ground. 

"W-wait, Jean! Don't!" You gasped, seeing the man under the hood go flying like a rag doll. A moment later, and he was already rising.

"You don't kick someone when they're down, you pathetic fuck!" Jean growled, fury having roared within him at seeing you getting beaten without mercy, despite having been angry with you himself not two minutes before. "Especially not a young girl who isn't fighting back!" 

"Wait! No!" You pleaded, getting to your feet painfully and stumbling forward until you could jump in front of Jean's next strike. He immediately reared back, barely avoiding hitting you as you held your arms out placatingly. "Stop!" 

"Why you-!" The man on the ground raged, standing up and taking a swing at Jean over your head— Jean, who dodged and came to stand beside you as though daring the man to make another move. Somehow, he had a feeling you wouldn't fight back no matter what this man did; but why? 

Stepping in front of you, Jean narrowed his eyes and prepared to fight the hooded bastard. For a moment, it appeared he would have to. Then, 

"WHO'S FIGHTING IN MY COURTYARD???" A voice roared, and each of you turned to see an angry commandant stalking quickly through a gathering crowd, directly toward your position. "You! The bastard in the raincoat! Who the fuck are you to be assaulting my students?!" 

Growling, the man ripped off his coat, letting it fall to the dusty ground in a heap. Jean's eyes widened in disbelief as the mysterious man's uniform was revealed. A luxurious military jacket– clean, pressed clothing underneath and a beautifully embroidered crest below his angry eyes, showcasing a graceful creature of myth bearing a single swirled horn.

The Military Police? What? Why would–?

"I don't care who you are." Shadis picked the man up by his throat and shook him once, causing those gathered to gasp. "When you disrespect my camp and my rules, you disrespect _me_. Do I _look_ like I take disrespect _well_ , you piece of shit?!" 

"No...sir." The MP managed, throwing a hateful look over to your slumped form just behind Jean's tense shoulders. Glancing back and seeing your beaten, bloody form, Jean couldn't find it in himself to be angry at you anymore. Not even if he'd just inadvertently punched an MP. 

An _asshole_ MP. Despite that revelation, Jean's knuckles itched to get in one more hit. 

"My office. Now!" Shadis growled, dropping the man, who barely managed to stay on his feet. The instructor then turned his eyes to you, and you gave a tense, jerky salute against the wall. It was obvious you were having trouble standing upright. "I'll have words with you later, cadet. Until then, get yourself some medical attention." 

"...Sir!" You answered, flushing a little angrily to have been caught in this position by so many people. Wincing, you hunched over a bit and held your stomach against the waning pain. 

"Holy shit did you take a beating." Jean said, half incredulous and half worried as he hovered a hand over your shoulder– unsure of how to help. "Are you— are you okay?" 

"Don't...don't worry about it." You laughed dryly, making to head towards the education building; where you'd intended to go in the first place. "Thank you, Jean....thanks for...defending me." 

"No...problem." Jean answered dumbly as he watched you straighten up and fucking walk away from taking several major hits like it was nothing. 

"I hope you don't get in trouble for this." You expressed regretfully, shooting the other cadet a small smile as you slowly righted yourself into a more respectable stance. 

"_______..." Jean blinked, still kind of floored from what had just transpired. "Are you gonna be okay? What was that?" 

"I can't talk about it...not right now." You answered quietly, frowning at the taller teen. "Just...let it go, okay? I'm fine. Thank you, Jean." 

You walked away. And, Jean noted, not in the direction of the infirmary, either. 

"Well...that happened." A new voice pipped up from the opposite end of the alley. Turning, Jean sneered at the sight of Eren Jeager. 

"Well, well...looks like someone's not as heroic and compassionate as people give him credit for." Jean scoffed, brushing some dirt off his sleeve, feeling oddly drained. "Asshole. Aren't you supposed to be her _friend_? You could've helped." 

Ignoring the accusation, Eren simply walked to Jean's end of the alley. Internally mulling over the information he'd just heard, Eren wondered if this was the reason you'd been so distant those last few days. 

"Take a good look, Jean-boy." Eren said quietly, heat simmering in his eyes as he watched the retreating back of the MP that had just assaulted his new friend. "That's what you're headed for in a year's time." 

" _Tch!_ Don't be so sure, Jaeger." Jean answered disgustedly, turning away. "I'm nothing like that dick."  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

"Just don't expect me to come to your rescue or some shit, alright?" Jean jabbed a finger in your direction and you smiled. Behind his scowl, you could see what might have been a smile fighting to stay hidden. As the teen turned away, you could read in his tense shoulders and twitching lips— _it was a one-time thing._

"No one said anything like that, you dork." Ymir snarked as she walked by the table with Krista in tow, and there were several chuckles around the immediate vicinity at Jean's sudden bout of apparent insanity. "As if you could ever be someone's knight in shining armor. Get real." 

The thing was, he actually had been, though you hadn't wanted saving. You knew it— and so did Jean. 

So it was with several yawns and even more muttering about Jean's odd behavior and weirdly proposed scenarios that the little group departed for lights out. As you were making your way to the girls rooms, you paused at the feeling of someone nudging your arm. Turning back, you saw Eren studying you with a sheepish look. 

"I thought it was about time to fess up," Eren began, a little ruefully. "On that day...I saw how strong you were. But I also saw how unwilling you were to fight back." 

"Is that why you never said anything?" You offered a smile, to show you weren't mad. "I suppose you're here to tell me I was wrong?"

"No." Eren kicked at nothing with his shoe, looking contemplative. Gazing off to the side, his large, vibrant eyes looked lost in memory. "I wanted to say...it's okay. Armin's like that too– a pacifist. I can't say I agree with it, but it's okay.......and I'm sorry. For not helping you. I really am." 

"I forgive you." You replied needlessly. There'd been nothing to forgive.

Eren gave you a smile then that looked genuine, even through his obvious exhaustion from the day. "Like that horseface said...it's obvious you don't need protection. But I promise, next time I won't just stand by." 

You couldn't say you entirely believed him. Nonetheless, the sentiment was appreciated. 

Not long after that, you went your separate ways. That night, you found you slept peacefully, and the whole night through without suffering nightmares or painful memories. From that night on...something had changed. True to his word, Eren never let any altercation against you slide after that— and he never left your side. Not even when he should have.

As it turned out, life became an entirely new experience when you had someone to share it with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had sooooo much trouble with this chapter. You'll need to help me out, readers. Just a little bit. Maybe it's because I've been working on this bitch practically nonstop for _days_ , but I would genuinely appreciate some feedback on the actual story. I tried. You know I did. The chapter is around 10,600 words long, and something about it just doesn't feel right to me, (maybe the pacing or my attention to detail) but literally I CAN'T make it any better than it is....you don't even know how much I struggled with this one.
> 
> So, yeah, any comments are welcome. I felt like this chapter was a bit slow, but this is one arc that I planned from the very beginning, and it got muddled somehow, so I'm being forced to rethink dialogue and events for future chapters. It's very stressful. I just hope this wasn't too great of a disappointment....I wanted to work on it more, but I'm burnt out, and I decided not to keep you waiting any longer. 
> 
> Hope y'all are doing well! Be safe and have a great day! :)

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone reads this, I hope you enjoyed. If you're interested in reading more, drop me a line, huh? It's not that hard.


End file.
